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Duration:01:38
Uploaded:2014-04-18
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Do people ever say terrible things about you online? Find out what this best-selling author does when negative comments hurt his feelings.

http://www.bystanderrevolution.org
It's really hard to deal with negativity on the internet because everyone's sort of anonymous in a way and somehow it's easier to say terrible things about people when you don't have to look at them. But those terrible things are still really really hurtful and even though I'm 36 years old and reasonably confident I get my feelings hurt on the internet all the time. And I often will go to my wife and say "This person said a terrible terrible thing about me and I have to tell you about it." And she'll say "Well who is the person?" And I'll say "You know, it's, um, you know, roadteam8640." She says "Who is that?" And I say "I don't know but look at this terrible thing that she or he said about me."

The thing I would say is that what those people say about you does not reflect reality. Those... What people, what people who are bullying you online are saying is not about you, it's about them. It is not about your problems, it's about their problems. They're doing that because they're deeply afraid and they're deeply ashamed and they have, you know, lots of problems and fears that are controlling their lives and making them behave that way. They're not proud of it, you know, and, but it's really hard to internalize that but all I can say is do try to internalize that. Listen to that voice, that true voice inside of you that says "This is not about me. I am not a bad person just because these people are saying bad things about me."