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Last sync:2022-11-19 06:00
Wherein our heroes search The Cave Of Wonders to do battle with Weiserclaw, King of Bears.

This video features:

Khyan Mansley:
Hank Green:
Michael Aranda: Hello.  This is my friend Khyan.

Khyan: Pip-pip-cheerio.

Michael: He is from a place called England, where they talk kinda funny.  So I have provided subtitles for your convenience. 

Khyan: Sod off, you wanker. 

(Arandavision Intro plays)

(sound of rainfall, blurred voices)

Hank: There's some hail.

Michael: It's hailing.  Why is it hailing?

Katherine: What do you mean, why is it hailing?

Michael: It's just--it's too warm to be hailing right now. 

Hank: No!  It hails in Florida.

Michael: These are pretty big.  Noo, Hank, what are you doing?  It's not worth it. 

Hank: It's coming really fast. 

Katherine: Ohh, that one hit you right in the head.  Right in the head.

Michael: How's it going, Khyan? 

Khyan: I'm fine.  I've got my Burberry umbrella.

Michael: Welcome to Missoula, Montana.  We're gonna go up to this M that I had the, uh, the city install on the mountain for Michael.  We're gonna go view its construction quality and make sure it's all up to par.  We just made it up, one (?~1:11) and uh, I'm not tired at all.  Don't you think it would be better if this was barbed wire, so that if someone slips and they're, you know, falling down the mountain, it has a better chance to catch them and keep them from going all the way down? 

Khyan: And just kill, kill people off who are sloppy with their footing. 

Michael: We are doing something so American, I don't even know if I've ever done it before. 

Khyan: Do you feel more, more patriotic for it?

Michael: A little bit, yeah.

Khyan: Good.  You look more handsome for it as well. 

Michael: This is, uh, day six with no food or water.  My estimates say that we are uh, roughly halfway up the mountain.

Khyan: I tried to go back down the mountain but Michael threw himself in my path.  He said, "We're going to the top, or we're not going back at all."

(Baseball game in progress)


Michael: Finally, after weeks on the trail, we have arrived at the M.  It maybe looks a little...a little more mis-shapen than I would have liked for my money, but--

Khyan: LVL. 

Michael: LVL?

Khyan: That's what it looks more like from here. 

Michael: Oh.  Yeah.  L...V...L.  Level.  Level complete.  I bet there's all kinds of fun goodies hidden under the M.

Khyan: I'm kind of regretting that the last thing I ate was a Twix.

Michael: I think Missoula looks nice from above.  Got some university stuff right there, got some white stuff up there, nice downtown stuff, some bridgy stuff.

Khyan: I like the stuff.

Michael: Some watery stuff in the middle.  Some mountainy stuff, a flying stuff.  Well, Khyan, we made it to the M.  

Khyan: It wasn't worth it. 

Michael: Should we--

Khyan: This piece of shit town. 

Michael: Should we go higher? 

Khyan: Let's just get the fuck down.

Michael:--or call it quits?

Khyan: I'm calling this town quits, I'm out of here, flyin' out.

Michael: Khyan quits.

Khyan: I'm off-put by this view.

Michael: It is rather horrid.

Khyan: Where is my cement jungle? 

Michael: Hopefully you'll have a chance to visit Los Angeles.  Then you'll be like, yes, this is the cement jungle.

Khyan: Yes!

(Baseball dance party)

Michael: Somebody spilled green, yellow, and red paint all over my M. 

Khyan: It was not me, I swear. 

Michael: Yeah, I've discovered a fuzzy cuddle-plant.  It's probably a new species. 

Khyan: Good cuddle.

Michael: We met a guy who told us to look for a flower called bitterroot.  Which is the Montana state flower.  He told us to go this way and we'd see it 'cause it's bright magenta, but--

Khyan: We haven't factored in that he might be a liar. 

Michael: Yes, I'm becoming concerned that maybe he sent us this way because it's a trap.

Khyan: The flower was a red herring all along. 

Michael: What if the flower actually turns out to be a red fish?

Khyan: Or a bear?

Michael: Is it you?  Are you a bitterroot?  Did I come all this way for you, little flower?  I'll be honest.  After the way that guy was talking about them, that's slightly underwhelming.

Khyan: Yeah.  I think he doesn't have a television, so...anything he seems, it's like, whoaaaaa, oh my god, I've never seen that color before! 

Michael: We have just discovered a cave.

Khyan: If Skyrim is anything to go by, there are some bandits in there, and they have treasure.

Michael: Whoa, there's a draft coming through here. 

Khyan: Hopefully not get eaten by a bear.

Michael: This is weird. 

Khyan: I think that's bear language.  Level of fear, Michael? 

Michael: Right here?  It's--it's not--not uh, not substantial. 

Khyan: Mine's at eight out of ten.  I've just shit myself. 

Michael: I should have brought a gun.  I don't own a gun.  I should have bought a gun.  I don't think I wanna go any further because I don't want to chance walking in on a sleeping bear and her cubs.  Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-whoo!  It's like being born.

Khyan: Bit drier though.

Michael: Would you rather you be attacked by that spider or by the bear that lives in this cave?

Khyan: Well.  I've leveled up in bear-fighting skills a lot more, so I reckon I could take it.  There's a spider that'll get into your pants leg when you're asleep and do all kinds of damage.  You won't know 'til morning. 

Michael: And then you'll never be able to have babies again.  Or in the first place.  You think Nathan and Anne are still together? 

Khyan: Well, it's in stone.  That's better than Facebook official. 

Michael: After much careful scientific analysis, I have concluded that descending the mountain is easier.  We made it up and down the mountain. 

Khyan: We are mountain men.

Michael: How do you feel? 

Khyan: I feel like I--I'd like to be held.  You know?  Maybe be you.  If you're game. 

Michael: Mm...hmm...

Khyan: We've been through a lot!  I watched Brokeback Mountain, where's our cuddles?

Michael: Hey, hey, butterfly.  Butterfly.  Where'd you go?  Hey.  Hey, butterfly. 

(Musical montage)