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Uploaded:2018-09-25
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In which John tells some Boot Too Big jokes to make Hank laugh on a tremendously important day in his life. Congratulations to Hank on the publication of his critically acclaimed first novel, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. The book is available at libraries and bookstores everywhere; you can get tickets to see Hank (and sometimes me) on tour at http://hankgreen.com

To join in the conversations about An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (there are spoiler free channels and spoilery ones!), join other nerdfighters at https://discord.gg/DZH6bBa or go to http://tuataria.com


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Good morning Hank, It's Tuesday. Greeting from the floor of a hotel room. It's September 25th which means your book "An Absolutely Remarkable Thing" is out in the world. It's had a lovely reception so far. People have been sending me updates as they read it and pictures of themselves reading it and also the reviews are great!

Like, the Associated Press just called it "A thrilling journey that takes a hard look at the power of fame." It really is a thrilling journey that takes a hard look at the power of fame.

And tonight we get to celebrate the book here in New York City at the Town Hall, one of my favorite places in the world and then we go on tour and I am just so happy that last night I started crying for no reason except for gratitude. But, Hank, in addition to this being a very exciting time I can imagine it being a somewhat stressful time because this thing that you have been working on for five years is being read by lots of people and that's exciting but also scary.

And, Hank, when I feel like that I find comfort and joy in one extremely specific place I would like to share with you today. I am referring, of course, the boottoobig subreddit.

You know BootTooBig, Hank. "Roses are red. Sugar is sweet. His Boot Too Big For His Gosh Darn Feet." Lightly edited because my kids watch vlogbrothers now. I don't know what it is about this joke construction that I find completely irresistible but like, "Roses are red. The zoo has elephants. Please urinate with precision and elegance." There must be something about the meter of "Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you." that just calms some reptilian part of my brain even though the poem itself is terrible and for the record, violets are usually violet. But when you take the same meters and exand it to other worlds I just find it inexpressibly delightful like, "Violets are indigo. Mockumentaries are silly. On this day 9 years ago, I dropped the pot of chili."

"Roses are red. You can't sink the Titanic. If Waffle House closes...It's time to panic."

Here's one of my very favorite ones: Roses are red. I'm not a hero..(laughs) I can't do it...hold on. "Roses are red. I'm not a hero. Gas leak at Cyber Goth Rave Kills Zero."


Also, it's just a reminder of how lovely the world can be if you pay extremely close attention, like, "Roses are red. Jordan could dunk. We know he can swim but... Can Richard Funk?"

"Roses are red. Blasphemy is unholy. I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli."

"Roses are red. I'm a trendsetter. Camouflage pants are getting better and better..."

There are also wordless boottoobig's and as you know Hank I'm not much for puns but I'm gonna give you one because I know that you love a dad joke. "Best dad jokes in town. This pun's for you, fam. If you're happy and you know it...Clamp your hams."

Okay, just three more, then I'll get serious again. "Roses are red. Hakuna Matata. Life is a party and I'm rhe pinata."

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Stop killing mountains to make Moutain Dew."

And lastly, "Roses are red. Mercury's in thermometers. Invincible moose, next five kilometers." I hope that brought you joy, Hank. It certainly made me happy.

So, there's a moment at the end of the movie "Back to the Future" where George McFly opens a box to find finished copies of his book, "A Match Made In Space". And as a kid, I often dreamt of that moment, getting to see my own story in the world. Hank, you've been working on this book for more than five years, but I know you've been dreaming of this moment for much, much longer than that, so congratulations. I am so excited for you and for everyone to read "An Absolutely Remarkable Thing." Nerdfighteria the book is available at libraries and book stores everywhere. This is even a discord where you can discuss it while you read it, links in the doobly-doo below. I look forward to seeing many of you tonight in New York for the launch and then on the rest of the tour. Hank, you did it! I will see you on Friday. And also, in a couple hours.