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Last sync:2024-07-15 21:30
In which Hank finishes Memory Sequence Three! And fails at killing the guy he was trying to kill...which seems to be the way of things these days.
I'm back. If you remember last time, I had just helped La Volpe do... something. Save... something. I was-- it was dumb! I was, like, gonna help convince him that Machiavelli wasn't a bad guy and then they, like, totally caught him spying... but I convinced him anyway. So. Uh. Now I'm gonna go in this tunnel, and I'm gonna go somewhere.

I need to go to the the Tiber Island Hideout? No? No. Rosa in Fiore. No. N-- Barracks? No. Tevere-- no. No. Yes. That one. That looks good. I-- for some reason, I though the Tiber Island Hideout was-- was not in the middle of the city. But it is. I thought it might be in an island. On an island. I guess it is on an island, but... it's... not, like, off the coast, it's in the river. Uh. Interesting.

And~ Infinite grid, infinite grid, running around in the infinite grid~ I can go forever in any direction except up and down, up and down~

(Yes. I secured something of great worth from one of my contacts.) Excellent! Yes! See? Totally a good guy. (We now have the names of several Templar agents Cesare has recruited to terrorize them.) Ugh, Cesare. Cesare's a real guy, you can look him up, and read about him. He's, um, he's a bad dude. His dad was Pope. Bad Pope. (My contact will continue searching for more names.) Okay!

Um... (This information came from a city guard?) Yes. (Yes. How did you know?) I was spying on you with The Fox. (Lucky guess. Grazie.) Oh. That's not very honest. (Claudia, Bartolomeo and La Volpe are waiting for you inside.) Okay. (I can't imagine how you did it.) Heheheh... (Virtue, Machiavelli.) Yes! Check it out! I am better at this than you! I am better! Than you! At this!

I have friends, I have brothers! My... friends! Hahaha. Cadre. (Caterina will be moved to the prison within the Castello next week.) Okay. We shall rescue her. 'Cause... I got some pent-up emotions, if you know what I mean. (Only if the opportunity to assassinate them rises I will take it.) Okay.

(Do not repeat your mistake in the Vault.) What... was the mistake? (You must kill them now.) Oh, right right right right right right right. (I'm with Machiavelli, Ezio. We should not wait.) Well... I will kill them, probably at the very end of the game, is my guess. (Do not worry. They will die. You have my word.) They will die. You have my word. I'm good at this. I can do that.

Okay. Um. Don't worry, they will die, it's kind of my job. I'm pretty good at it. Okay... 'B to interact'. Why isn't there, a, um-- wait. Hello? Why can't I go in there? I'm confused. Oh, I have to talk to this, uh, blue dot. Over here. Architect! Hello. Hello, chubby.

(Sir Ezio, I represent the combined resources of Bartolomeo d'Alviano, Claudia Auditore, and La Volpe.) Okay... You have a whole... (you can channel your florins to any part of the underground you desire.) My florins... I don't know what you mean.

(You may have seen notices posted around Roma which allow you to purchase buildings.) Oh. Okay. So I can-- I don't have to go to places to buy them. That would be really awesome. Okay. (Motto bene.) Motto bene. Can I, um, can I... 'throughout the city'. I'm a little confused.

'Collective Intell--' Um, I-- 100% sync no matter what on that, that's good. Um, I-- ooh! 'Sequence 3 complete'! Oh my goodness! That was a quick sequence! Well, too bad I'm in the middle of this episode and I an't end it now. 'Cause, y'know, the beginning of the sequences are always slow.

'Fixer-Upper'! I fix stuff. I'm good at that. I do like to make things pretty. Uh. Infinite grid~ Infinite grid~ Running around in the infinite grid~ Infinite grid, infinite grid~ I can go forever~... 'Sequence 4: the Den of Thieves'! Ezio Auditore is a thief, and, he has a fox for a friend... they have dens... in their dens... They kiss. They kiss like little foxes. 

Oh! 775! Wow. That's awesome. That's a lot. Hello. Hello Horsey. Can I have your horse? Thanks. That's great. ... 'Revenue deposit... in the bank'? That's a lot of money. I'm thankful. That's good. Okay. What are you doing? Let's go. Let's go! Let's go, Ezio, let's go.

Go, go~ Gogo go~ Go Ezio~ Go go go go go go~ In the wrong direction~ But I don't have a choice~ 'Cause there's a building there~ Go go go~ Go go go~ Gotta go to the exclamation point~ Exclamation point is where I wanna go~ But it's sometimes hard to get there if there's stuff in my way~ 

Ooh, there's a pretty big building up here. Have I talked about how I love how pretty this game is? I mean, I love stabbing people. It's true, can't deny it, stabbing's fun. But... really, what I love, is the... is the beauty of the game.

And so, because of that, I'm going to climb this building, which I'm sure I should know the name of, being... born in a Western nation. Um, but I don't. Can I use that? Ugh. Can I climb this? Ergh. (*Ezio grunts loudly*) Ezio, that was not so grunt-worthy. as all that.

I want to climb this building. I wanna climb it. Oh, there's an inside! You can go inside? You can hardly ever go inside buildings in this game, that's awesome! Oh. Where am I? Someone tell me! In the comments, let me know where I am! It's beautiful, I want to go there in real life. It's very golden. 

I won't be able to do this in real life. Get up! Get on the cross! Get on the cross-- nope. Okay. This is... nice... I bet I can climb this! And that! I don't know why. Yeah. I don't think it's gonna take me anyplace interesting, really. But I'm doing it anyway. 

Okay, here I go. Oh, goodness... whoa! God, that's... that's vertigo-inducing. I feel like there should be a present up here for me. There isn't. Whoa God! What are these little dots? Just decorations? Ohh! Jeezy creezy... Oh, man. Okay. Don't push that button. Just run around.

Yep. Nope. There's no presents AAAAAH! That hurt! I need some medicine. You know what that means. I need to kill some guards. Guards have medicine. It's the free way to get medicine. How... ooh! Hello~ 'Y to examine'... Upgrade~

Probably should've checked to see if, uh, I could use that thing where I was. Because now I'm gonna use it anyway. 7/18! Already! That's pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. So-- Oh. It's all the way up there. Uh, uh! That one. Rosa in Fiore.

Go~ Through the tunnels~ Through the tunnels~ Ezio~ Go~ Through the tunnels~ It's bright and  white in the tunnels~ It looks like an infinite grid in the tunnels~ An infinite grid~ Doo doo doo doo~ Doo doo doo doo~ There's grids and grids and grids and grids but you don't fall~ and you can jump~ You do~ I will do~ Nothing for you~ And there's the Rosa~

And there is my exclamation point. I'm going to climb this, because it looks like a good thing to climb. I like ladders. They are less complicated than most things you have to climb in this game. Hello, I'm on the top. And that didn't actually turn out to be particularly useful, but that's okay...

Doo doo doo doo doo~! And...running! Running over buildings is much easier than the alternative~ Oh, is my, is my exclamation point in the middle of... hey, there he is. There's the guy I need to kill. My mission has changed now, 'cause I see a guy... well, I don't actually see him. I don't actually see him, but I'm going to go get him... with my stabby.

'Entering Pietro de Siena's territory. Kill him to remove Borgia influence...Difficulty: 5'... Okay. Okay. I am... I'm officially... what? I'm not there. I'm not here. Okay... That is not ideal. That is not ideal. Oh. well, for some reason, that guy didn't care about me. 

...Oh, shoot. Oh my goodness. Uh, well, this is going to probably be the end of this. Um, because I'm going to be stabbing people for a long time now. Is that go-- (I will just go away!) Well, maybe not. I am going to take your medicine now. Uh... I'll try... I'll try and fit this in. I'll try and fit killing this guy in.

I gotta replenish my... my stocks. Of bullets and medicine. 'Throwing knives full'. I don't know if bullets are full yet. Okay, got good medicine. All right. So how am I going to get to this guy? Well, is there-- Oh, there's three of them here. So let's just try to keep going up, instead of killing those people. 

'Cause as I always say, it's better to not kill people if you have choice. Do I always say that? I feel like that's probably the opposite of what I generally say. Right on top of him! Right on top-- I'm standing right on top of where he is. I'm gonna take out my Assassin's Blade. And then... wait, is he moving? 

Well, I stabbed that big guy-- Ohhhkay, this is going to be... somewhat intense. Oh, he escaped. Wow. Wow. That was... Um. So yeah, this is a little disappointing. Um. Uh, I thought... that I would have an easier time killing this guy. But I did not. So. Uh, I had no problem killing all of his friends!

And I am also notorious in this area, but, um...yeah! That's too bad. So we're gonna end on that somewhat sour note. I had no problem killing them. But, uh, still would have rather...would rather have actually done the thing that I came to do.

So we're ending on that sour note, and I will see you... I wil not see you. You will not see me. But you will hear me... next time. Goodbye.