Hank: Hello, and welcome to Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. Last time, we saved Harry from...well we didn't do anything. Firenze saved Harry. And there's fricken Voldemort. Stickin' out of the back of some dude's head.

Katherine: Being suspicious.

H: Very suspicious. But no one will be suspicious of him. Misdirection!

K: Going up into the...what do they...what did they call that? The third year corridor...the third floor...

H: The, the, third floor corridor.

K: Off limits!

H: To anyone who does not wish a most horrible death. Or some such.

K: Leviosaaa! God, you always beat me to it!

H: Because I'm fast! Why are these things broken again?

K: Uh...maybe you never fixed them before because you didn't have Wingardium Leviosa.

H: Maybe. What the...(mumbles some made up words). What are you doing? What is going on?

K: I am freeing little house elves, maybe. I don't know.

H: Maybe? What? I'll take this one. It was turkey.

K: Fishes. It was fishes.

H: I thought it looked like turkey legs.

K: You, you, you...

H: I am a pescatarian!

K: You liberated fishes. I don't understand. Hello? Can you switch the staircase for us please? Someone? Hello?

H: (Mocking Katherine's voice) Switch the staircase!

K: Give it the right direction.

H: We're going to see Fang! Are we ending this already?

K: What are you talking about?

H: It seems as if we're ending this already.

K: I will shoot your butt!

H: Why do we not just kill you??

K: I will shoot all of your parts, in fact.

H: Starting with your butt.

K: (Laughs) I'll shoot your butt a lot! Then I will shoot your head and everything.

H: Huh? Oh my gosh, we're already at the end of...(keeps talking while yawning).

K: What...What is happening? We're not at the end of Chamber of Secrets.

H: I mean the other one!

K: Philosopher's Stone?

H: Philosopher's Stone!

K: Yes. Ahhh. Well, there's still quite a lot to do.

H: That's not gonna work, Ron. (Mocks Ron's trumpet playing). How about instead, we make a run for it!! No?

K: How about I shoot him?

H: How about I shoot this bathing wizard!

K: How about I shoot this painting! Yes! Shoot everything!

H: What are you gonna do about...

K: Oh god, I fell off the edge!

H: Is it a pacifier? Did he give me a pacifier?

K: Aw, yes it's a squeaky toy! It's a squeaky toy, give it to him. Give it to him. Give...give it. Give it! Ahhh! 

H: Take it! Squeaky toy. Squeaky toy! (Imitates squeaky toy's sound). Apparently I know Engorgio.

K: You love rubber ducky, right? You love it! You squeak that squeaky...oh look! Look, look, look it's a thing. I'll build it up. Build it up.

H: Yes. What is it, a hatch? Am I building a hatch? Oh, it's a harp. We're gonna turn on the harp.

K: Oh that's handy. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh get it.

H: Oh, and now he's not on the thing anymore. There's a blue stud by that scary, giant, evil thing.

K: Mmmm.

H: You got that blue stud.

K: I think you maybe got it.

H: Ahh! Ahh!

K: Okay, wow. Give it to me. This...Wingardium Leviosa.

H: Devil's Snare. Devil's Snare. Deadly fun.

K: Let him soak in the sun.

H: Let IT!

K: (In mock English accent) Ohhhh!

H: (In mock English accent) Ohhh

K:  The acting in this movie was not on par...

H: Not as good. Not as good. But, you know, they were little kids!

K: Okay, what have we done here?

H: We...

K: Whoa!! I made a hole, I fell through it.

H: You did it. You went through the hole.

K: (Laughs) I discovered what we did! I fell through a hole.

H: Take that!

K: What are these little red things that I'm shooting.

H: I don't know. They're red...dust.

K: Uh, they look like roots or something.

H: Red stone dust. Roots, possibly.

K: I think they're roots.

H: Um...Go away. Ahh! Keys! Oh, there's a giant one. Ahhh. Oh do you remember playing this one? I remember watching you play it and you not enjoying yourself.

K: (Groans) I don't want to do it again, in fact. I think you should do it.

H: Do I have to be Harry?

K: Yes, you should become Harry. There you go.

H: I'm Harry. This is me.

K: Now you should fly around like a doofus.

H: I'm a little Potter. (Singing) short and stout!

K: I put a bucket on that guys head! Haha! He fell over! 

H: Haha! Where's the...where's the broomstick?

K: It's right...it's right here.

H: Oh. Come here. This sounds like fun to me!

K: Yup. You like the flying. I don't like it.

H: How do you go up?

K: Push the big button.

H: Big button? Big button.

K: There you go.

H: What do I have to do?

K: I don't know. That was the question, I think. For a long time.

H: I'm approaching it.

K: I couldn't...couldn't remember what to do.

H: True wizard! Remember? What do you mean, from the book?

K: No I...I can't remember what I did.

H: Oh! Oh, okay.

K: I found it difficult and frustrating.

H: Ohhhh!

K: I think you have to get off on that thing.

H: Yeah, I thought I might have to do that too but I've lost my broomstick.

K: It should reappear...

H: Okay.

K: There you go. It respawns. You do it. Get up there. Get up on that thing! Uhhhhhh...yes get off on the platform. Awwwwwww!

H: Aghhhhhh!!

K: See? Frustrating. Frustratering. It doesn't help that...how do I, how do I back out?

H: Back out?

K: Yeah, how do I...

H: Of what?

K: I'm just gonna drop out for a second.

H: Oh, right. 

K: So that it doesn't split screen on you.

H: So that it's not split screening us, yeah. That's a good...thank you. Good point.

K: 'Cause this is a one man job anyway. Maybe you shoot the crap out of it? Okay, nope.

H: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Baaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

K: That was a fail. That was a flying Harry...Hanky Potter fail. Hanky Potter!

H: But wasn't it cute?

K: No that was definitely a fail. That was today's fail. Um. Shoot the crap out of it.

H: Shoot the crap out of...no? That didn't work.

K: Try a different spell! Wing it! Wingardium! No?

K: (After cut) You're supposed to shoot 'em. You're like...shooting everywhere but at them

H: Yeah, because they're not supposed to be shot at. Give me a video. Oh my god it worked! Oh my god, I did it! Oh my god, what the frick?

K: I don't understand. Keep shooting at them.

H: I...I don't understand either. Maybe, maybe you have to be on the broom for it to work.

K: Okay, maybe.

H: Which is the dumbest thing ever. Yes. You have to be on the broom for it to work. I am not impressed. I am not impressed!

K: Yeah that's balls. That's balls!

H: Okay, well we cut some out of that, because clearly...

K: That took far too long.

H: That took far too long. Get it in the giant key hole! Good lord.

K: (Laughs) I want to stick that in somewhere very uncomfortable.

H: What? (Laughs)

K: Anyway. That's the end of this episode of Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4 because it is taking too long.

H: That took too long!

K: Sorry about that.

H: And we...yes. I, hopefully it wasn't too annoying for you.

K: Yes, but we will not see you, you will not see us but you will hear us next time on LEGO...

H: Harry Potter

K: Hanky, Hanky Potter Years 1-4 Goodbye.

H: Goodbye!