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In which Hank talks about how great his Sunday was...and how America killed its top priority military target.

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A Bunny
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Good morning John; it's Monday. I have to say, yesterday: fantastic day. I just had a great day yesterday. It was the first of May, and true to Jonathan Coulton's song, it was a gorgeous day outside, though I did not have any al fresco fornication, nor did I witness any, thank goodness. Katherine and I went and got breakfast downtown, we ran into some friends who were filming a movie, and I got to be in their movie. We went to see Win Win, the new Paul Giamatti m- awesome, really good movie. I read Clash of Kings on my back porch, Osama bin Laden was killed in a precision military strike, Katherine and I played Mario Kart Wii... Actually, we were playing Mario Kart Wii; Katherine had to go to the bathroom, I pull out my phone to check Twitter, and by the time she got back I had my laptop on my lap, and I was watching Obama's address, with the Mario Kart music in the background. Obama: [with Mario Kart menu music] The United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al-Qaeda. Hank: It was a surreal moment. And, I'm not gonna lie, Katherine and I high-fived. And then we, uh, raced in the 100cc Banana Cup; I was Donkey Kong, she was Yoshi, and... she won. So there are all kinds of interesting discussions that I'm sure people will be having over the coming days. Like, for example, is it okay to high-five your wife over the death of another human being? But instead of that discussion, since, y'know, this happened, like, mere hours ago - it seems a little premature to talk about all the implications - let's just talk for a moment about what we actually know before we launch into the, uh, spin cycle. Number one, despite the fact that Jack Bauer was a trending topic on Twitter last night, the death of Osama bin Laden had nothing to do with rogue agents or weird intelligence activities or breaking international treaties or torture, which is a really notoriously bad information gathering technique. And there weren't even any twenty-four hour deadlines; it was a long, thought-out, months-long process. They gathered information over a long period of time, and they put all that information together using some great deductive minds, and they, they figured it out. Number two, CIA operatives and the Navy SEALs involved in the action attempted to take Osama bin Laden alive but were not able to. It is unclear, uh, when this will be made in to a made-for-TV movie, but my guess is minimum six months. Five people were killed in the attack, four of them were al-Qaeda members, one of them was a woman who was used as a human shield by one of those al-Qaeda members, which is horrible. Ayman al-Zawahri remains the number-one guy at al-Qaeda, and he's been sort of the chief of operations guy for a long time, and he's a jerk, but according to what I've read and various leaked documents from the CIA, he doesn't have the same charismatic following. It might be hard for him to keep the loyalty that- that Osama bin Laden was kind of holding together at al-Qaeda, so this could be a pretty good thing. And lastly, Barack Obama ordered this assault right before flying to Alabama to survey the damage done by the tornadoes and talk to the people there, and then during the attack itself he called the president of Pakistan. He was like "Hey, president of Pakistan, just wanted you to know we found bin Laden; we're coming to get him; we're either gonna take him captive or we're gonna kill him. And, uh, sorry for not asking permission, but yeah, we're just gonna do this." And that is a phone call that I cannot imagine Donald Trump making, so... glad Barack Obama was in charge just then. That's just me, though. I apologize for not, y'know, waxing poetic as John probably would have about the, you know, emotions of our country, about the morality of assassination, as we receive this, ah, cold-served dish. As for how I feel personally, my emotions are in a lot of different places right now. So let's just say this, uh, the fact that I know that I should not be happy at the death of another human being, uh, that doesn't change the fact that I am. John, I'll see you on Wednesday. End screen! Sorry, not a very light-hearted video, that. But, y'know. I have to say one thing here, in John's last video, uh, lots of people asked a question and then got 125 or so thumbs up, that question did, and that question was "When is Hank's first album coming out?!" and... two or three years ago... people... This is my second album, this is the shirt that came out with it. It comes with a poster, seventeen songs on it, and we also just reprinted these shirts; they were originally in green, and now they're in black. My next album will hopefully be coming out in, uh, the month after this one. What is that? Um, April, May, June. In June. That's all! Okay, bye!