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Duration:07:40
Uploaded:2010-11-21
Last sync:2018-11-12 03:40
In which Hank cuts out a some boring stuff while finding electrical boxes in modern-day Italy.
Hank: Remember where we were last time! We were in the basement of the Auditore Villa, and here we are again! Resuming with my friend Dickhead!

What... do I have... did I miss something? Did I miss something? Is it one of these, is it one of these times when we're just going to do nothing for a long time, because if it is I'm just going to shut up and be like, "hey, Katie Bell, you wanna talk?" ...No? You don't? Paige Railstone? Do you wanna talk? No? You setting up the power connection? Wha - ? No? I'm gonna look at this?

(0:34)

We got our lights all set up with some power... yeah, see this is, this is boring. This is boring. This is what we call, "boring."

What is, uh... No, what, am I supposed to be following this guy? No, I'm following Dickhead. Following Dickhead, there was something I was supposed to do.

[mock British accent] Following Dickhead up the stairs. Me and Dickhead hangin' out, love to hang out with the Dickhead. He's my favorite. They decided to create a character in this game that you really freakin' hate.

[back to normal voice] Obviously they did think about the power because you have created a very... excellent... system. Or, okay, so we've got -- this is power? What's our plan? Using Eagle Vision?

(1:21)

Uh, nothing much here... Nothing really going on. I probably shoulda been payin' attention! That is the moral of this tale! Pay some freakin' attention.

What... are you? Where did Dickhead go? Where are you -- oh, do we need to do this, is this what -- oh. You couldn't'a done this, Dickhead?!

Shaun [in game]: Right, all around Monteriggioni are circuit boxes. Rebecca's little do-da's, they'll re-route small amounts-

Hank: [interrupting] I see.

Shaun: [continuing] of electricity to the power line underneath the villa. Don't ask me how they work. If I understood that I wouldn't be the fellow hiding in the van. 

Hank: Yes. I'm so glad that you have once in a while, uh, spent some time recognizing that you are not God's gift. Fantastic. Okay, I'm gonna go up to the top of this building here. Oh, some stuff has been built. That makes sense. Uh, for example, this thing [gears creaking] has been built, which makes perfect sense. Those are all over the place. Those are all over the place.

I do not see any off hand. None immediately obvious. Wow, they haven't- They've done a surprisingly small amount of repairs to this place. And, ah, grabby. Okay, good job. Good job. There's still freaking cannonball holes in the roof. For 500 years they've been there.

What am I on? What is this? Get off of it. I want to see it.

[British accent] World Preservation site. Built in 12-something, the Villa Auditore is one of the Tuscan countrysides most beloved landmarks. The key force, the protection of Monteriggioni for hundreds of years and a source of great architectural innovation. 

[Regular voice] And also assassins! You forgot to mention that it's a source of awesome assassins.

Hello. Hello little box thingies. Where are you at? Ah, ooh, ach [Hank makes up a wordless song for his character's movements]. I love it. This is cool. I love that you get to, like, see the transformation. That is awesome. 

Okay, there's no- there's no arrows. This is going to be boring and so, ah, I'm going to cut this part out. 

[jump cut]

I found my first one. I'm putting my device in it. [electrical noises]

[jump cut]

Another one. Zappity-do-bits. [electrical noises] Zippity-zappity. That makes perfect sense.

[jump cut]

Good thing science doesn't stand in the way of our video games. 

[gears turning]

Up-dup-woosh-sa-cow. 

[jump cut] 

[singing] I found another one.

[jump cut]

[regular voice] Okay, I have located all four of the electrical boxes. Suck sass. 

(4:10)

And- an- are we cut-scening straight to it? Okay. Just cut- We're not gonna make me walk all the way to the villa? That's nice. 

Desmond: I'm back. 

Hank: Thank you. 

Lucy: Just in time-

Hank: [interrupting] I'm back and I've done the work. 

Lucy: [continuing] The sun's rising. 

Rebecca: Yes! It's booted. We're good to go. 

Hank: It's totally booted. 

Shaun: Anyone miss me?  

Hank: Booted. No. 

Shaun: No? Anyone?

Hank: Dude! 

Shaun: Am I speaking out loud? Hello?

Hank: Adjust your attitude! 

Lucy: Let's get started. 

Hank: I didn't ask anyone if they missed me. Did I? Now we're gonna do a bunch of work and I'm not gonna have anything to do, right? Okay, that's cool. I'll just stand ri- What have you got here? This is cool. Nice little set-up. You guys are fancy. Hey, what's up?

Desmond: Do you have clue about those numbers under the drawing? 

Shaun: 1419. 1420. 

Hank: You know what you are? Is pretty smart. 

Shaun: 1421. Maybe something to do with the Hundred Years War. Or, wait... in 1419, Pope Martin V arrived in Florence, right? He left for Rome- 

Hank: [interrupting] Did you say Pokémon?

Shaun: [continuing] in 1420. 

Hank: Po-ke, Po-ke-Martin? 

Shaun: It was the same year Brunelleschi began building the Duomo. 

Hank: Poke. Poke Martin?

Shaun: And in 1421...

Hank: Yes? You're just full of shit. 

Shaun: 1421...

Hank: Nope, yup, you're just full of shit. 

Shaun: I'll have to do some more research, I think. 

Hank: Nah, no, good try. You seemed really smart there for a while. Um, I'm glad that I talked to you. No, I'm not. Katie Bell! 

Desmond: What are gonna do about Abstergo? 

Hank: What are we gonna do about this- 

Lucy: Wait it out. As soon as we find the Apple- 

Hank: -unrecognized sexual tension. 

Lucy: -I get in contact with our other cells in Europe, but as far as Italy goes, we're on our own. 

Hank: Not sure what that means. 

Shaun: It'd be nice to have some help from above. 

Lucy: Our top assassins are busy-

Hank: [interrupting] Who's above?

Lucy: [continuing] gathering info about the Templar satellite launch.

Hank: [interrupting] Right, right, right, right, right. I keep forgetting that we're a part of a bigger thing. 

Lucy: [continuing] We've been looking at several possible facilities in the U.S., China, and Russia, but there are no clear leads yet. 

Hank: You know, I keep saying this, but there, there, there are those crazy drawings that the crazy guy did, number 15? He did some Asian drawings. What I wanna see is some Japanese Assassins. Ack, let's just go ahead and call those ninjas. Assassin's Creed: Ninja. That is the game I want. Assassin's Creed 4: Ninja. Where is that game? I was expecting that long ago. 

Desmond: You seem focused. 

Rebecca: I've been busy patching new systems into baby here. It's only gonna get better. 

Hank: What is her accent?

Shaun: Is Desmond gonna be able to read his memories this time?

Hank: What? That- 

Rebecca: As a matter of fact, he will. 

Hank: What the frick? I'm gonna be able to remember memories while in the an-memory-members. You busy now? I'm just gonna stare at you. 

Desmond: You always a tech geek?

Rebecca: Nah, I was into sports. Then I broke my leg and started playing with computers. 

Hank: That's-

Rebecca: Who knew coding could be just as exhilarating as jumping on a board and dropping out of a helicopter. 

Hank: You- What? Ooh. I see. 

Shaun: Just FYI you might-

Hank: [interrupting] That's not what I thought you meant. 

Shaun: [continuing] wanna get your adrenal glands checked. You know, 'cause that, that is not normal. 

Hank: I agree. I agree with dickhead for once. Me and dickhead agree on something. Which is weird. Okay. Okay, Desmond. Let's get in the animus. That is what I want. Let us get in the animus and get back to Renaissance Italy because that is much cooler than where I'm at now. 

Sanctuary! Sanctuary! And that is actually the end of this video. We did not do much that was very interesting this time, but I guarantee you, I'm dropping my butt back into Renaissance Italy right now and then, but I will, but next time I will be there. I will be there and it will be awesome. I will see you then.