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In which John makes a video about his forthcoming entrance into the ranks of doctors. And visits the dentist.

This is probably the most times in the history of nerdfighteria that the word "doctor" has been spoken without being followed by a single "Who."

My tumblr: http://fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/realjohngreen
Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday.

Your video on Friday was really inspirational because it reminded me that even after six and half years of making youtube videos, there is still room to do new things and be creative. And we're so lucky because nerdfighters aren't like go-back-to-doing-the-old-thing. They're willing to change and grow with us. So, in that spirit, I thought that today I would make a video on my way to the dentist.

So Hank, as you know, for many years, I have been the least educated member of our family. You and The Katherine are both Masters of Science. The Yeti is a Master of Art. Whereas I am a mere Bachelor of Arts. And that's just not an impressive title at all, Hank, because anyone can be a bachelor -- all you have to do is be an unmarried male. I mean, my three year old son can't read, but he's a bachelor.

But that's all about to change Hank, because on May 11th, thanks to Butler University, I am going to become a Doctor. Specifically, an honorary doctor.

Hank this means that if I'm on a plane and the flight attendant is like, "Is there a doctor on board?" I can be like "Yes!" And the flight attendant will be like, "This lady is having a heart attack!" And I'll be like, "Well, that's not really my field. I'm an honorary doctor of letters. Maybe I could write her a poem?"

Hank, the degree I'm getting is called a DLit or a Litterarum Doctor, which I might be mispronouncing, because again, the degree is honorary. And it's something called a higher doctorate because technically it's higher than a PhD, which of course stands for Ph, Doctor.

Now, Hank, I know what you're wondering. Am I going to lord it over you now that you are a mere Master and I am a soon-to-be higher doctor? Absolutely not, Hank! As a doctor, I am humble, I'm generous, and I don't judge. Gaaah! I just looked on Wikipedia and it turns out I cannot call myself a doctor. By the way, Wikipedia -- the only source trusted by honorary doctors.

It seems that a few people over the years have called themselves doctor after receiving an honorary doctorate, including noted inventor and founding father of the United States, Benjamin Franklin, who called himself Dr. Franklin after receiving an honorary degree from the College of William and Mary in 1758. But that was the eighteenth century; these days, it is frowned upon to call yourself a doctor when you have not actually earned the title.

Also Hank, you know the lexicographer and professional quote machine Dr. Samuel Johnson? You know the guy who said that hell was paved with good intentions and that patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel, who wrote that a cucumber shall be well sliced, then dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out as good for nothing? Yeah, he was just an honorary doctor! Hank, one more quote from the great honorary doctor, "What is written without effort, is, in general, read without pleasure."

In short, Hank, I will be in excellent company as an honorary doctor but I will still just be a mister. Lastly, Hank, I just wanted to take a second to be grateful while I am in quite a bit of, like, chronic dental pain, I am very happy that the Fault in Our Stars, after 15 months of being out, has returned to number one on the New York Times Bestseller list, passing my friend -- should I call him my friend? Maybe just acquaintance? No, friend! -- my friend Stephen Chbosky, the author of the amazing book, Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is now number two. Suck it, Chbosky!

Hank, DFTBA, I will see you on Friday.