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In which hank ACTUALLY KILLS the Borgia Captain, instead of just almost killing him and then failing. Oh! And I throw him into a scaffold and light his tower on fire too, w00t!
Returned in order to kill the Borgia captain. I would very much like to kill the Borgia captain. Well...It would be better if there was a group of people walking through here so that I could blend in with them but there isn't, so I'm not going to go in right now, quite yet. Hello, group of people! Hello, anybody? Any groups of people. Ugh, come on! He dropped a box...he dropped a box! Don't give me a hard time about this. 

(00:33) Okay, that's great. That's wonderful. Oh now - Because I ran, you're all gonna try to kill me. That makes perfect sense. There's a lot of them after me now. There is a lot of them after me now. That is embarrassing. This is embarrassing me. Annnnd I think I'm gonna start off by stabbing you, and then stabbing your friend. Um, and it seems with that I have managed to.. I'm gonna switch to my new weapon - my stiletto - which should be interesting. Yup, sliced his throat. And sliced his throat, and that guy ran away. So, I understand. I understand why you would run away. Oh, come on. Come on!

(01:35) Oh, in the back! Alright, alright, now it's just you and me, you and me. And I'm gonna kick you, and I'm gonna grab you, and throw you into the scaffolding. And you are going to die. Because that's what I was supposed to do! Hells yes! I'm gonna be in this thing! This is how I party after a murder. I hide in haystacks. Is there somebody in here? Who knows? Who knows if there is somebody - oh yup, there is. Okay, there he is. 

(02:06) Annnnd, headed out to hang out with Machiavelli some more. And now we can have - oh God! - now we can h - oh! don't want to arouse suspicions. But...what? Come on! Why did I do that, then? I want a horse! Ignite the Borgia tower? That seems brave. I'm gonna go ignite the Borgia tower. Don't worry about me, I'm just climbing this building. Nobody worry. No reason to worry. No reason to worry. What, is that the Borgia tower? Is that? Can I get to it from here? Did I just climb a building for no reason? Ignite the Borgia tower? That just seems like pretty - ahhg ooh - oh god, I died. No, I didn't. Thought I was going to die falling a very long way.

(03:03) Wait, is that... Is this even the right way? Why am I doing this? This is the thing, that's the thing I needed to climb, okay. Climb the right thing, Hank. Climb the right thing. You are good at climbing, but you are bad at choosing the right thing to climb. Yes, good, there is more handholds over here. Climb it, Ezio. Climb it. That is your job. That is your one and only job. Well, no, you have two jobs. Climbing and killing. And you are good at both of them. You are very good at both of them. Excellent, excellent.

(03:44) Oh, what the frickedy frack! I just got shot by an arrow, ow, in the arm! It was - ahhhh - what? Whose decision was this? Faster, faster, Ezio, faster. Okay, okay. How do I ignite the Borgia tower? B. I press B to ignite the Borgia tower. Take that, I totally ignited your tower! Your tower has been ignitified! It is on figifire! And I'm walking away completely! 

(04:17) That, oh, well that is convenient. You're going to buy it? The whole stable? Or for purchasing horses? What, it is no - rebuilding around Borgia influence - oh, come on! I wanted to see that! Checkpoint reached. Hundred percent synced? That's right! That's right, cause I did that thing! This! Renovate the stable, renovate the stable, renovate the stable. Oh, it costs zero f's, then I will certainly do it. I will renovate the crap out of that stable. I'll renovate it a million times. 

(04:58) Oh, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful new stable. I did that, I did that all by myself! Why wouldn't I? I will accompany Machiavelli, that's the whole point of this game. Okay, press Y at any time to call a horse. *whistles* Oh, I held Y. Yeah, there actually is already a horse here, so I don't need to call a horse, so much. Niccolo! Where are you at, buddy? Where are you at, my buddy-booty? Booty-buddy, come here!

(05:34) Come - oh, yes, this seems dangerous. But, uh, okay. Cool. I'm fine with it. I'm fine. As long as we kill some people on the way. That guy, for example, underneath my horse's feet? Oh, not a cat. That thing is not a cat. There should be cats! Cats and chickens, more cute things. Cats, mostly. Cats are adorable. There should be adorable cats, and that would make this game more entertaining for me. That's all I ask! Adorable cats! That so much? It's not, not much at all.

(06:04) The eye icon on a database pop-up indicates that something mysterious from subject 16 may be located - aww shoot. I can't read that fast. Yes! You know how you - you know how you heal? With death! You heal with a blade, in your glove. Death glove. Oh, well, yeah. That's true. You have to kill - what's that? Yes, sure. That sounds good. Ohhhoho, you are so Machiavellian. That's right - hey! That's my money! Ugh, that's - that's a lame quest. Where is he? Where is he? This way. He stole a hundred of my f's! 

(07:06) *Hank makes mouth beat boxing noises* Got you, got you. General Patton has sent me a message. Oh, I got - I got extra money! I took my money back, and then I stole some of his. Excellent! General Pattond - Patent? That's not how you say that. Patton, sent me a message. It's exciting, um, because now people know my gamer name, my gamer tag, and so everyone knows who I am and I will be getting - where am I going? This seems - should I have gotten my horse? No, press Y. Not hold Y. Hello, horsey? Where did you come from? I hear you. Oh! There you are! Wow, you just come out of nowhere, don't you? 

(08:00) Okay, I can press B at any time - Y at any time and get a freaking horse. That is a useful skill. Going to make this game much faster in game play. Much faster - and I can go up stairs on a horse, cause the horse has no problems with that at all. And, now, is that Machiavelli? I did my thing, and let's talk. Let us speak. I did. And I did not liberate him from his life, which is - I didn't need to. Yes. Cesare - we didn't. Yes. We need to kill him! Kill him! Vinicio - what?

(08:45) Okay. I will, I will, but I think I may have to do that somewhat later than now. Cause, it is now time for me to end this video. Cause it is, it is already ten minutes. Thank you for hanging out with me once more and playing Assassin's Creed. I hope that I continue to be entertaining, and I will see you on the other side!