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I'm a KILLER!!
And we're back! Um, while you were gone, I, uh, did some stuff, and it broke, and I didn't get any footage because I had a frame rate overcompensation of I don't, I don't know. Uh, but, yes, but I did some things while my frame rate was broken and those things included delivering flowers for a young lady, to my own party, by the way. She did not know who I was, it was very noble of me and she was shocked to discover that I was the famous Ezio Auditore. And I found a guy's horse, Mario's horse, and I found it for a guy who was scared he was going to get killed by Mario because he lost Mario's favorite horse. So I caught a horse and, where is the place I'm supposed to be? I caught a horse and I delivered flowers and that is all you missed. I think we're sort of setting Ezio up to be like "hey, look, I'm done with my journeys, my trials and tribulations are now over and-" I missed the gate- "and now, success, I can be a normal guy and now all I have to do is-" whoa, what the frick? What, that's cool! That was cool, that was new, that's a new thing that they, that's a new, wha- oh-ho I will take that! That, I enjoyed. And he's going to hope that he can live a normal life now, but he can't live a normal life under the ominous sky, but he can't live a normal life because something, something is going to happen. He can't just deliver flowers and find horses all day. Press Y to talk. Yes, I will, I will do that. You almost killed me with them earlier! Also, that happened. I don't know if you missed that. Ah, ok, I will do it! Why isn't it up to you to just figure it out? You're smart. Where's your Leonardo, you're good friends with Leonardo da Vinci, just give him a call. Give him a call on your cellular phone. Of course, of course. Do the lifts take me downwards as well as upwards? Do they? Do they? Do you? Do you? Do you? How do you, how do you do that? Can I jump off of you? Probably not. Probably not. Doesn't look promising. I'm gonna try. Ahhhh. Ooh, it hurt. Well I, good, I did it, but it hurt. That was a long way. I'm sorry, sorry, this is distracting. Ok, ok, let's try to go in straight, pretty lines that you will enjoy instead of feel nauseous while watching. Ok, where am I going? Back to the, I, I, I'm going to the wall? Why didn't I pay attention and not jump off of the wall in the first place? Why didn't, why didn't I? Is he on the wall, or is he... where is he? Is he here? No, not here, he is up, oh wait, wait, there's a thing there. Is that what I want? Uh oh. Are you drunk? What are you doing? Screw you! I have digestive difficulties! You make excuses, is what you make. I'll touch your cannon all day long, that came out wrong... Ok, eat my poo! Shut up, we're going to a thing. Oh! Woah, woah, woah, sorry! Speed it up, I will punch you! I got things. Oh yeah, you're so good. What? That doesn't sound good. Whaaat? Imagine... I believe I've used those before as Ezio, um, so you are in the past. It's like being really excited that you invented the iPod in 2010. Ok, here's your cannon. Fix it, or I'll fucking stab you in the brain! Ok, I'm a brainstabber. There. What, screw you! Aw, geez. Yes, well, he's a drunkee. Ok, now, can I try it? Aw, I can try it, that is exciting, I will try it. Press B to use the cannons! Oh. Aw. Ooh. Ok. The control is backwards from what I expected. RT to fire, as if- what, that was intense! That was, that was graphically intense. Ok, ok, ok and firing a gun! Oh, I missed? That's bull! That is honky! Ok, got that one. Fill me up! Ok, this is maybe- I only have to get 5, I only have to get 5. You, you, dajaboo! I will never miss again! Going back the other way because it takes a while and I want to clump it. Clump it, clump it, everybody's clumping it. Pachakow, I'm good at this. I'm glad that they created this very effective targeting system, heads up display targeting system in renaissance Italy. Yes I did, thank you much! That's right. What, what are we doing now? What, we have to do it again? I figured it out! Ok, I like to sleep at dawn. That's great. Aw, the neighbors. Practicing the cannon again. Trying to sleep here... Ok, are we done? Double triangle, checkpoint reached! Where do I go now? Where am I? Where is the ground? It's far away. I want to take the thing down. Downward, down, downy powny wowny. Ok, this looks promising. Can I- Oh it's a ladder, excellent. Ohh, that, too bad... Oh geez, glad I didn't die, I pushed the wrong button now there, didn't die. Yes indeedy, deedily, doodily, hit the wrong one. Hello, are you my pregnant friend from before? Oh, sorry! Oh, god, I'm running- oh, I just hit a pregnant woman. Yes, good for you. I almost died earlier, that was embarrassing, jumping off of the city walls, but I'm doing fine now. What? What is that? Is that a car? Ok. Is it like a bicycle? An allegiance plane? Oh, hi mom. It's good to see you. I remember earlier, I watched you give birth to me. You look roughly exactly the same. Machiavelli? I don't know if we should trust this guy. Oh, we're telling the story? I did. He was a chummer. You took the apple, did you not? Oh, Minerva, ok. So that's not Christian. You're going to hell. Come on, you live in the heart of Catholicism, you can't have goddess Minervas. He is, he's me! But is it Desmond that she's talking to, or is it me, Hank Green, they player of the video game that's been created by space aliens? That's how I feel. That's what I'm feeling. Did she appear pagan? Because you're going to hell. Ooh, the magic, all night long. They're buried, in my pants. Did he bake forgiveness? Like a forgiveness cake? What, no. I did not give him chess. I stabbed him in heart. What? What? I don't remember that. This guy has a bull on his chest. Velveteen bull. That actually looks like the logo of the Chicago bulls. My outfit is way better than yours. Hey, Mario. Yup, I'm not worried about Machiavelli. And thus, we have reached the end of this cut scene. I'm walking away... staticky to whiteness to diamonds. And now I must end this episode of Hank plays Brotherhood Assassins Creed 2.0 because otherwise I will not be able to export this. Thank you and I will see you next time, where I will be doing something else.