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Sex Coach- Someone who is similar to a life coach, who focuses on a person’s sex life and sexuality.

Relationship Therapist- Also known as a Marriage or Couples Counselors, they help couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships.

Psychiatrist- A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental health and emotional problems. Because of extensive medical training, the psychiatrist understands the body’s functions and the complex relationship between emotional illness and other medical illness. The psychiatrist is thus the mental health professional and physician best qualified to distinguish between physical and psychological causes of both mental and physical distress. Psychiatrists are physicians who specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of mental health. (

Counselor- During a therapy session, a counselor helps people understand and resolve personal issues.

Psychologist- A professional specializing in diagnosing and treating diseases of the brain, emotional disturbance, and behavior problems. Psychologists can only use talk therapy as treatment; you must see a psychiatrist or other medical doctor to be treated with medication. Psychologists may have a master's degree (MA) or doctorate (Ph.D.) in psychology. They may also have other qualifications, including Board certification and additional training in a type of therapy.(

Psychotherapist- During psychotherapy, you learn about your condition and your moods, feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Psychotherapy helps you learn how to take control of your life and respond to challenging situations with healthy coping skills. (

Sex Therapist- A sex therapist can be a psychiatrist, a marriage and family therapist, a psychologist, or a clinical social worker. They are specially trained in sex therapy methods beyond the minimal amount of training about sexuality that is required for each of those licenses. (
Lindsey: This is Sexplanations' guide for helping you choose a professional.  In terms of your sexuality, that might be a therapist, sex surrogate, sexologist, medical provider, educator, sexological body worker, people trained in their field, this field, to do a job you want to hire them for, which is also a major investment of your time, money, and social skills, so I wanted to help you choose someone great.


Let's start by identifying the kind of professional help you need.  Is it a one-time thing like a yeast infection or an ongoing thing like body shame?  Is it medical, psychological, do you need someone to help you determine if it's your body or your mind?  An example might be: I need someone to help make sure my cervix is healthy.  There's a list of sexuality related helping professions and a short run-down of what they do in the description to help you out with this.  Basically, though, if it has to do with your body such as pain, changes, or weirdness, then I would go with a medical provider, even if the issue is psychological in nature, because it doesn't hurt to rule out physical problems. 

Actually have a choice.  I suppose choosing the one therapist you can think of or no one at all is a choice, but not a good one.  Get a phone book, go to websites, make choices, there are people all over the internet who will offer help at a distance, or at least support your local resources to be better for you.  Just have at least three options, please.

Read reviews.  In addition to their business web pages, look at the pages that aren't affiliated with them, but still have something to say about them.  Note, the way reviews are set up, people can and do express themselves, so I look for four plus stars, and read the best and worst reviews.  If they did something wrong, I'm less curious about the offense and more curious about what they did to make it better.  Maybe more recent posts reference improvements, I hope we're all judged on our growth, not our ignorance. 

Once you have a list of solid candidates, plan an interview to interview them.  Set up out some treats for yourself to reward the hard work of making cold calls, put your shoes on so that you carry an air of being professional, and have paper and pen to take notes.

Hi, my name is Lindsey.  I don't give my last name yet, and I make sure that they respect that.  I'm calling to ask some questions about your services.  At this point, they would put you on hold or invite your questions. 

Next, assess their availability.  Ask them if they're taking new clients or patients, and if it's a program you're applying to, whether or not they're taking applications.  This strokes their egos a little 'cause you think they're desirable, and it lets them know right away why you're calling.  If they're pretty booked, see if they'll offer to call you when there's a cancellation, that's a very cool gesture and it often ends up working out in your favor.  Hold off on making an appointment though, because you might want to first try what I call the Vagina Test.

The Vagina Test involves asking some forthcoming questions related to your appointment, of course, that use words like vagina, anus, or sex, maybe words like partner, poly, penis, surgery, or cod.  The purpose is to get a sense of how the professional on the phone responds to it.  Equally important how you feel saying it to them.  It's my hope you'll work with people who are comfortable talking with you about sexuality and with whom you're comfortable talking.  Can you say erection the nurse inspecting your genitals, or anal sex to your marriage therapist? 

And while you're communicating, another suggestion is to choose someone who'll correct you, not fix you per say, but step up and let you know when your thinking is off.  That's important and essential that you can reciprocate.  Do you feel able to correct them or at least ask them to do something differently?  It's okay to teach them to be better and to ask them for what you need.  For example, I prefer female pronouns, can I bring my journals for you to read a part of?  Would you be able to research my testosterone levels?  Or, in the moment, asking them to please be gentler or talk to you with a friendlier tone.  You are hiring them, they are working for you, sure, they may have more knowledge and experience, it doesn't matter, they're providing a service to you, and I want it to be great.

Okay, three more quick ones.  Self-efficacy.  Does the professional think they can help, even if they haven't worked with an issue like yours, do they believe in themselves to do it?  Yes, then yes. 

Are they well-connected?  Can they make referrals as needed?  Would they be open to collaborating with other professionals to give you wrap-around treatment?  Do they know the community resources and would they send you to someone else if that person could give you better services?  That's my style.

Last consideration, cost.  The questions are, do they take insurance?  Have payment plans or a sliding fee scale, meaning the less you make, the less they charge, though I hope none of you are stifled by this barrier.  I want you to talk with your professionals about your needs and commitment to do the work.  There is help for your sexual health that doesn't have to compromise your financial health.  And remember, some things are free. 

Sexplanations is free because generous viewers like you support the channel through the crowd-sourcing platform Patreon.  If you wanna join, click here and stay curious. 

You know that gravity isn't real?


?: Is that your Bing Bong impression?