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Last sync:2024-07-15 20:00
In which Hank meets up with La Volpe and helps out a little kid who got his arm stabbed and thus walks really slow.
Okay, so I'm back, and I'm still on my way to this exclamation point, uh, and I just called for a horse, and none came. Come, horse! Get-- the-- I hear your feet now. There you are! Hello. Well, I guess I should-- I shouldn't expect you to be quite so quick. I mean, I-- you've spoiled me into thinking that's how it is every time.

I complain also about, uh, how, how big Rome is, and how it takes a long time to everywhere, but it is kinda cool, y'know? Kinda cool that I get to... I'm basically, y'know, it's basically the actual size of actual Rome, so yeah, it takes a long time to get from place to place. 

Oh, here's a-- here's this. I want this. I want this so I can get back easily. I can't-- where's the-- where's the plaque thing? No plaque thing at all? Okay, well, I guess I have to do this mission before I... before I unlock that. So interact with the sparkly bit!

(Ezio.) (La Volpe, I am surprised to see you.) Ah, La Volpe. The Wolf? Ah, it's good to see you. I like you. You were the first person I think I realized I wasn't the only assassin. (You want to put my spies to work.) Do I? (Then join me.) Yes. We need to grow our army. (That man is a traitor to our order.) He is, a little bit, but, uh... (A serious allegation, coming from a thief.) Well, how do you mean, 'traitor'? (He was an ambassador to the Papal court--) 'Papal' is a funny word. (--and traveled as the personal guest of Cesare himself. I also know he abandoned you right before the Villa attack.) He's a te...yeah (Machiavelli may not please all tastes, but he is an Assassin, not a traitor.) Yeah. I mean, he's...he's, y'know, he puts himself first. He's not a traitor.

(Ah. He is meeting someone in the Trastevere right now.) Oh. We're gonna go spy on Machiavelli? (I will follow.) Fine. I trust him. Will I follow slowly? Because-- 'Double Agent: Spy on Machiavelli with La Volpe...' Okay. Will do! Uh, I would rather be stabbing people, but I can also persuade. I have lots of talents. 

Okay, good. Um, why can't I open up this tunnel? S...PQR! SPQR... People have told me, by the way, what that stands for. It stands for, um... something that, uh, translates to 'The Senate and the People of Rome', and the Senate and the People of Rome, of course, being folks who... did all the stuff in Rome!

As it-- It's sort of like a, y'know, branding, as it were. This is to say, y'know, 'We did this! This thing was made by us. So be proud.' And I would be proud. I would be proud, if I was part of the Senate and People of Rome. Um... not necessarily in 1500. I might not be proud in 1500. But I'd be proud back when it was, y'know, in its glory days.

Crossin' that river! Uh, the horse unfortunately could not do that with me. I also, uh, I-I did some climbing around in these ruins, while, uh... between episodes because, uh, some of the stuff would be pretty boring, and um, yeah! It's kinda cool to climb around. To climb around the, uh, these ruins. Because-- Ooh! Right on that fence.

Hey! No problem! Oh! Hi! Hey, how's it going? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. What's up? I love money. Okay! Who am I meeting? Where is he? This guy? No. Is he up? He's probably up. He's the-- He's La Volpe! He's always on top of something, he's never on the ground. Why would you expect him to be on the ground? 

Okay, hello! (What do you make of that?) ...Maybe he's spying for the other side! He's getting a cipher delivered. Wait-- What-- Oh-- Yes! Oh-- Stabby! Oh! People are getting to stab and it's not me?! I would rather do the stabbing, thank you very much.

You okay? (Help!) Ohh, he's not okay. He's not okay! (Volpe, my son Claudio has been injured!) Claudio! (They are going to shoot him.) No! Stop them! (I will kill these. Go! Get the others.) Okay! No problem! I'm on my way!

I'm so-- Okay. Actually, I'm gonna fill up on life, first. Um, ow! There's a lot of them. There's a lot of you guys. Wh-- why do you keep staying so far away from me? Um. Okay... I guess I will use this knife! Oh, my God, why are they so hard to kill? Why are you so hard to kill? Oh-- 'kay. This is, uh, this is-- Okay. It does not help that I'm inside of a tree.

What are you doing? Ezio! Jeez! Kill the people! The gun helps. Hahaha. (Quick, hide from the guards.) I'm now notorious. (I can't.) Yes, while I just shot a bunch of people in broad daylight. (Pay attention. Do what I do.) Okay, is he gonna follow me? He's gotten shot in the arm! How's he gonna do what I do? Um.

I'm going the wrong way. So that's not good. Um, 'You are actively searching for me'. Can you climb? My little friend? Can you climb? You cannot. Okay. (You'll hurt someone pulling a stunt like that!) Heheheh, you are going to be troublesome, my little friend.

Wait, what? 'Reduce distance from target'? He's right here! Right here. He's following me. Heh. Okay. You are a slow mover. I guess-- I mean, most of the time, I can complain about people moving slowly, but you have just been, uh-- had your arm almost knocked off, so, uh, I'm not as, not as uh, annoyed with you.

Okay, that's a dead end. That's too bad. We're...gonna have to walk past some guards. Um, but maybe we can blend. Can you blend with me? Well, maybe, maybe they're only searching for me and not for you.

Blend, blend, blendy blend blend~ I don't actually see the guard that I'm supposed to be seeing right now~ There he is. I'm blending! Blending. Blending. Don't worry 'bout me. Okay, good. Good. Wait, 'target'... Ugh, God, it is annoying to not be able to free run! I never-- I did not ever realize how much I missed that skill.

Okay. We did it! We didn't even have to fight anybody! Good job, buddy. Good job, my little Claudio. (Claudio!) Yes, he's fine. He's a kid! He's like 15! Jeez... (Then rip them down.) Oh, come on. (You can pay the Heralds a few florins to silence them.) Ugh, boring mission! (Or, I can eliminate witnesses.) Yes. (You know how to disappear.) Yes, well, I did have to shoot those people. Um, it was my fault.

Checkpoint reached! And...there's...poster? Where is-- Where is this poster? I... don't know. Up here? Sometimes, they're-- they're like, 'Yeah, the wanted posters are gonna do a lot of good up on the ledge where no one will ever see them.' I always find that odd. 

Um... Let's, uh, let's escape notoriety, here. Haha. Usually, you dive. You didn't dive that time. Um, so there's a witness over here-- oh no, Herald. Herald. Um, I'm gonna bribe you. 500 florins?! Jeez! Aw. That's expensive.

Okay, I've only got a quarter notoriety left to remove. And that should be removed with... with some... this poster right here. Don't try and--! Okay, good job, good job.

And I wanna find a, uh, sp-ker, so that I... oh, what's this? Is this where I'm supposed to go? Objective's over there. Um... Well, what the-- how did I get all the way over here? I'm a little confused. This is... 'Empty Faction Building'. Well, that are-- we're gonna fill that up. Okay, I guess I'll go to the blue dot.

Blue dot. Blue dot blue dot blue dot blue dot. Horsey~ Horsey~ Where are you~? Horsey-- Hello! Kill people on the way! Hello, ninja horse of trample. It's so good to see you again. I really appreciate all of the work you do for me. I'm not kidding. I really do. 

Um...let's... you can't go across. You can't go across rivers. So I must abandon you. 'Scuse me, large group of people. Oh, look, my horse from the other time is still there! That's so convenient. Ah, thank you for waiting for me, horsey! 

So many people just hanging out. You'd think that they'd be doing work, but they're not. They're just talking. Just hanging out. Having conversations. So. 'Sup, friends? These people are actually-- are going somewhere, at least. Most people are just in groups of five to seven, standing around. 

Okay... excellent. If I could have repaired this tunnel, I could have done that much faster, but I can't. I can take care of this. Whoa. 800 F's. Yes, I shall! Repair the fabro. So that's what 'fabro' means, if you were wondering. People who have the last name, 'fabro'. Yep, they're smiths.

(I am sure I have just what you need!) I, I actually need, I need repairs, and possibly really awesome, really awesome weapons, to kill people with. Um... no, I don't really want greaves... Bearded Axe! I want one of those, how much is it? ...'Requires the Heavy Sheath from the Tailor Shop'?! Man! That's... bull. I have to get a different sheath? It doesn't come with a sheath? Sheep. Sheep!

Hello~ (What a night this has been.) Night? It's totally daytime. (I know what we saw, but you have nothing to fear from Machiavelli.) He's got... he's got a guy on the inside! (I have you to thank for saving Claudio's life.) Oh, you say-- you're so sweet! Machiavelli never cares about people. (I trust you.) Okay.

(So, what of the thieves?) Thieves? (We had plans to repair this old building, but now that you and I are working together, I would like to know what you think.) Oh, well, I'm an expert on that. (Yes, hmm, I like that idea.) I'm so clever!

Get me an architect! He's chubby, and he wears an apron! He's right there! He's got-- what...what's he even got on his back there? What is that? He's got... scrolls! They're scrolls! I was very excited about that, heheh. 

Dun dun~ Cut-scene~ Fast motion, building an inn~ Like an inn~ Very exciting~ Can I up-- Can I fix this... thing now~? I would like to~ 

No, I'm gonna have a cut-scene in the inn, of course. (Welcome, Ezio, to La Volpe Addormentata.) La Volpe Addor... The Sleeping Fox! ADORABLE! That is so classic. Love it.

(Visit me whenever you like. There might be objectives to pursue that will help our cause in the city.) Oh. You may have noticed that I'm not-- I'm more of a linear game player. I don't like side quests. Busy. I'm a busy guy. I like to *snaps fingers* finish the game. And be *snaps* done. 

(Ah, yes, I forgot. We also have gambling.) Oh. (It is a great source of income, especially since we ensure that the Borgia guards always lose.) Ahahaha~! They're gonna stop coming now. (We are searching the city for it already.) Okay, that's good to know, um... I am embarrassed by the fact that you lost it, Ezio. People aren't just gonna be like 'Oh, yeah uhuhuhmh,' YOU LOST THE FREAKIN' APPLE OF EDEN. THIS IS A BIG DEAL.

Ugh. Okay. Oh, I accidentally got 100% sync. Good job me. Let's see if I can open up this thing -- I can. Oh, I automatically get to use it. I don't even have to pay for it. Excellent. Um... so where's my new exclamation...point? Where is it? Oop, that was the wrong way. Up here! Excellent, I can actually use... I can use the tunnels! Use the tunnels. Ah, excellent.

But! I cannot use the tunnels right now, because this video is already way too long. So, I... will not see you, you will not see me, but you will hear me...tomorrow. Goodbye.