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Last sync:2023-11-08 04:00
In which Hank asks real questions from real nerdfighters to his real mom and dad. Find out what Hank's real name is, what John's GIRL name is, and some nice embarassing tidbits about us as kids.

Hank: Good morning John and good morning nerdfighters. Today we're gonna have a special episode of Question Tuesday, where we answer real questions from real nerdfighters, this time with my real dad and my real mom.

John and Hank's Mom: That's me.

Hank: Also your real dad and real mom. [looks at mom] Unless you've got something that you want to tell us.

Mom: Not today.

Hank: So how are you feelin'?

John and Hank's Dad: Nervous. I don't—I don't, uh, do in front of the camera.

Hank: Dad makes films. Um, we—this is where we got it from.

Dad: No.

Hank: [laughs]

Dad: No. You—you did a—

Hank: You're not gonna—?

Dad: You did a whole new—a whole new better thing.

Hank [reading from laptop screen]: The first question I have for you is from Ingus. "Why did you name your son 'William' if you were gonna call him Hank?"

Dad: [laughs]

Hank: I would also like to know the answer to this question, because the bank doesn't like it.

Mom: Okay, because we're southern, we wanted to name you after your grandfathers, so that was 'William Henry.'

Dad: Didn't want you to be 'the Bill' or 'Billy'—

Hank: Or 'Willy'?

Dad: Or 'Bill' or 'Willy.' We liked Hank. We thought it was cute. Baby Hank. BUT I realize it's been a monumental pain in the a— [sound gap] for you your entire life.

Hank: [laughs] I remember being like thirteen years old and not knowing how to spell 'William.' [reading from laptop screen] Did you have alternate names for us if we were going to be girls?

Dad: Oh, yeah.

Hank: Do I have a girl name out there somewhere?

Mom: No, not for you. I knew you were a boy.

Hank: How did you know I was a boy? Magic witchcraft?

Mom: Yes, pretty much.

Hank: But you did have one for John.

Mom: Yes: 'Elizabeth.'

Hank: How did you feel when I came out a boy?

Dad: I was perfectly fine with that.

Hank: [laughs]

Dad: Mostly happy that you were out and breathing. You were—

Hank: Ten fingers and ten toes.

Dad: You were a little blue.

Hank: Yeah.

Dad: Yeah, you had some—

Hank: I didn't have the best birth.

Dad: You were real bad blue. You didn't have a real high Apgar score. John's grades were higher, even then.

Hank: What is an Apgar score? Is that just like they take the—

Dad: It's a color score.

Hank: They have—just have like a color chart—

Dad: Yeah, they do. [laughs] And they—

Hank: —like from Home Depot—

Dad: —they do—

Hank: —and they just line it up—

Dad: Yeah.

Hank: —and they're like 'okay, there you go.'

Dad: Yeah, I absolutely think that's what it is. But I—based on my political science degree.

Hank [reading from laptop screen]: What was John like as a child—

Mom: Horrible.

Hank: Wow.

Mom: Wow.

Hank: You didn't even let me finish the sentence.

Mom: [laughs]

Dad: He was a…wonderful child.

Hank: [laughs]

Dad: He was a little troubled.

Mom: Unique, as my mother would say.

Dad: Lonely.

Mom: John was always into embellishing the truth.

Dad: We're walking through the Miami airport and he's, like, five, and you're three, and we're carrying you, and he's like walking and carrying his—hauling his little bag, and he just lies down, calmly. No—no tantrums, he just lies down on his back in the airport and says, 'it's just too much, I can't take it anymore.'

Hank: […laughs]

Mom: One time you just finally got tired of him yelling at you, and you took a hammer to him. 'Cause you couldn't talk, really, at that time. You were pretty little—

Hank: Why did I have a hammer?!

Mom: Hmm I don't know.

Hank [reading from laptop screen]: Mom.

Mom: Yes?

Hank: How did you raise such perfect children?

Mom: [laughs]

Dad: [laughs]

Hank [reading from laptop screen]: Do your friends and family understand what we [motions to self] do? John and I?

Mom: They clearly understand what John does.

Hank: Yeah.

Mom: Do they understand what you do? And—and the videos and everything else?

Hank: Yeah, that stuff.

Mom: No…no. No.

Dad: It always surprises me, and kinda amuses me, that there are people who go, 'is Hank okay with the fact that John is so famous and so successful?'

Hank: I'm not, though.

Dad: [laughs]

Hank: You think I am. [reading from laptop screen] Jesse wants to know 'has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?'

Mom: …Yes.

Hank [reading from laptop screen]: What's your number one parenting tip?

Dad: Encourage.

Hank: Wow. Just one word, too.

Mom: Your father would say his number one marriage tip is persistence, and, um, so, I think maybe my number one parenting tip is along the same lines.

Hank [reading from laptop screen]: Henry Reich says—

Dad: Ohh.

Hank: You know Henry.

Dad: Oh, yeah.

Hank: How did you decide to live where you do?

Dad: We moved near Asheville—

Hank: Yeah.

Dad: —twenty minutes outside Asheville. Spreadsheet, that had indicators on it.

Mom: Social well being and individual well being and—

Dad: And almost all the indicators came from the census.

[at same time]
Mom: We wanted to move somewhere— 
Hank: So you used math, is that what you're saying?

Mom: Okay, maybe.

Hank: You like, math-ed your way to your new home?

Mom: Yes. God, we're such nerds.

Hank [holding doll]: What—what is up with this?

Mom: My friend made it. She's wearing Chanel. Look, she's got bloomers.

Hank: She's got bloomer—yeah, she does. Bloomers.

Mom: [laughs]

Hank: Thanks for bein' my mom.

Mom: Oh, thanks for being my son! Mwah.

Hank [to Dad]: Thanks for supporting us, uh, throughout all of this and also as, you know, my dad, throughout all of the rest of my life. Everybody, my dad! 

[applause sound effect] 

Hank: [claps]

Dad: [waves]

Hank: I'll just put in applause there. So everybody…

Dad: [laughs]

[screenshot of red Project for Awesome thumbnail]
Mom: I personally love the fact that it's time for Project for Awesome. That's my favorite time of year.

Mom: Bye!

Hank: Bye!