John: Good morning Hank, it's Thursday, it's the fourth day of Pizzamas, and I have just one thing to say:

*Clip of man excitingly screaming at cheez doodles* 

John: Thank you for including this in your video Hank, because I actually think about this man a lot.  I call him cheez doodles guy. And my current number one goal in life is to someday be as excited about something as cheez doodles guy is about cheez doodles.  

But it's a weird facet of human brains that somethings cause that joyful excitement and others don't: Like today the World Health Organization announced that maternal death over the last 25 years has fall 44% worldwide. This is amazing news, arguably even better news than discovering cheez doodles in Antarctica. And yet, while I'm encouraged by this news, I am not cheez doodles guy excited about it.  Which is so weird, humans are so weird.  

But anyway Hank, this video isn't about cheez doodles, it's Thursday, it's question Thursday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters: Let's get right to it.

Why did you shave your beard I just started to like it?

Mostly for the mustache joke but also because it was kind of itchy.  

Who is your least favorite Beatle and what is your least favorite color?

Ringo, silver, that's a funny name, I feel like Ringo Silver would have mustache and maybe a curious hat and a pet monkey and together they would solve crimes.

Hey, how many pizza John shirts can you wear at the same time?

Oh, I can wear all of them, and fairly comfortably as it turns out. None the less, I think I'm going to stick with just the one for now. 

Do you know any more dad jokes?  

I feel like dad jokes aren't something you know so much as they're something you are.  Like every time I'm putting the dishes I always say "Tupperware, Tupperware, Tupper-here!"  And then I go to the Tupperware drawer, and then Sarah looks at me with just, absolute disgust.  

Pizza or-?

Pizza, it's always pizza.

How do you feel about vegetables?

They're great on pizza.

What should I get my boyfriend for Christmas?

Might I recommend pizza John shoelaces, the perfect gift for someone who has everything except for a way to keep their shoes on: Available only during Pizzamas! At DFTBA.com.

What's your opinion on licorice?

Strongly in favor!

How do you become well read?

I don't know, I mostly read books that are recommended to me by people that I trust, but I will give you a book recommendation: This amazing, weird sci-fi book Midnight Robber, I love it!

Would you consider getting a real tattoo now that you've gotten a fake one?

Well, I don't think my tattoo is fake, it was just made with water instead of ink, so it's not technically visible, but it's still real.  I would consider getting more invisible tattoos.

What do you think about ducks?

Well I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what happens to them when the pond freezes over in winter, I'll tell you that.  

How do you become okay with being truly alone?

Okay, so I would argue that you're both never and always truly alone.  Like you're always truly alone in the sense that no one can ever fully comprehend your experience or live inside your consciousness.  But you're also never truly alone because just by virtue of living or having left that comment, you're part of this massive interconnected web of life on Earth.  And that web is grateful to have you here, and when I can remember that it helps give me the energy to connect more meaningfully with other people, whether it's online, or in real life, and in turn that makes me feel more aware of this big web that I'm part of, which makes me feel less alone.

What is the opposite of guacamole.?

Elomacaug.

In 50 years, what country do you think will be the world’s biggest super power?

I think in general, nation states will be slightly less important than they are now, but I'm gonna say India. 

What's your favorite research chemical?

What am I, Walter White?

What should I get my girlfriend for our three year anniversary?

Let me answer your question with a question: does your girlfriend enjoy drinking liquids?  Because if so she might enjoy this Pizza John travel mug available for pre order only during Pizzamas at DFTBA.com

How do I deal with the death of my cactus?

Well, things will get easier with time but, I think for a while, at least, you're going to feel a little prickly.  I'm sorry, I hate myself.  
Do you still have any leftover Halloween candy? 

If you mean does your 2 year old daughter still have some leftover Halloween candy and you eat it occasionally because she's 2 and won't notice, then yes.

Hank! Happy Pizzamas! Yaaaaah! Nope, you know I'm excited about Pizzamas, I'm just not that excited. I'll see you tomorrow.

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