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In which I attempt to answer the question: is it okay to be sexy?

Costumes in order of appearance:
~Sexplanations' steampunk necklace from
~Matador made by Lindsey and friends
~Cop "cap"
~32 y.o. student
~Vampire donated by awesome fan

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In Montana, it's about 50 degrees cold outside, that's 10 degrees Celsius, brr!
Yet here's the costume selection for Halloween this year: I love it! I don't care if it makes absolutely no sense that it's cold outside or that Freddy Krueger has sex appeal. I love that people have found a way to express their sexy selves, even if it means having to add a creepy, illogical connection to Halloween.
Hya! The holiday that gives us permission to be sexy. It does beg the question for the rest of the year though: is it okay to be sexy?
If I take off the ribbons that communicate she's a ninja, can I wear these sexy little get-up to class and sessions with clients? Culturally, sexy goes something like this: Yes, be sexy, but only under these conditions that we determine for you. Sexy songs, sexy ads, sexy clothes, sexy moves. After marriage, but not with kids at home and only at a certain age. I'm speaking for this culture. I recognize they're all different, which is part of the point. Being sexy is not only conditional within a culture, it's varied across cultures.

Historically, sexy has been a path to partnerships, love, owning stuff, and in many ways, staying alive. By piquing another person's sexual interest, people throughout history have been able to entice partners, secure business deals, get jobs, and homes, and straight-up money. Wouldn't you say that sexy plays a part in casting these characters? Financially, this beauty bias pays the bill. On the other hand, sexy is very expensive. Many say sexy is confidence, but even then, confidence is emulated or expressed via hair removal, make-up, eating to get bigger, eating to get smaller, braces, fashion, fancy nails, cosmetic surgery, pricey accessories, careers, cars, bling.

For many, that's livelihood. Sexy is how some people afford to live. For others, it's how they die. All over the world, people are killed by their families or communities for "dishonoring" their families or communities. Among the reasons, having sex outside marriage and dressing in ways which are deemed inappropriate. Honor killings, as they are called, account for thousands of deaths each year.

Physically, dying as, of course, a vote for sexy is not okay. But there are also more prevalent, less fatal arguments like the damage heels do to the spine, toxic breast implants, anabolic steroids and carcinogenic make-up. Pain is beauty?

Proponents of sexy would argue; sexy physically enhances appearance, reinforces self-care like good hygiene, inspires people to move their bodies, and maybe even be sexual, which has all sorts of physical benefits.

What's the legal stance? Federally, there is nothing illegal about being sexy. There's actually protection for sexy under the rules of evidence, which prohibit inclusion of a victim's sexuality as evidence for sex crimes, meaning it is actually illegal to bring up aspects of a person's sexuality when making a case, with exceptions. Sexy with it's super-complicated, super-objective definition is hard to regulate but places have tried. In 2011, Utah worked to pass a law banning sexy behavior with the intention that it would protect the undercover cops having to act sexy and it would regulate the sex workers illegally acting sexy.

Schools have also tried to regulate sexy. In this case, through dress codes. Not necessarily because the clothing intended to be sexual, but because it elicited sexual excitement. As in "I control what you wear because it does or doesn't make me feel sexy." Intellectually, the thinking is that sexy is not okay because it distracts other students and faculty from academia. I relate it to perfume. If your perfume is part of your self-expression, great! If someone has an allergy to it or an aversion, it is respectful to not wear the perfume around this person. It doesn't mean that you don't smell good or that you aren't yourself. It means that you've chosen to be respectful. If you do wear the perfume and the person who doesn't like it punches you in the face, that's assault. Restricting your use of body sprays isn't the solution. Anger management, therapy. They are the solutions.

The known psychological downfalls of being sexy are more related to the inner conflicts with the rest of the list. Culture, finances, what's best physically, legally, and intellectually. Psychologically and emotionally, is sexy okay? Being sexually attractive, seductive, sultry, and arousing. Yes, if that's how you want to think of yourself and feel. Sexy can be a new way to relate to your body, it can boost self-esteem, it can shift you out of monotonous sex scripts.

Sexually, being sexy can turn you on. It can turn others on. It can make a big ol' party out of liberated sexual expression. It can also lead to sex and a higher need for communication and protection. Halloween is a time and a place to be your sexy self. You decide if that's okay. Stay curious. Quick sex tip for this time of year: All these sexy costumes go on sale for a few days right after Halloween. If you're looking for role-playing adventures or just some outfits to mix things up, it's a great time to buy. But hey, you don't need anything to be sexy.