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Edited by Tim Thomas


Hank: Hello, and welcome to Hank and Katherine on Games with Hank.  This is Wii Wednesdays, we're playing Super Mario World 3D World 3D, and we have 30 stars, and need to go back into the fenceland of Chain-Linktopia to try and conquer its nefarious ways with our kitty claws. 

Katherine: Yeah, we've gotta have a kitty.

Hank: Oh, you've gotta have a kitty.

Katherine: Kitty is key.

Hank: Kitty is key.

Katherine: Sorry, I'm sitting on my bad ankle.

 World 3-2 Chain Link Charge (0:33)

Hank: Kitty claws are key.  Alright, World 3-2, Chain-Link Charge. I'm pushing!

Katherine: One of us has to get it.

Hank: Oh, only one kitty.  (death grumbles)

Katherine: (laughs) What?!

Hank: Well, then I just committed suicide.  I just couldn't live--

Katherine: I forget how to jump sometimes.  shoo, y'all, I was like, on top of that one fence.

Hank: Aw man. 

Katherine: Being first is more challenging.

Hank: You do have a more challenging-- ferg. feeeerg.

Katherine: No kitty! No no no! (cackles)

Hank: You got that star, baby.

Katherine: I was--

Hank: You got it!

Katherine: I was holding on and then I like, did a fancy dance and, uh... (? 1:29)

Hank: Oh good you got a kitty, anyway. 

Katherine: Hooray. Sorry. Oh, it turned out OK, you're fine

Hank: Yes, I'm fine.

Katherine: Everyone's fine! I need to--

Hank: You need to let it scroll.

Katherine: --work on my precision. So run... Jump. That didn't work! That was not it!

Katherine: That was not my precision! OK. Phew.

Hank: (goofy yelling)

Katherine: You got it you got it you got it! You're still here, come on!

Hank: Come on come on come on! (death gargles)

Katherine: I had to keep going cuz... uh, reasons.

Hank: (sigh) Are you gonna try this? (Katherine laughs) Yeah. I can't jump that. You gotta be a kitty to do that.

Katherine: Yeah, you gotta be a kitty to do that. I forgot how important-- maybe if I could do the divey thing?

Hank: Maybe oh I forgot-- whoa, kitty bells!

Katherine: Meow meow

Hank: Oh god, oh god. I thought I was you!

Katherine: No, I'm the one that's just jumping off into nothingness.

Hank: uh, kitty, get it! NO! (Katherine laughs evilly) God dang it! What happened? I had it!

Katherine: (laughs) You just gotta keep pushing it.

Hank: They're giving us--

Katherine: They're like "uh, you guys..."

Hank: I don't want these! I want super power kitty

Katherine: This is a kitty, basically, except better. The problem is I don't know which one I am cuz we're both the same.

Hank: Well I think I died. What the what!? How did that happen? What a fricking-- you can't do it without a kitty. What the-- Why do I even keep coming back!? What am I doing? Why am I even trying?

Katherine: aww, it's OK.

Hank: I can't believe we just went through nine lives at this. There you go. Nice. I can't come back 

Katherine: It's so hard you guys-- 

Hank: Because I used all my lives. 

Katherine: --with this invincible raccoon

Hank: It's so hard to be an invincible raccoon.

Katherine: So hard with this invincible raccoon.

Hank: Good job.  You can't do it, 'cause I have to be there to help the kitty. You just gotta jump it.

Katherine: OK I'll just use my Luigi power. (they both laugh)

Hank: That was good Luigi power, Katherine. Oh man, I feel really--

Katherine: Embarrassed?

Hank: Yeah. 

Katherine: Yes.

Hank: Unaccomplished.

Katherine: It's--the thing is that we--ah, we're not good at game.

Hank: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Katherine: Yeah, you should probably be aware of that.

Hank: Definitely not good at game.

Katherine: --if watching this show,

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: don't expect us to be good.

Hank: You now get to go on without me.

Katherine: Oh my god. But I can't, because I--

Hank: Oh, I get to--I got reincarnated with 5 ups! 

Katherine: Well, that's--that's--that's nice.  For you.

Hank: That is nice for me.

Katherine: What's the circus tent?

Hank: The circus tent...

Katherine: Boink!

Hank: Just put it right in my butt.

Katherine: Seriously, just jump right onto that.  Ooh, hey. 

Hank: Who got it?  Who got it?

Katherine: I think you did.

Hank: I think you did.

Katherine: As usual.

Hank: I think I bounced you into it.  No need to--what--why--what was that for?  What  are you doing up there? 

Katherine:  Oh. There were birds.

Hank: It feels very Assassin's Creed to me. I gotta go over here and then I-- (karate noises)

Katherine: (karate noises)

Hank: and then you're like "Now I can see the scroll of da Vinci. (to Cameo) Come on up. Is the cat gonna finally make an appearance? We've talked about the cat so much in previous episodes and you never got to see her, but is she going to decide to grace us with her presence? She is. She is, you can see her tail a little bit.

Katherine: Her face, you can see her face.

Hank: Yeah, there it is. Come here kitty, come here.

Katherine: Don't ever make the can do so-- what she doesn't want to do, that's the certain way of getting her go away. Come on.  Come here, psst, psst.  Yeah.

Hank: Hi. Yes. 

Katherine: Sounds like who's sitting on the couch together? 

Hank: Yeah, you and me.

Katherine: Okay, let's do that.  Are you guys going to yell?

Hank: Yeah, we're going to yell.

Katherine: Why?  I don't like that. 

Hank: I know.

Katherine: Take us to the pink.

Hank: Yeah, pink.  Big rock candy mountain!

 World 3-4 Pretty Plaza Panic (6:21)

Hank: Pretty Plastic Panic.  That's not what that--ooh, ooh!  PANIC!  PRETTY PANIIIIIC.  I missed it, I missed it, there was--there was a Goomba, it wasn't worth it!  Oh, what?  

Katherine: I died.  I died.

Hank: I killed that thing.

Katherine: You did.  Keep going, baby, you're a champion.  This is the thing where I panic.

Hank: Well, I got some extra time. 

Katherine: Turns out I can't come out of the bubble now, oh nooo! 

Hank: Where did you bubble to?

Katherine: It was over--I was over air of death.  You know, the way that--

Hank: Death air.

Katherine: Whoaaaaoaaaaooooaaaah

Hank: I think I got it. 

Katherine: Nope.  Sugar!

Hank: Why did I--yeah, why did I go on that one? 

Katherine: Why did I jump?  Why would I jump? 

Hank: Well, I almost went with you, but I--I didn't. 

Katherine: So bad at this kind of thing.

Hank: Where are you going?  No Goombas, no! 

Katherine: So much panic.  Why?

Hank: Oh, there's plenty of time.  Where are you going? 

Katherine: Trying to get back to the beginning, 'cause that's (?-8:00)

Hank: (?-8:01) You're just bonking your head too much, you're like, you can't handle it.  Okay, I got--I think I have to go, we've got--we've only got--whoa, you can do it forever?  Okay, I've got--gotta go.  Why you go so faaaar, I don't understand how you jump so far! 

Katherine: Okay.

Hank: Does Luigi just jump farther? 

Katherine: Yes!

Hank: OH! That makes sense now! What can Mario do that's so special?

Katherine: I don't know, I think he's like--

Hank: Runs faster?

Katherine: --fast or something.  He's uh--I have no idea how that happened.

Hank: I don't either.

Katherine: Cuz I--

Hank: You did good.

Katherine: No. 

Hank: Not so sure about that.

Katherine: Definition of good and did.  What's over there on the right?

Hank: Who is this in our path?  Oh, I decided just to jump on that.

 World 3-A Magikoopa Blockade (8:55)

Hank: I thought I was gonna jump on it and hu--and like, land on its head and hurt it, like you usually do.  Magikoopa what now? 

Katherine: Blockade.

Hank: Okay.  Do I jump on your head?  Oh, you disappeared.  We got it.  You got 5,000 points for your crown. 

Katherine: Oh, good. Good thing.

Hank: I don't--does anyone win this one?  I guess some--I guess we do.  I guess there's a winner.  It's probably going to be you, with your crown.  Nope, it's gonna be me.

Katherine: Cuz you got the star.

Hank: Cuz I'm awesome.

Katherine: Also you killed two of them.

Hank: I killed two of them, yes.

Katherine: I only killed one. I wanted to see what was there, to the right of the boo house.

Hank: Oh, there are some very, very pretty crystal castles. 

Katherine: No, no, no, see, there's a little path.

Hank: Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Katherine: OK well that's-- let's get over there, I want to get it.

Katherine: The place with the toad.  The Toad Miner. He's so frantic.

Hank: The Toad Miner.  He's very frantic.  Oh, to be single player. Who plays single player Mario?

Katherine: We're cooperative--

Hank: Yeah, we're friends.

Katherine: ==peoples. You can write it right in the middle of the shot there. 

Hank: IIII--it's fine. It's fine the way it is. We can go back and fight him again, maybe? I don't know. What's this?

Katherine:  You know what it is, it's a thing.

Hank: Gotta play the looooooottery. ok, come over with me.

Katherine: Alright. How do we jump?

Hank: one, two, three, jump.

Katherine: wait wait wait wait no I mean like which button? OK. (they laugh) Just checking. Just checking. OK

Hank: One, two, three jump. awwww.

Katherine: I was-- I'm short.

Hank: Oh, yeah, maybe you're short.

Katherine: I'm short.

Hank: Yeah. One, two, three. (Hank cheers, Katherine laughs) That was lucky!

Katherine: (awed squealing)

Hank: Two's?

Katherine: Run around in the coins. uh-oh. That one looks like it's got water in it.

Hank: It's definitely got wa-- I don't understand how there's water in the frozen level.

Katherine: Yeah, it's not really a frozen level like the first one was.

Hank: Yeah, the first one was frozen, but now it's been like... fences and boo houses and now we're at a beach!

Katherine: This game is for children.

Hank: Is that what it is?

Katherine: I think so.

Hank: Look at these little crabs, is he gonna hurt me? No, he's not.

Katherine: Can we run over this rock?

Hank: Why did I fall? (Katherine laughs like Bugs Bunny) Look at these goombas! Aaaah! I thought they were just relaxing! I thought they were relaxing.

Katherine: (laughs) They are! Until you come along.

Hank: Yeah, they're like...

Katherine: Look at me, I'm just running on the bottom of the--

Hank: I had to run away.

Katherine: You were fine, they couldn't come out of the water with their floaties on.

Hank: Yeah, they had floaties on. (? 11:53) Oh, I thought I--

Katherine: You hit down!

Hank: (? 11:57)

Katherine: I can't-- I can't. Oh, I want that so bad.

Hank: Yeah you do, because fire flowers are always the best.

Katherine: So good.

Hank: Whee, that was fun.

Katherine: Can I get another one for you. Get in that pipe, get in it.

Hank: Gimme the pipe. That looks like it hurts, honestly. Get sucked a little too hard. What?

Katherine: I didn't say anything. Apparently, we can just hold our breath foreeeever. There's all this over here, though.

Hank: Oh, I got-- sorry. Are you sure there's anything-- ooooh, it's pretty. UP up! There's coins up there!

Katherine: I got all of them.

Hank: Down. I got all of them. (gurgling sounds)

Katherine: (laughs) Oh, you got that, too. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Good job.

Hank: Helloooo fishy. Fishy fishy. Thank you Katherine, my brother

Katherine: That's my job.

Hank: Oh, yay. Fireball fire! I like how they like have boiling bubbles that come after them. ooh, I exploded those blocks, yeah, Strong. Is there like a b-- what is this? Is there like a hole in the floorboards?

Katherine: It looks like there's a hole, but it's just because it's a shipwreck.

Hank: What about this--?

Katherine: Crack?

Hank: Crack.

Katherine: Yeah, well, here.

Hank: We need the bomb.

Katherine: pfft. I don't think--

Hank: Apparently you can ground pound. Oh, there's fish coming out of it.

Katherine: That's nice.

Hank: Yeah. Stop being alive! Alright. Hey! Not bad. Go in that pipe, baby.

Katherine: OK.

Hank: I got the coins.

Katherine: Squat it.

Hank: Hey!

Katherine: Is this is(? 14:38)

Hank: (?)

Katherine: You have to come out a different pipe.

Hank: Oh, we needed a different pipe.

Katherine: Here, I have a solu-- suggestion.

Hank: What? (trying hard noises) I have a suggestion. I'm gonna bounce off your head!

Katherine: Go ahead and try. awwww pfft

Hank: (laughs) Id didn't work. Yay! We're champions!

Katherine: Teammates!

Hank: Together! In life and love. Thank you for watching this episode of Games with Hank, the game has been Super Mario 3D world, the Hank has been Katherine and Hank and Cameo, the cat.

Katherine: She's being super cute, you guys.

Hank: Oh god, what's on my lens?

Katherine: ooh, a big sludge!

Hank: Ewww, well that's gross.

Katherine: Let's get that.

Hank: That's gross. Where did that even come from? Probably the dog. Probably the dog nosed it.

Katherine: Ew.

Hank: Thanks for watching, and DFTBA