Hank: Last time on LEGO Harry Potter, Hank and Katherine's Harry Potter, we lit Professor Snape's pants on fire because he was trying to save Harry's life. That's the long and short of it. Um...

Katherine: Pretty much!

H: And, uh, now we're collecting things.

K: I'm Harry Potter again. What the heck? Why do they keep switching my...ugh.

H: Oh, I just got inside of a thing and it spat me out.

K: You got in the cupboard.

H: I got in the cupboard. Why don't you get in...on that broomstick, Harry Potter?

K: Well I was gonna go maybe.....levitate these flowers first.

H: (mumbles something about flowers) I'm being attacked by a Bludger. 

K: Woohoo! Harry is the best flyer, okay. You guys have to come over here too because otherwise I can't get up where...ahhh I can't get up there? Okay I guess I can't fly to that one, I have to uh...

H: No, you can. You have to, like, push a button to fly higher?

K: No.

H: No?

K: Oh you are right. You are so right.

H: I'm so right.

K: You have to push this button.

H: S M R T!

K: Wee! Oh look at all of the things I'm getting. I'm getting them all!

H: Whaaaaaaat? Hermione does not like this!

K: Yeah, you should be Ron when you're flying because...

H: Oh is Ron better than Hermione?

K: Harry cannot...I mean, yeah.

H: Hermione (pronounced wrong).

K: Hermione cannot fly. There's like, a route I'm supposed to be following but I can't see it because the screen is split.

H: I'm sorry. I can't help you. How do you get higher?

K: Balls! Push the big button!

H: A? Doesn't work for Ron.

K: Because he's not awesome like Harry Potter!

H: Okay, I know. It is understood. I will...

K: I will do all of the flying for you, thank you. Weeeeee!

H: Okay.

K: I don't want to be on this broom anymore.

H: Good job, let's go.

K: Ah I have to shoot this. Look! Look, things! Uhhh..

H: Look at the...there's a thing. Don't you...can you believe it? We can have more bolts.

K: Shut it! Shut it I'm making things up!

H: You're making a popcorn stand! You love popcorn.

K: I do love popcorn. How the hell did it know?

H: Whaat? Look at all the bolts! Oh my god we're so rich! It's just...it's just pouring out. It's like Las Vegas time!

K: So are you telling me that that was worth it? And I....yeah! Yeah!

H: Unlocked Ravenclaw boy! No specific Ravenclaw boy.

K: We'll shoot him in the pants! Well you probably...

H: Careful, Bludger. Careful.

K: Ahhhhh. You probably need a Ravenclaw boy eventually to get into Ravenclaw. Oh that would've...been helpful if we didn't...

H: Yeah, whatever. I don't need to go up there.

K: What I...where the hell? Okay.

H: Okay. Whoo! Ghost bolts.

K: Sometimes, wait a minute. Wait. 

H: What?

K: How do I...I wanna get up there!

H: I know you do!

K: I wanna get up, there's a thing!

H: Stand on this bench. I was hoping you weren't gonna notice.

K: (Laughs) There is a slide! You don't want me to go down the slide? Ah...ooh. Look! Look! Look! Look!

H: Look! Aw it put a ball...a ball onto a slide!

K: It's so much fun! Look how much fun it is!

H: I can imagine things being more fun than that. But look! Gold brick!

K: Frickity fricken gold brick! Give it! Gimme that brick!

H: Gold bricks!

K: Ladies love gold.

H: It...we only have one hundred and eighty five left!

K: Hanky Potters love gold.

H: Hanky Potter.

K: Yeah. That guy looks like he needs help.

H: Are you a student in peril?

K: He is.

H: Why is this being projected? It's like not actually there. It's like a movie screen. They have movie screens in Harry Potter?

K: See, I built a trampoline so he can get off of it.

H: And he's no longer in peril! Because he couldn't just fricken jump down off that. No now you...do it.

K: Boing! Boing!

H: Boing! Can I double bounce you?

K: I don't think so. Whoooa! That was fun

H: Oh my god it's fun.

K: Certain characters named Fang can dig up glowing patches of soil.

H: Oh Fang. It's just Fang-ers.

K: I did that one already.

H: Yes you did. Okay!

K: Okay, okay! Follow Sir Nicholas.

H: Okay. Do you rem...do you remember the end of the last one? What time that was?

K: No.

H: Me either. (Sings Harry Potter theme)

K: We kinda tapped this area out a little bit.

H: Yeah we pretty much, pretty much cleaned it out.

K: At this point...who's this creepy person?

H: I don't know! Oh, he's a hand-stander.

K: Weird.

H: This over here, this is where...I

K: This is where you see yourself

H: I throw a rock at your head.

K: Yeah.

H: Oh, where are we going now?

K: I don't know. I'm following the path, man! To a locked gate!

H: Oh, yes! 

K: Somewhere we are going to go later.

H: This does not, uh, seem canon to me.

K: (Laughs)

H: Is that a nerdy complaint? Why can't I pick up this broom? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

K: This one, you mean?

H: No! This one! You can't clean the poop off of this monolith with that broom.

K: Maybe you have to ride this..thing over there. 

H: No.

K: Maybe you need a different spell.

H: Than Wingardium Leviosa?

K: Yeah, maybe you'll eventually get a different spell you can use.

H: Aaaaahhhhhh

K: (Laughs) Okay, stop bouncing on the butt there.

H: Okay, lets go. We can use gold (stumbles over the word cauldron). Gold (says same made up word). Nearly Headless. Nearly. We fixed this bridge all by ourselves because Hogwarts just doesn't have enough money to fix it's own freakin' bridges. Budget cuts.

K: Oh!

H: It's a Christmas tree!

K: Is it Christmas already?

H: It is!

K: My goodness time passes!

H: Yes. Well we have to go through four years in this game.

K: Everyone gets Santa hats.

H: Am I gonna get a sweater? I never get Christmas presents!

K: I'm Harry Potter!

H: I...am also going to get a sweater!

K: Yes you are. Now I can't tell which one I am because our heads are covered.

H: Just jump.

K: That is dumb.

H: (Imitates game sound)

K: I will shoot the pants off of you, stupid talky person. Ah, shoot it. Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it.

H: Shoot it shoot it! Three of five.

K: See, that was, that was...yes three of five. Yes, do it! Yes, complete things!

H: Oh, four of five! It's always four of five and then the fifth one is like you must...in order to get the fifth one you have to jump over the pit of eternal doom, break the unbreakable lock, eat the uneatable corn dog. Hack the unhackable computadora.

K: No such thing as an uneatable corn dog.

H: Probably. I got it! I found it! I got a gold brick, bitch!

K: Get out of my way you stupid students! Ugh!

H: (imitates game sounds again)

K: I'm trying to light this torch damn you! Ugh!!!

H: Yeah you made it do a thing! Let's go. Fat lady. Let me in. Let me in! (Sings like the Fat Lady)

K: Look I'm building a thing, I'm building a thing, I'm building a thing, I'm building a thing. Don't cut me off when I'm building a thing! Woo!

H: Whoa, we made fire.

K: Do you see? Look how many that was.

H: Did you see how many that was.

K: Ahhhhh...okay fine. Let's go.

H: Okay, we're going away.

Both start singing/screaming like the Fat Lady

H: Oh, Ron! Oh I'm Ron! Oh, ah.... Styrofoam peanuts? 

K: Seriously who packs...who packs a sweater in Styrofoam peanuts. Ooh what did I get?

H: This is better than a sweater! Just my feets is out!

K: That is some kind of...fancy pants. I think

H: That's an adorable butt.

K: Tuckus.

H: Tuckus. Oh, Filch. You don't look as old as you do in real...in the movies. What was the, what the the, what the what.

K: Um, maybe that was an apple? Or...

H: Are we supposed to think that you can't see...

K: His head is invisible apparently.

H: But we can see it because of the laws...

K: Yes we need to be able to see his head. Because otherwise we wouldn't know where he was.

H: (Says something while yawning)

K: Are we following Dumbledore into the Restricted Section?

H: Invisibility cloak unlocked! I'm putting it up there.

K: Cloak me, hey. So Hermione's not with us, right...oh because she in uh...

H: No. 'Cause she's a girl! She's sleeping in her room

K: Oh, sorry. No, she's not here, she's at home.

H: Oh right. Right. She's left us books to read

K: She's going skiing in...whatever.

H: I just shot a kitty four times before I realized what I was doing.

K: Press Z to put on the...I'm pressing Z. Again, see? It is doing it.

H: Oh, that's not good. Something tells me that we will not be able to...

K: It's like...there we go! I just had to press it a lot of times!

H: I just shot a cat again!

K: Wait, my...you know that's just Mrs. Norris.

H: I know but I love kitties. I knocked down the things! (Singing) I knocked 'em down!

K: I can't see myself really. I can see my wand.

H: Well you're...ahh I'm being attacked by a book, oh my god, oh my god I'm being attacked by a book!! I died. 

K: It killed you!

H: That was a bad book.

K: Oh my goodness.

H: What spell should I use? Nope that doesn't work.

K: Wow I can not keep track of myself when you keep jumping around like that.

H: I'm trying not to get killed by a book!

K: Whoo. Let's just stay in the same area.

H: Okay. We're best buds.

K: I'll just stay with you.

H: Best buds who...

K: If I can figure out where I am.

H: Just keep shooting. You can see your hands.

K: That's right, I can. I can see my wand. That is convenient.

H: (Sings Hedwig's Theme)

K: Okay so I can't use any other spell while I'm using the cloak.

H: Okay, that's good to...that, that makes perfect sense. Kidding a lot. We've got another nunchuck if you want to switch. Ooh wow, ricochet.

K: That is a...

H: I don't know what I'm doing...

K: You need get another spell out. Maybe Wingardium Leviosa? And Wingardium some stuff.

H: Okay, good call. Well I was mostly worried about that book that killed me.

K: Yeah. We have to do things over here. We got...we got stuff to do, man!

H: Well I picked this up...

K: And then you put it on top of the other books.

H: No, you have to stand on it and jump over me onto those books.

K: Oh, okay. There we go, I am on it. Ahhh!

H: That did not work at all.

K: That is not what we're supposed to do. You can't, you can't direct it at all?

H: Nope.

K: Hmm.

H: I got a purple!!

K: There's another thing up there you had..you had purple.

H: What?

K: See, that. Do it.

H: What is it? Nope. Just bolts.

K: Ughhh. Okay maybe get out of the way while you're doing it? Yes? AH! Why am I so fat?

H: You, you pick me up.

K: I can't! Okay, yes I can, yes I can, yes I can. I'll do it. I'll do it. Ahhhhh which button? Which button, which button? That button, okay. Go!! Yes? Awwww.

H: Yeah, I can totally do it.

K: Okay, you can do it. I couldn't do it with the cloak on maybe.

H: Oh.

K: Okay! Wow, do it.

H: I overshot.

K: Yeah, you did. You overshot both times. Oops, sorry.

H: Wait. Okay.

K: Ready?

H: We have (?~12:38) Oh my god! You don't have to put it down I can jump that far.

K: Why it happens like that?

H: Ahhh!

K: Jump Ron!

H: Oh my god, I...you cannot understand the perspective while playing this game!

K: Yeah. Bouncy! Bouncy. Yes, bouncy! Now jump to the left. Woohoo!!

H: Wooo! I have a thing! I'm gonna pick this fire up. I'm melting ice! I melted the ice.

K: Ahh! Books!! The books do not want you to go in that room

H: I made a thing fly out...

K: Okay?

H: It was weird, I don't know. I got things.

K: You picked up a something.

H: I got a popsicle. I've got a popsicle.

K: Oh I got dead-ed by a book! You bastard!

H: It's a bad book. What do I do with this popsicle?

K: It's trying to get me again, ohhh!

H: Oh it succeeded. (Singing) What do you with popsicles?

K: Shoot the damn book and kill it.

H: (Singing) What do you do with it....

K: There's gotta be a cauldron somewhere. What's this glowy spot right here?

H: Ahh, ahh, ahhhh!! I died.

K: Oh I tried shooting it off of you.

H: Did the popsicles land over there?

K: Yeah. Okay, come over AHH books! Damn you, books! Wow. Wow I hate books.

H: Oh my god, how do you stop them? 

K: Invisibility cloak. Okay. They don't see me when I'm invisible.

H: Okay. Just let me know when you need my popsicle.

K: Hm. Um, okay. Let us explore...but he....yes if you stay over there...alone.

H: Ahhhoooohhhohoooooh

K: Did I just shoot you? Did I just shoot you to death?

H: Yeah you just shot me. But I was okay because that's not even where I need to go. What is that? What is that spot for?

K: Why is it saying C?

H: Use..use Z?

K: No it said C over here. Just, just a second ago. Oh it's just for if you're a booky person.

H: Is that, it's for booky people? Are you sure?

K: Yeah.

H: I don't see the thing. But okay. Ahhhhh nooo!

K: Wow, okay. I think I'm gonna have to do it.

H: But you can't do anything 'cause your cloak is on.

K: Yeah, you're right. Oh god! Oh I did it! Oh, OH! Okay. C is something to do with the book. Okay, okay. Okay I got it.

H: Okay you're gonna...Even though you kinda suck at jumping.

K: Shut up.

H: I don't mean you I mean Harry Potter.

K: Oh I did it, didn't I. 

H: You did Ma'am. Yes Ma'am you did. You wanna know what just did? There's two things up there, there's that one, and there's one behind the thing. 

K: I know, that's a spider. I have to get the...

H: Oh I undid the...I made the thing...I made the cauldron come out.

K: Good, good.

H: And I put my popsicle in it.

K: Give me it...come here! Come here so I can...do I just grab it? Do I just grab it? 

H: Yes just grab it. Grab it off the net. There you go.

K: Can I...can I throw it at you now? 

H: No you have to come down and go back up. Yes! For fun. For fun. Okay. There you go. Come back.

K: Shut up, Norris. (Makes weird sounds as she jumps).

H: Yes, ah so good.

K: Woohoo!

H: Okay, come down here and let's open this and end this episode of Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4.

K: I'm so good at this game!

H: Oh yeah. I feel really good at this game. All the time.

K: (Laughs)

H: Thank you for watching, you will not see us, we will not see you, but you will hear us next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. Goodbye.

K: Goodbye!