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In which many goals are scored. I recommend you turn your volume down now...

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Oh oh oh oh oh oh! What's my first question? Ohhh! Get out of my way!

But 0 to 30. It's like the f- Ohhh! Hells Pells.

But I worry that maybe I'm just not a- oh! Oh my goodness gracious!

What I look for when signing players? Uhm, I used to look for like, are they gingers and do they have funny names.

It's a place. Ohhh! Wow!

I thank them. I congratulate- Ohhh!

Let me tell you the truth. Ohhh!

And then his husband. And then! Yes! Finally! Ohhh! It's Francombstein! [Sings] He did the mash. He did the monster mash. The monster mash. That's all I got.

And I mean, are there any other pets? Like what, a turtle, a pot-belly pig? I'm not interested in these things. I like things that pee outside.

Oh oh oh oh! Is it going to be here in the last second? Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! It's Less Moore! He scores with his left. He scores with his right. Less Moore makes his brother Some Moore look shite. Less Moore!

What a beautiful pass. And a great finish.

Ball in the box. It's a beauty! Ohhh! It's Moura!

If Henry gets mad at me, I'll explain that it's for work. Uhm sorry, Henry, I am a professional Sing-A-Ma-Jig player and, you know, that's just who I am.

Ya ya ya ya ya Bamba! Oh! YA YA YA YA YA BAMBA!

...their kids and lots of other concerns- Oh! The Gaulden Child. Oh no! It's Kaz! I have so many tiny little midfielders. It's hard to keep track of which tiny little midfielder has scored.

It's beautif- Far post! Oh! [Sings] Bald John Green, John Green, he gives it all for the team, upon his mustache- I... I started an octave too high- we're keen. Bald John Green, John Green. I got there at the very end.

Ya Bamba, Ya Bamba, Ya Bamba! Yaaaa! Is it my birthday?

Oh! It's a great opportunity. He must score and he does!

Yes! YES! Oh my god!

If I was a unicorn what color horn would I have? That's a very personal question.

...that we have. Oh! It has to be and it is!

...that you guys a- Ohhh!

Clearly unfair. Oh!

Let's start with Gatsby, which I wrote a paper about once, and I was like, these are just a bunch of Yankees with Yankee problems.

You don't want to get in an actual fight- it's gotta be and it is! It is!

And, uhm, it mattered to each of them for a different reason, but it really mattered to all of them. Uhm, okay. Guess what just happened. Guess what just happened. We scored.

Have you ever thought about how... the fact that Hugh Jackman's name kind of makes you... kind of is very similar to Huge Assman?

Oh! oh oh oh ohhh! [Sings] He scores in the loo, he scores with a shoe, green eggs and Sheringham, he just scored on you.

Oh! We did it! [Sings] We are the champions my friends. We did it! Sit in shame, sir. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you had to lose. But there can only be one winner, and today it's AFC Wimbledon.