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In which Hank Rides a Unicorn, Kills some wolf-men, and yanks on the sparkly bits.
(0:00) Hello. I am now following Machiavelli and I am doing this because I'm actually replaying this mission because I wanted to show you the "Ride the Unicorn" cheat which I am now doing. And I am riding a unicorn. Hellz yes. And that's pretty easy to do if you were wondering. Once you get a cheat, there's actually just an Options menu and you go into the Options menu and you go to cheats and you turn "Ride the Unicorn" - apparently it's off. Ah which is interesting 'cause I'm on a unicorn right now. So appar- maybe I'm not cheating and I have some how tricked it into thinking that there are actual unicorns ahh and then I will always ride a unicorn from now on. Even if I don't have the cheat enabled. So that is excellent news ah for me ahh a guy who love unicorns. Machiavelli, you don't have a unicorn and I do. This is actually - I think i have discovered some kind of glitch because ah from what I can tell, riding the riding the unicorn is supposed to apply to all horses in the game, not just my horse. This is a beautiful unicorn by the way. I I love it. Um so yeah. That's what I'm doing. I'm riding the unicorn and I also wanna replay this mission because I kind of sucked it up and uh yeah.

(1:04) Machiavelli's talking. What place? What are we talking about? I don't - I I'm not cynical. I'm Machiavellien. Okay. Where we goin? Yes we do. We got alliiies. That is excellent news. Oop! That didn't - that didn't make sense. *confused sounds* Okay. Unicorn, follow him. I was trying to jump over this thing but I failed. And unicorn of trampling.

(1:37) oh no. No freakin way. Yes you are. He's working for me. And I do care. Oh, I do. Uh, sword sword, take out your sword, Hank. Stabby and stabby and stabby annnd stabby. Oh! How did I miss that guy? Who else, who else is out there? Where are you? Where - Where are you? Who is it? Oh! Where are you? There you are. What are you doing over here? Stabbed you. Excellent.

(2:15) Where is what? *disgruntled and confused sounds* Chase and tackle the Borgis carrier. Yes. RT and A. I am doing that. RT and A. I am doing that. And as soon as I get close enough I will freakin tackle him. Ohhh you're so tackled. I will stand on your body. You will rise through mine. That didn't make any sense at all.

(2:38) And because I am replaying my memory, I go to the DNA sequence, so I'll cut all this loading stuff out. So now I am replaying this memory. I have to deliever something to ah Machiavelli but there are wolves. There are wolves around and there is a waterfall over there. Did you see that? I think it was a - I think it was a broken aqueduct that still had water in it which seems like a bit of a waste. And there are wolf people. Wolf people. Jacob? Jacob is that you? My dear, my love? Jacob? Ohp! Nope, that is not Jacob. That is not Jacob. Okay. I'll just do this thing. 

(3:11) Ohp uh hey that. is. not. what. I. meant. to. have. happen. And I stab you. And then I stab you. And then I staab you. And ahh you got me from behind. Okay. Come at me. And then I stab you. And then a stab you. And then I stab you. No I don't. Come on, come on. I'm getting better at counter-kills. Ahh I did not realize that there was such an intricate system of, ah, countering and - oh god! Why do you always come from behind? And then - oh, what was that? Oh, you were throwing dirt.

(3:52) That's not what I wanted to do.  And then--and you are not dead.  You are not dead.  I'm gonna kick you, I'm gonna kick you, I'm gonna kick you, I'm gonna kick you, I'm gonna kick you, I'm gonna kick you, I'm gonna kick you, until you die.  

[Voice over: Where did these murderers come from?]

Where did these murderers come from?  They are annoying.  I have to search the lairs of the followers of Romulus, who wear wolf skins, despite the fact that they follow Romulus.  They should... they should... know better than to be killing wolves, and putting their skins on their skin. Uh, because they should be worshipping wolves and not killing them, 'cause there aren't very many wolves left in Italy because they were all killed, uh, during the middle ages.

(4:32) Okay, I've kicked up some stuff, great, and I headed down it, and now I am in the, uh, underground catacombs- halls of nero. I am in the Halls of Nero and I shall accept this mission to go and climb around a lot to get to the sparkly parts and flip switches because this game is sort of half Zelda, half death killing man.

(4:57) So, yes. Find a way into the underground ruins. Um, I'm pretty sure that I should just go to the sparkly places, and that will take me to the underground ruins. So, what? Oh! That... Why did... That was close. I thought I jumped straight at it. Uhm, yes. So this is going to be fairly easy. I've done this before, so if I screw up, that'll just be embarassing. Uhm. Yeah, so, I'm replaying all of these memories because I wanted to show you the ride the unicorn, and uh, yeah. That... That is the only reason why I'm doing this. And I hope you enjoyed seeing me ride a unicorn, because I had to replay all of these memories, uh, in order to get a video of it.

(5:40) So, pull it and close it down. Excellent. Okay, good job. Now we've got the second head. The second head is spitting water. And it is filling up now. I don't know why it doesn't just fill up now. Kenny172 wants me to join an Xbox Live Party, but I am busy right now. Sorry Kenny.

(5:58) Jumpy jumpy. Now I have to go across here to get to the next one. Jump on that. Do a pull-up because that's no problem. I can do pull-ups. No I can't. Not in real life. But Ezio can. Interact. And not entire- I don't remem-... Okay right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Um, yeah. So there are these gods spitting water into a pool, and that is going to open a door for me.

(6:26) Um, jumpy and jumpy, woah. I did not mean to jump that way, but good thing there was a hand-hold, and climbing across, doing the Ezio spiderman thing. (Sings) Ezio, Ezio, goes where ever a spider can. Is he man? Is he awesome? He's got radioactive blood. Hey there! There goes the Ezio.

(6:50) Uhm, so now it is full and the switch will be flipped and the door will open. Or, maybe the entire thing will collapse, and that's just a really unelegant way of opening up the catacomb, my friend. I just gotta say. Uhm, so now I shall explore the catacomb and dive into it and now here I- and there are more followers of Lupus and I am in the catacomb, and that, my friends, is where this video will end. Thank you for watching, and you will hear my beautiful voice next time.