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View count:26,141
Last sync:2024-06-07 22:45
In which Hank kills a LOOOT of people
And I am back. I am (unintelligible noises) to escape from the Castello with Caterina and head for the stables. And I - full synchronization is do not be detected, which I plan on failing, by the way. Ummm, whaaa, for example. Almost failed just then. Uh, how am I supposed to avoid detection from this guy who's right here? He's walking. He did not come up to... into the room. Excellent. Whoa. Okay, full synchronization failed.

Uhm, why aren't you dead yet? I hate when you don't die. Now, this guy, this southside man has sent me a letter. (Why save me Ezio? with Forlì taken, I am useless to you.) Who said you're useless to me? (You have a family) Also, many skills. Many skills I can use. Alright, we've got the sparkly pyramid up here. Excellent. I have achieved sparkly pyramid state. Uhm, that guard was going past but he is no longer... no longer worried about him. (They're not your family. That night at the Villa. I had to ensure our allegiance to protect Forlì. Do you understand, Ezio?) I don't know what you're talking about. (E la politica. Of course. I knew it. You need not explain.) Oh, it's politics. I just have to put you down for a second, and go back and kill this guy without him noticing us. That's my job.

Come here, baby. We're gonna do this some more. Oh, I can sort of jog while holding her. Oh shoot. Oh jeez. Ow! Why did that take me so long to recover from? I'm not really sure what happened. That was an awesome close-up.

Alright, so Caterina, where are we headed now, baby? Which way? Which way? Where is the sparkly triangle? Is it this way? (Caterina. Did they...? Did Cesare...?) Did Cesare. (No. My name must still have some small value. I was left... unspoiled.) Oh. That's good. Excellent. That's great. And... Are you going to fall down there? 'Cause that would be cool. Nope. Ah, that would have been cool. Why didn't you fall down there? Do I have to go down here? With my girlfriend? 'Cause that seems dangerous. Oh, there's a- there's hay, so we'll be fine. Uh, I am a master at using hay for all kinds of things, but, uh, one of them involves jumping off of things. 

(Don't you dare) Oh, don't worry about it. I know all about hay. Swan dive! People have been wanting me to say that. Assassination from hay bale. Yes, I know how to do that. (Never do that to me again) We couldn't all fit in there. Well, you know, I'll do it if it's necessary to save your life. I'll throw you into hay all day long, if you know what I mean.

Alright. Oh, oh jeez. He saw us. He saw us. You see nothing. 'Cause I've stabbed out your eyes. Oh, I have 10,000 florin. That's a lot. Alright, looking around the corner, here. Shouldn't be possible, but it is. Cool. Ah, I didn't even notice that guy. When I looked around the corner, but he's there.

And, he's dead now. Which is, uh, to be expected, I guess. At this point, I-I'm not surprising you with my killings. (It seems to open from over there) Turn the cranks to open the gates. Where are the cranks? Can I put her- can I put you down here? Is that safe? Okay. That doesn't seem safe, but I'm doing it anyway.

Return to target. Okay. One of two gates opened! Turning the crank! This is totally... if I knew that there was an intruder in my castle, I probably would have manned the cranks. Can I get to this other one? Where is it? Where is the crank? Where is my sparkly crank? Where is it? How do I get there? This looks like I could make it from here, as long as I don't get too far away from my target. Okay, excellent.

Interacting with sparkly bits, and two of two opened. Carry Caterina out of the Castello. The Castello, not the Costello. Elvis Costello.

Drop. Drop. Okay! Let's go, honey. Let's go. I can't believe I saved you. Somebody... for some reason, I thought I had been spoiled and that she was going to die. And, uh, I'm very happy that she's- do not be detected. Ah, that did not happen. That did not happen. Alright, honey, get on that horse. (Hurry, Ezio) (Ride across the bridge. I will cover you) I will- okay, we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight. Escort Caterina on horseback as she flees from the Castel Sant'Angelo. I don't know where I got a del from. Achieve a kill streak of at least 5 guards for full synchronization.

Uhm, X it is. Let's go. You have A to stand- hold RT and tap A to stand on my horse. Oh yes, nicely done. Oh, I have to reduce my distance to target! Excuse me, excuse me cardinals. Trample. Horse of trample. Oh, did she get away? (Go to Isla Tiberina. Find Machiavelli there. He will be waiting for me) No, good. (What about you?) Well, that was not a kill streak of five guards, that's for sure. (Someone has to stay here and distract the guards) Oh. (Get back in one piece, or I will never forgive myself) Oh, don't worry about me. (Go!) Killing guards is what I do best. I'm like a professional guard killer.

(6:47) Alright. You first. Oh, poorly done, Hank. Okay, you, and you, and you- ah, you broke my streak, jerkface. You, and you. Shoot, shoot! Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. D-d-d-die die die. D-d-d-d die die die. Okay, who's next? You? Okay. Okay, I gotta pay attention to who's attacking next. There are little things- little things flash above their heads. Oh, pff. And you go down, and I stab you while you're down. Oh, come on. That's lame.

Stab him. Oh no! Yes, good. Oh, hey there. Ho there. Hey there. Ow! What is going on? Ah! Whoa, too many. Too many people. What is that? What's going on? Why is it burning? What's happening? It's on fire. Okay, I don't understand.

Outrun or break- Oh, I have to hide. I thought maybe I would keep killing people. 'Cause it's just fun! Ah, it is fun. It's fun. But I'm gonna- I'm gonna hide, because that is what I've been told to do. So, let's go. Let's go faster. Oh jeez. Oh wow, you guys are big. You guys are big. Out of my way. Okay. Uhm, nope, nope, nope. What you did there was a waste of time, Ezio.

Okay, I have to become anonymous. Alright. Nobody sees me, at least. No one is currently seeing me. Get up on the thing, and the thing, and the thing. And, excellent. Full synchronization complete, I achieved a kill streak of at least 5 guards. That's very exciting, and I have finished! I have done the thing that I came to do. I have saved my girlfriend. I did not kill any of the people I was supposed to kill. I don't know why I didn't kill Lucretia. She seems to be a complete jerk, but I decided not to, despite the fact that I had many chances, and, in fact, did kill her once, if I remember correctly and it totally desynchronized, so I unkilled her, which is a little disappointing.

There's a Borgia captain right there. Maybe I can lock onto him, and get this out. No, not that, this. Can I kill him from here? Probably not. I'm gonna try and get him. Oh, hi guys. I don't need you right now, thanks.

What is going on? Why can't I see? What is going on? Doo da doo. I don't know- who are you? Oh! That's a- that's how I decrease my notoriety. Nothing happened. I just lost my notoriety by killing that guy.

Okay! That is the end, though. That is the end of this episode of Hank plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0. And, you will not see me, I will not see you, but you will hear me tomorrow. Goodbye.