So something I've been thinking about, uh, and that people have asked me a lot about, and that I've also struggled with a lot, is the concept of what do you do if you're never gonna matter? Like, how do you get over the crushing weight of knowing that you are never going to influence the world in a significant way?

Um, because that- is that like an innate thing, that we all want that? We want to have that impact on the world? Like- you wanna matter! I'm gonna go back to two times in my past, like, moments in my history that I remember that I related to this.

First, sitting in my friend's- at my best friend's house in high school with all- all of my best friends. We would always just go to this one person's house. We would hang out and... do nothing, you know? We'd, like, wrestle and like, we'd play vacuum cleaner fights where we'd fight for the vacuum cleaner and give each other vacuum cleaner hickeys. And we'd listen to Hanson and Marilyn Manson and the Bloodhound Gang and Reel Big Fish - and it didn't matter that we didn't matter. We didn't think about what mattering was. Like, because the only thing that we thought about was each other and ourselves.

And then I remember, years- you know, three of four years later being in college and I had this recurring fantasy, uh, this is horrible and sad... That there would be some kind of apocalypse, and that, through my ingenuity and my charisma, um... I would be able to secure a position as an important leader in the post-apocalyptic world, that I never could have with the current structures of how the world currently exists, because you can't. You can't gain power in this world as it currently exists, but maybe if zombies killed off 95% of the population, I can rise to the top of the pile of what was left. And then I could matter! And like, how fucked up is that, right?! Like, that- that that's a fantasy?!

What has become obvious to me now, having spent time um, having had the opportunity to matter to a lot of people - which is something I'm very grateful for and that has allowed me a great of perspective and um, and that I will never stop being grateful for - is that really what it comes down to is mattering to the people who matter to you.

And it's not about some kind of objective idea of the influential life - it's all about who you care about and how the people you care about, care about you. And that's... And that, like, goes right back to those moments when all that mattered, uh, was each other. And that we didn't- that it didn't matter that we didn't matter.

So what it really comes to is that you're not trying to matter to the world - you're trying to matter to people. So how do you matter to someone? Like, really.

(outro screen)

Are we done?
Just gonna let me sit here? Stew?
You're the director! (Hank smiles and shakes his head)
I don't know. He's behind the camera so he's in contro- (video ends)