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In which John discusses his relationship with being a celebrity. The Wimbly Womblys take on Derby County.

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Twitter: @AFCWimblyWombly
Hello, and welcome to Hankgames Without Hank. My name is John Green, I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys in 12th place, climbing up the ladder with 13 points, thanks largely, you've gotta say, to Deeney and Dicko. Houdini and Dicko, with a stunning, stunning beginning of season form here for the Wimbly Womblys.

Today I'm going to talk about celebrity, and like, being a celebrity, my changing thoughts on it, my changing relationship with it, et cetera. Because I guess - it used to be that when people would say, like, "Oh, what is it like to be famous?" I'd be like, "I dunno" because I really didn't feel like I was famous. Now, I kind of do at times and that's not - I don't know, I have to say that I don't much like it, at least the- I guess the parts of being famous I don't like are the parts of- are the celebrity parts. You know, obviously I'm very grateful for the platform, like, it's a lucky, lucky thing if you can play, you know, FIFA semi-professionally and then give the proceeds to a worthy football club like AFC Wimbledon. That's a lucky and rare thing. And so I'm very grateful for that, that I really enjoy.

I also really enjoy my audience, I'm really lucky in that respect. I know a lot of writers and YouTubers and other people who kind of on some level, like, they don't like their audience or they feel very different from their audience, so they feel like, it's a little bit of a performance, I guess, to make their work, like it's something that's pretty separate from them, from the way they think about themselves and their daily lives. Like, that isn't really the case for me, I'm really lucky to be a Nerdfighter, you know, to feel like the Nerdfighter community isn't something that's separate from me, it's something that I'm a part of.

Get there!! Aww. I love the commitment though. I love that Dicko commitment, that famous Dicko love for the ball. Speaking of love for the ball! Ah! Other John Green, and then another save! Guys on fire! Who are we playing today, by the way? Derby county? Derby county? The sheep? The rams? It's great, it's great- nothing scarier in this world than a sheep mascot! Nothing says "we're gonna beat you!" like "we're sheep!"

Um, so yeah, I- so the other day I was in the hospital. I'm gonna stop whining about this in about six months, I promise- but um, the other day I was coming out of the hospital, and I was like in a wheelchair, I was very weak, and um, it had been um- I was not offside! I was onside! Ahhh, what?! What?! What?! Come on! That red line and that yellow line are functionally identical. That was a great goal from Other John Green, in his new left winger spot. I thought it was a really good performance. Got er- anyway! I'm proud of you, Other John Green, even if you aren't ready to make your big announcement, whatever it is.

Um, so anyway, I was in the hospital and I was getting wheeled out of the hospital to go home, I was very weak and I had a very bad headache, and I was um- I was with my wife, she was pushing the chair and, somebody walked up to me and said "are you John Green?" and I said "yeahhh" and then they were like "can I get an autograph?" and I was like "yeah" and then they were like "can I get a selfie?" and I was like (unenthusiastic) "yeah?" but I didn't really wanna give a selfie because I didn't look that good because again, I was just getting out of the hospital and I felt kinda crappy and also like, you know, it's a little bit of a personal and private thing, being in the hospital. But in terms of being in public, if you're in public these days, for me, there are no personal, private things, really. Oh man, I was offside again! I'm so bad at being onside!

Um, and that's something that I've just had to get used to. Like, you know, it's gone from being, you know, sometimes a nerdfighter would recognize me in Target and come up and say hi and we'd get to talk for a minute, to, you know, being recognized by someone- many people who aren't nerdfighters, who don't know what the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys are, who just- who maybe don't even know that much about my work but just know that I'm someone who's kind of famous. Um, pretty much every time I go out. Like, pretty much every time I leave the house and go some place that isn't, you know, someone else's house. The grocery store or whatever. This isn't like an issue, um, I don't wanna make it sound like it's an issue. I have you know, I feel like I've dealt or I'm dealing pretty well with kind of like, social anxiety implications of it. The- but it can be challenging when I'm- like when I'm just not well or when I'm not feeling you know, there are times in your life when you're in public and you don't want to put on a brave face, or you're yelling at your kid or whatever. And erm, those times have become way more complex for me than they used to be. Like, much more difficult to navigate. Oooohh! Urgh. Devastating. Who was that? Who was that? Was that Francombstein? Was it Houdini? Anyway, it had nice curve on it but it was well over the bar, and then- obviously you should have passed to Dicko in that situation! Dicko's never gonna miss from inside the box. (sighs)

Thanks for watching the Wimbly Womblys. I know that- I know that you guys just patiently wait for moments like that, and then they come. Get it? Okay! Alright.

So thank you again. What was I talking about? What is today's video about? Who- what am I doing?! Sorry, I have meningitis. In my defense, I'm only gonna talk about it for another seven months.

Um, so anyway, like things like that are just hard, and like- I wanna be clear that I don't think that- it wasn't that guys fault, for coming up to me and saying hi. Like, I don't think that was rude of him, or that he- I don't think that, you know, people should be like "oooh that was so uncool", like I don't think it's that simple.

Oooh! But sometimes scoring a goal IS that simple when you have Houdini on your team! Who? Deeney! Who? Deeney! Who? Deeney! That's my- that's my new thing for him. I don't know if it's gonna work yet. Still- I'm still open to other ideas. Oh god, with the right foot, urgh, near corner. Can't stop, you can only hope to contain him and in that moment, Derby County, the mighty sheep failed to contain him. Outside of the right foot, God, that Deeney! What can't he do?! Ahh, it's like magic. (sings) We believe in- nope! Still not there. Still not there on the magic stuff.

Um, is there- are there any other songs about magic? People suggested some? I can't- I haven't been able to read comments really, because- I don't wanna make a big deal out of this, but my head hurts when I read, which is a huge pain in the ass, because it's like one of my number one hobbies.

So um, I guess that I would say that- I am more grateful than ever for the platform and the relationship that I have with my audience because I feel like it keeps me sane, it gives me work to do that I really enjoy, and it's a chance to like, connect meaningfully with people I really like, and I really find interesting. And that's lucky.

I do not like the famous part of being famous. But I also think that it will go away. Like, I think, you know, five years from now I'm still gonna be playing FIFA, and I think- I hope, some people will still be watching it, but I won't be, you know, like a proper, famous person anymore, because, you know, the movies of my books will have been made and like, my little- that little moment will have passed. Hopefully I'll still get to like, do stuff for people I like without having to sort of, be in a broader spotlight during it. Like, without having to receive broad attention from people outside that community.

Um, but yeah, what I was saying about that kid- like, I think a lot of times, people are like "oooh, that's so rude" and I mean, look, I wouldn't walk up to someone when they were in the hospital and ask for their autograph, or I certainly wouldn't ask for a picture, but I don't think that it's as simple as saying like "oh that's so rude"- like, um. You know, he- here's a kid who knows who I am, who likes stuff that I make and sees me and, you know, lives in Indianapolis, doesn't see people who make stuff he likes that often, randomly in the hospital, and- you know, said hi! I don't- that doesn't bother me inherently. It's just like, I wish that I were well so that I could you know, be- give him better experience or whatever, because now I'm worried that he's just gonna think that I'm like a jerk who- you know, was reluctant to give a sweaty, feverish selfie. And no, viral meningitis is not contagious, before you ask that. I mean, the virus- whatever the virus is, that you got the meningitis from, is obviously contagious, but doesn't lead to- it doesn't lead to meningitis in most people. Um, yeah- it's just bad luck! It's a crazy thing- but I mean, it's not that bad luck. Like, there are way worse kinds of luck to have, for sure.

Ohh, get there! Ahh. This is just- I feel like ever since- Meredith, I don't know if you feel this way. I feel like ever since the break, the meningitis, et cetera- how many times am I going to mention having had meningitis in Wimbly Wombly videos in the next month? What's the over under? Four hundred?

Um, anyway. I feel like since the break, I've been a little bit less of a player, and the team's been a little bit disorganized. I mean, certainly they had two weeks of practicing without me, that's never good for a club. Um, they need their manager there, I'm like their- I don't wanna brag, but I'm like their daddy, essentially. You know, like, I value them, I chastise them when appropriate, but I also- I give them lots and lots of love.

And I think- ahh! Oh my God, speaking of love! I love that goal! It's Dickooooooo! Sing me a song, Dicko! Oh, Dicko. Dicko, Dicko, Dicko! Dicko just- ohh, one times it, Dicko gets the ball right in the box and Dickooooo, Dickos! Look at that Dicko! God. I love the Dicko! I do, I love it. I love it, I love a good, hard Dicko goal! I love it. Just pound it in the back of the net! Awesome! God, I love Dicko so much.

I- I mean, he is overwhelmingly- and I don't even know that much about him Meredith, but he and Houdini have overwhelmingly become two of our favorite all-time Wimbly Wombly players! It's like Houdini, That's Amoura maybe, Seb Brown of course, he saved two penalties against Luton Town to send us into the football league, um, I- I've got some Wimbly Wombly love in my heart, but Houdini and Dicko, they've just got some magic together, don't you think?! I think they're special. I think they're special for our future. Um, and I just- I think Dicko especially is just- he's just phenomenal!

Come on- ohhhh! You know who made that save, Meredith? Amankwaa, Amankwaa- who came all the way from the AFC Wimbledon um- youth squad! We're signing our own players now, we're that good, we're that serious of a club. Because I believe in homegrown players, I always have. I believe that like, you know, what we really need, if we're gonna succeed, Wimbledon- oh!

Oh, Dicko! Dicko, and then the Gaulden Child had a great opportunity but he's only seven years old, so sometimes he can't close those out. He's just- he's only in second grade, for God's sakes. You know? I mean, it's hard. It's hard out there for a second grader playing with full-grown men. Oh that was a great- great steal! Oh, and then to John Green, and John Greeeeeeen, what are you doing John Green? Not your best work! Got to say, not your best work. Not your best work, but! Love everything else about ya. Love your heart. I love you! Not that I don't love you, just that that was a terrible, terrible cross.

Um, yeah, so I don't- the other thing that I was going to say is that I find it very weird that like, this is seen as the end of being a human. That like, this is seen as the goal- this being famous stuff. And like, it's not fulfilling, really! At least, it's not fulfilling in and of itself. Like, having- being able to have conversations, being able to have the platform is definitely fulfilling.

But like, I would never, ever, ever wanna be Kim Kardashian. I think Kim Kardashian works very hard and is very talented, but I would never want to be her! Because she has to be famous, like that's literally what she does for a living! Like, she has to be- that's the only way she has of making money, is being famous. And so- she's very good at it, but like, God- it would just be so exhausting!

So I- I, have a healthy and productive life, my friends! Don't- don't feel like it has to be a healthy and productive life that's acknowledged by millions and millions of other people. Um, that said, I am very grateful.

Thank you so much for watching! I just suddenly got seven thousand Instagram notices on my phone, all at once. So... Best wishes!