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In which Hank finally gets the Climb Leap glove from Leonardo. And decides to masquerade as Link.

Last time on "Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0," I killed a lot of French people to steal their armor, and then I... uh... I took over a Borgia tower in a somewhat inelegant fashion, because I killed the wrong dude. 

(0:13) Pouches! Yes? No. Can I get the big one? Knife belt upgrade. Yes. I want that. Yes. Heavy sheath, yes, so I can have a giant thing; I have been wanting that for a while. Smoke! Oh, I can't afford a smoke bomb pouch? Oh, so expensive! Medium quiver. Medium quiver. Dye clothes. Ember. Ooh, that's pretty. Ooh, that looks like Link from Zelda. Nice. I'm gonna be Link-y. Gonna get all "Linked" up. I'm pretty now. I could also dye my cape. Ooh! And I was gone for a second. Ooh, I won't even, I'm not even going to recognize myself in this outfit. 

(1:08) Oh, there's a Leonardo table up here. I need to go to that. Let's get... I don't even... Where am I? Like a suburb of Rome? Did they have suburbs back then? What is this? Is this a, is this a... What is this? Oh! One of these. 

(1:35) Oh, what happened. Ezio. Be on guard, man, on guard! Oh great. Like a thousand more people just showed up. And this is a... If you don't know what I'm doing, I'm... This guy was having trouble with the guards, and he... If I kill all the people he was fighting with, then I get to recruit him as an assassin. Wow, that last one was awesome! So you are now my new assassin friend. What is going on. Give me your hand. 

(2:12) (New assassin: Messere, you have saved me! Only allow me the honor that I may serve you!) Yes! I will allow that honor. Where are all the bodies?! I needed their crossbow bolts! Frickity frack. Frickity frack. 

Okay, there's a Leonardo bench right up here. Not that one. But this one. I'm gonna sit on this bench. 

(2:41) Now technically in the story line, this wouldn't have worked. (Leonardo: Cesare's banker has been killed.) Oh, what a surprise. (Leonardo: His battle plans are in shambles.) *laughs* (Leonardo: On second thought, let's stick with the inventions.) That's a good thought, Leonardo. Invent me something! Climb leap... That's the thing I need! I can't afford it!! I need a bank! 

(3:14) Ugh. Okay. I need a bank right now, 'cause he's only gonna wait a few more hours, apparently. Okay. I need a bank. Where is a nearby bank. This is probably the nearest one. That's not that nearby, but... If I'm on a horse, it'll go faster. So... lemme call my horse. Hello horsey. Thank you. Let's go. 

*singing* Gotta get to the bank and then get back to Leonardo before a few more hours expire. *speaking* Drop your box, you don't need that box. Who needs it. 

(3:59) Banco. Banco publico. Yes, I will renovate the bank so I can get my ten thousand florins out of the bank. Rome's... I... so much florins per twenty minutes. Let's talk. Let's talk about my money. It's... That's what I needed. Okay. That's all I wanted. 

(4:23) Yes, he's already here, Ezio, you don't need to call him. Now run back to the other side of the village! *singing* Run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run *singing random syllables*

(4:47) *speaking* Leonardo! Help me out, brother! I need my climbing glove, so I can climb faster. Climb your mother. That rhymes with "brother." Yes, I do. That was a... that was a weird interaction. Climb leap glove. Yes! Goodness gracious how I want it. That will make things so much better when I'm climbing Borgia towers. 

(5:14) Now, the night has gone by, so this dude's wife is already dead. Uh... Just if we're going by the game's time frame. Uh, but yeah. (Ezio: Now nothing will be out of my reach.) Well, certain things. Like, for example, Claudia. 

Umm... so yeah. Now, let's... Where'd my horse go? Let's look at the map. Map map map map map map, mappity map map. Map it up. Where am I goin'? Exclamation point is all the way over here, but it looks like there's no big bodies of water in between me and there, so I should be able to take a horse. Horsey horsey. Where you at? There you are! Just waiting around the corner, as usual. Oh, thanks for trampling that guy without me even asking you to. So nice! 

(6:04) So let's go. What's this? Art merchant. Yeah, I don't, I'm not a big, like, "chase around treasure maps" kind of guy, to be honest. Wow, I could call an arrow storm now. That is so exciting. I don't know what that is, but I am looking forward to using one. 

Alright, horsey, speed it up. You are the slowest horse I have ever had. How about, instead of a horse, I get a gosh darn Camaro. That's what I want. Why are there no Camaro's in the Assassin's Creed land, in Ancient Rome? Huh? Huh?

Why did I go the wrong way? Let's just run up. I think I can... I think I can climb this wall. You'll have to stay here, horse, but... I may not be able to climb this wall, actually. Nope! That's annoying.

(6:57) Hang on this one over here? I'm not even gonna try. Okay. This one looks good. Oh, come on. Why even make the first one possible if the second one isn't going to be? Ugh. Rawr rawr rawr rawr! This is an excellent natural defense battlement thing. This is where I would build my villa, if I had a choice. 

Oh, what, I'm running into a Borgia freaking tower? Where am I going? How do I get there? Ugh. Why? Why do they make this game so frustrating? 

(7:45) On a horse, man! Look at... Everybody look at me 'cause I'm riding on a horse! I just did two internet memes in one. Believe that? Know how hard that is? Not actually very hard at all.

What am I doing? Where... where are we going, horsey? What are we in? This doesn't look like a place for horses. Okay.

Okay, this is starting to look like where we're supposed to be. Uhh... Let's take it through the next cut scene, and then we will end this episode. So, there... There was no one there. But he appeared, finally. Okay. I've got your armor. It's all on me. No. Something. I don't know. 

(8:34) (Bartolomeo: Bring me a suit of that perverted armor) *laughs* (Ezio: You are not wearing one.) Why not? (Ezio: It is part of the plan. You surrendered to us. We are bringing you to the Baron.) Ohhhh. Wow. Good plan. You guys, you have no idea what's going on. (Bartolomeo: Go change into costume. Dawn approaches.) Cost... I already changed my costume, now I'm lookin' like Link. Okay. 

(8:57) Next time on "Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0" we will reach the French fortress at Castra Praetoria before sunrise, while leading the disguised mercenaries. Kill any French troops at checkpoints along the way before they raise the alarm. So that's what I'm going to do, next time. On "Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0." Goodbye.