The Miracle of Swindon Town Article
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The first series featuring the football (soccer) team, the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers, played on FIFA 11. The first episode was uploaded on September 7th, 2011, and the last, #217, on February 20th, 2013.
John first played as Swindon Town during "Hank and John Play FIFA 11", playing against Arsenal in a desire to replicate the 1969 League Cup Final.
Over their five-year history, Swindon Town won three FA Cups, two Carling (League) Cups, and also won the Premier League. Because five years in the game had gone by during only seventeen months in real time, the final season was in the later part of the decade, in a year John could never remember.
Key players from its history include:
- "Bald" John Green (#9) - leading goal-scorer and spiritual captain of the Swoodilypoopers throughout all five seasons; suffered two long-term injuries, including at the very end. His marriage to "Other John Green" was revealed during his first injury.
- "Other" John Green né Bennett (#11) - another leading goal-scorer; married to Bald John Green. Despite the fact that the game recognizes his name as John Green, his jersey continues to read J. Bennett, his name pre-marriage.
- D. "Fat" Lucas (#1), the Swoodilypoopers' first goalkeeper, who played for the first two seasons and then for sporadic games during their Premier League history. The rest of the time, he mentored other Swoodilypooper goalies, and, when John announced his move to FIFA 13, he also announced that Lucas would be his successor.
- "Stone Cold" Cteve Austin (#32), a striker mostly active in the earlier years, known for partying frequently and thus clashing with his coach.
- Ricardo "Bunsen" Berna, a goalie who replaced Fat Lucas and played during the Swoodilypoopers' first two years in the Premier League. During a game, his attention was diverted from the game by a woman in the stands; after a relationship blossomed, he announced he would move with her to Italy and thus leave the team.
- Leroy Williamson,
- "Voluptuous" Péricard,
- "French the Lalalalalalala"Lallana,
- "Ginger" Rampage, spent years in the Manchester United youth system, yet never made it to the team's senior squad. He has anger management issues, which is why people call him "Ginger Rampage".
- "One Size" Fitz Hall,
- "Merrick" Maric, electively mute, Maric does not speak, though nobody knows exactly why. Nobody knows where he comes from either, again, because he doesn't speak.
- D. "McGoldrilocks"
- Jesus Ángel, spare striker along with D. McGoldrilocks
The series also featured several running jokes, including:
- "Context is everything", a joke not unique to FIFA 11, but also often came after such phrases as "Bald John Green couldn't get it up!"
- "That was not a foul!", almost always followed by John excusing the foul as a "Christian side hug" or "ankle-hugging".
- Google Autofill, a game that John would play with whoever else was in the room (at various times Stan, Danica, and Meredith), in which said person would type into Google a specific question (such as "Why am I..."), followed by each letter of the alphabet; the first suggestion for this would be given to John for him to answer.
This series was followed by "Swoodilypoopers Strike Back", played on FIFA 13.