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Last sync:2023-01-15 06:45
In which Hank and John answer questions and hangout in a weird alley in Canton, Ohio and act dumb! It's great!

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Hank: Good morning, John.

John: Good morning, Hank.

Hank: How are you doing?

John: I'm on a plane.

Hank: How's that?

John: It's not my favorite.

Hank: Thank you.

Crowd: Good morning, John, it's Friday! [Applause]

Hank: Hi, we're in Canton, Ohio.

John: It's question Tuesday, the day that Hank answers real questions, from real Nerdfighters. Let's get right to it.

Hank: Did you get some questions for me?

John: I did.

Hank: Thanks for making my video easier. I'm a little stressed out.

John: Song you'e had on repeat recently?

Hank: What was it?

John (singing): Don't stop me now.

Hank: No, Despacito.

John: God, we have listened to a lot of Despacito in the last 48 hours. 

Hank: I didn't put Despacito in the book. That's why there's a sequel.

John: (laughing) Oh, God. What's the best kind of cheese?

Hank: American, of course.

John: That's factually incorrect. 

Hank: It's floppy.

John: Is that a cricket? 

Hank: It is a cricket. No, you can't choose a favorite cheese, that's ridiculous. There are different types of cheese for different moods. And I like goat. I like goats.

John: what's you favorite type of goat. 

Hank: I feel like that would be really mean, to pick a favorite goat. Like, all those other goats.

John: Do you mean like our goat fans who watch our videos are gonna be like, "Oh man, he didn't pick me. He's a mountain goat fan, not a billy goat fan." 

Hank: I don't think mountain goats are actually goats.

John: Shut your mouth. 


John: Hey Hank, what are you gonna be for Halloween. I'll answer that, I'm going to be a bumblebee.

Hank: So we're getting the second bumble bee outfit because the one you have doesn't fit very well, so I might also be a bumblebee. 

John: Hey Hank, what is your favorite word in An Absolutely Remarkable Thing?

Hank: Deadpanned.

John: I noticed that you used that exactly one. Was that a thing? Was that a shout out? It made me so happy. My favorite word in An Absolutely Remarkable Thing is beautiful. 

John: My Wikipedia page wrongly identifies me as an actor, when it should identify me as an actor who was literally cut from the only film he appeared in. What is one thing that should not be pumpkin spiced? 

Hank: Ginger Spice, the Spice Girl.

John: What a huge opportunity they missed to have a Pumpkin Spice. Hank, what would you name a robot that you found in New York City at 3 o'clock in the morning?

Hank: Benjamin. 

John: Benjamin? I would name him Carl because it's an extremely metaphorically resonant name. I've got a forthcoming video series by the way. It's called "How to Read An Absoutely Remarkable Thing Figuratively." It's amazing.

Hank: It's gonna be eight parts, 40 minutes a peace, spread out over two months.

John: I just got a raindrop in the eyeball. Direct. I don't know, how did it get through the glasses? 

Hank: Curveball from the sky.

John: Hank, what's the best genre of music to write to?

Hank: I- silence.

John: Silence. 

Hank: The idea that anyone can write while listening to music is a complete mystery. 

John: (cross-talk, singing quietly) Don't stop me now. (speaking normally) I mean, I would pay $200 right now to get Don't Stop Me Now out of my head. I mean, this is a really good business idea for anyone out there who wants it: Uber, but for getting songs out of my head.

Hank: What you have invented is like Hootie and the Blowfish comes over and it's like, "I only want to be with you." And then you're like, well, I guess Don't Stop Me Now is gone.

John: It's not actually. It's just, the moment you said "don't stop me now" I was like

John & Hank (singing): Don't stop me now.

John: I feel that my consciousness has been hijacked by an intelligence outside of myself. Super meta.

Hank: Wouldn't be the first time. 

John: (laughing) You're not wrong. Hank, what has been your favorite TV show or movie of this year? 

Hank: Oh gosh. The movie I tend to watch most is taking care of a two-year-old. Cause you can't - when do you have time to watch a movie.

John: And the movie that I watched the most is Penguins of MadagascarPenguins of Madagascar is the single most underrated move in the human history. 

Hank: Son in Law.

John: Hank, what's been the best part about tour?

Hank: Um, ah, ugh. It's hanging out with my brother.

John: It is! It is for me too. I'll see you tomorrow. And today. And the day after. Bye!