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Duration:10:21
Uploaded:2011-04-18
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Yes, we did skip some. There was an incident and GlaDOS infiltrated my networked hard drive and deleted about 10 minutes of me playing Portal. SO EVIL!
Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. Last time on Hank Green plays Portal I found myself in a room full of giant crushy pistons and I needed to get through it.

(0:10) So I've just formed a portal that will allow me to hopefully do just that. Yes, am I going to die now? Where am I? What's going on? Hello? Portal sign. I did it! That was surprisingly, I did that surprisingly well. I thought that that was going to go much worse. 

(0:32) Okay, that's the room I was just in with the the crushy pistons. There's the fan. This says I should go this way. This way? There's nothing this way. Oh, there is something this way. Okay. Of course there is there's al - aah, I don't like that goo! Why is the goo everywhere? Why do they make more goo? They should not make more goo, they should - there should be not - aah, aah!

(1:03) I don't know where I'm going, but everywhere looks - oh, I guess I just have to fall onto this. (GLaDOS: You should have turned left before. It's funny, actually, when you think about it.) You're talking. It's not funny GLaDOS, it's never funny.

(1:28) Where am I going? I'm going there. So I have to get on to this thing while it's there. But how do I get onto it? That's too far to jump. That's too far to jump! And how do I know when that thing is there and not there? Oh, I can see it, of course.

(1:55) Yup. I'm smart! I'm so smart, oh my God that was hard but I did it the first try! Okay, it wants me to go down. My friend with the pointing of the arrows wants me to go down. Okay. Loading, loading. We are continuing our trip into the depths of Aperture Science. I know that we don't want to go in more, we would rather go out, but we are going in. So that's what we're doing.

(2:23) What's this? What is it? Just a storage room? Just a creepy storage room? That's all? Some cans, a man writing help, beans. He's got beans. I don't know where he found beans, but he did. It was probably during the better days of Aperture Science when there were people here.

(2:46) Right, these pistons appear to be stationery, which is nice. I like it when pistons are stationery. Aaah, they stopped being stationery. Why do they do that? No one told me that was going to happen. Aaah!

(3:06) Oh are you serious? Whoa. Aaaah! Aaah! Huuuuu. I was not fast enough. Oh man. I was not fast enough. I definitely spent way too much time thinking about that. I was like "what should I do?". I should wait. 

(3:39) Is this the first one that opens? Nope, nope, it's not. (Turret: I don't hate you) I don't hate you either. I hate your programmers. (Turret: Put me down!) Yes, I will put you down.

(4:00) Look at my blood all over the walls. (Turret: Who are you?) Who am I? That's a good question. I don't even need to kill you, do i? Because this is the way I go. How do I get there though?

(4:19) There was a moment when my portal thing - yes! Aah! (GLaDOS: You're not a good person, you know that, right?) So now you're trying that angle, which is also not going to work for you. (GLaDOS: Can you hear me?) Yes, I can, but your panic at thinking that I may not be able to is giving away your childish desire for me to - wait, that's where I came from.

(4:52) Clearly, that's where I came from. Isn't it. I think? I don't know. I thought I came from there. What's going on? I'm confused. I guess I should go that way. (Turret: Critical error) Critical error.

(5:22) Oh balls! What? Woah, woah, woah, this is opening. Okay. We are continuing deep into the depths of Portal. I don't know what I'm doing. I think that I need to make a portal here, and somehow shoot myself out of that.

(5:54) So I need to get some height somehow. Where the - where's the height? Any height? I don't see a lot of height. This is not going to do it. Oh, are you serious? That's how I do this? Okay. Go again. Yes!

(6:12) Just a double momentum push, that's all I needed. You don't need height in Portal, there's infinite height everywhere. Everything has infinite height as long as there's a portable floor.

(6:24) (GLaDOS: ...It didn't have to be like this) No it didn't, I could have died. How about, I install a computer virus? (GLaDOS: ...I'm going to kill you...) I know you're going to kill me. Why did - why aren't they letting me bring stuff through there? There's like a, probably some reason why they don't let you bring stuff through there, but I don't know what it is. 

(6:48) So I'm just going to go through. What's that? What's that thing? Oh, it's a thing. It's a - what is it? Is it a - ah, waaa! Right, right. I have to use you to break things. You're my little breaky thing friend. Okay. Thanks for breaking things for me, little breaky friend.

(7:23) Um, over here, he says. So now, comes in handy the fact that I've played this before. I remember how to do this. I need to create a portal - aah, shoot. It worked! I totally did it first try! 

(7:47) Over here. Okay. I go where you tell me to go, friend. We are friends. I don't see how to get through there though. That's not, I can't use it, I can't use my portal gun. Can I jump into that? I don't think so. It looks way too high to jump into, despite the fact that I have robotic legs. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. How do I do that?

(8:27) He says over here, he says. He says it so convincingly. Ah, maybe I need to get my friend to break this, this thing and a cube will fall out of it and I will be able to use the cube. Wait, what color did I make that? Yellow. Yea! Did you break it? You did! That was so nice of you. Thank you! That is what cubes are for. Cube cube cube!

(9:08) See, this game is so good! Ah! This is like, do not fall situation. What, where am - that's where I came from, that's where I'm going. Ah! There we go. Alright.

(9:38) And it just, it feels like it makes sense, like it's not being created for me, but that it is actually the system, as it needs to be. Um, and yeah, not some. not some constructed reality. Uh, but, as if I'm actually solving the problem that seems intractable. 

(10:02) So we're loading now. Um, and I want to go ahead and end this episode of Hank plays Portal because, uh, I am a little bit frightened of where I am going to go next. So you will not see me and I will not see you next time on Hank Green plays Portal. Goodbye.