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Last sync:2022-11-06 16:00
In which Hank searches for the Death Star plans, and then kills a bunch of horses... mostly accidentally. Bang!

(0:00) All right, I am back! And Leonardo's designs have resulted in a machine capable of cutting down 100 men in mere seconds. It cannot be left in the hands of the Borgia, and I must destroy it, hopefully before- I want to destroy it before killing anybody, so that I can achieve full synchronization. And that's what I'm doing right now.

(0:16) Why didn't I land in the thing...? Okay, where is it? Detection by the Borgia will cause desynchronization. Borgia detection --  causes desynchronization -- Don't be detected by the Borgia, Hank. Don't be detected by the Bo-or-gia. Nope. Nope. Can you duck? Is there a way to duck? Just gonna walk away from you. Just gonna walk- oh. Oh jeez, there's a lot of them. There's a lot of them. I feel as if I've been detected.

(1:06) Uh... Everybody seems to have detected me a lot. Okay, hide. All right... So far so good. This guy chased me a little bit, but he didn't find me, so that's good. I'm in this thing...

(1:37) Oh, jeez. That guy's big. That's a big dude. Where are the plans? Where are the Death Star plans? O...kay. Is that where they are? Is that them? Is that the plans?

(2:14) What? Do not kill anybody? Ooooh, it said that, it said do not kill anybody, and there I went, killing somebody. Right on his face. Intentionally. Oh, it's the infinite pink and blue grid. Of fail. Okay, well, we'll do better this time.

NPC: We must be ready to take it to safety should anything happen.

Okay. We must be ready to take it to safety. I think I had a pretty good plan for how to do it the first-uh time, so I'm just going to do that again.

(2:52) That was pretty spastical, but, uh, it worked. So... Going this way. Oh, nobody here. Nobody here. Nope.

NPCs: Where did he go?

He didn't go anywhere. Excellently done, Ezio. Who's that guy? Is that a bad guy? Doesn't look like a bad guy. Okay. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-duuun. Okay... Whoa. Nope, I wanted you to go forward. Drop forward. Good.

(3:49) Destroying the shop... Oh, that's so nice of them, to leave that fire right there. Um... What do I do now? What do I do now? Do I go out of this place? Hello? Hello? Goodbye? I don't know why you say goodbye, say hello? Oh, I have to destroy the machine gun itself now. Okay. That makes sense. I didn't realize that they built--gyaaah!--one.

Okay, where is the machine gun? Okay... Is that it? Where is it? Is it in here? O...kay. Not entirely sure how to do this.

(4:48) Oh. So nice of them to put the gunpowder right here. Okay, Ezio, I'm-I'm telling you: a good idea would be to leave fast. Oh there's only a matter of seconds! Okay. Oh, they didn't even notice me! I feel very Splinter Cell right now. Oh, wait, what's that? It's the machine gun! It's leaving! Oh, I'm on a horse. Stop the fleeing machine gun! I will. Yeah, it's fast. It's not that fast. I'm -- I'm galloping. Let me tell you, I am holding RT, and A. I'm doing it. I'm doing it, and as much as I -- eehh--aa--kay, okay, I'm going this way. That's fine. Just hop over this. Good horse.

(5:36) Oh, well I'm glad they seem to have done a really bad job of hitting me with it, thanks. Uh, because otherwise I would be so dead. There's a red dot on the map. I don't like that. Is that -- what is the red dot? Is the red dot the thing I'm chasing -- oh God, oh God, here it comes again! That -- that just seems really unlikely that there would be all of that timber ready to fall down on me. Oh, yeah, I'm going to access the database now, and read about the Lagode-dim-de-dim-de-demy? What with the stopping, horse, nothing happened. I did not stop it. I clearly did not stop the thing that I was supposed to stop.

(6:11) Wait, here I go. Okay. I don't even have to -- I -- Good. Oooh!. . .Oh, hidden, double hidden blade! So, and I shoot you too, because it's not enough that I stabbed you in the spine. It's cool. I got it. What am I going to do with it now? LB for Tactical Camera. I have to escape with -- to steer into attacking horsemen. Ohh, horsie. I don't know where I'm going to. Die!

Ezio: They're not very smart, are they?

(6:56) Oh, they're -- they're doing their best, Ezio. I just steer, that's all I do? That wasn't very exciting. But -- oh, now I'm in the back with the machine gun. This is going to be much more exciting. Okay, so, it's not your Call of Duty style machine gun. Gotcha. . .gotcha. . .gotcha. . .ooh, I didn't even get you. Oh, I'm kind of sorry -- Okay, the horse is fine. That's good. Trying to shoot just the riders and not the horses. Because I am an animal rights -- I'm, I'm a vegetarian.

(7:51) Oh jeez, oh jeez, that did not seem safe. What is going on? Okay, well I should be safe now. Considering. Nope, I'm not.

(8:13) Oh, horse collision.

Ezio: Stay on the road!

Oh, see, I'm accidentally totally hitting the horses. That makes me feel really bad. Okay, they're shooting me a lot. Okay. This is a long mission in which I shoot a lot of horses. But I do have to say that it is fun, despite the fact that I have to kill horses. And that makes me very sad. Hello? Oh, we're -- oh, what just happened? Okay. No one is steering this thing. There are -- there is no drivers. No drivers. Aah. Oh, I am bad at controlling. Bad.

(9:16) And in a canyon. Wait for the crosshairs to turn pink. Okay. Good, good. Oh, you're going to shoot me. I'm glad they're not shooting the giant -- I'm glad I've got a lot of medicine before I did this. What? Seriously, how many of them are there? That was a lot. Where did they go?

Ezio: Go home!

Go home!

Ezio: All of you will die!

All of you will die! That's about how I'm feeling. Go home, all of you will die. All right. Getting back in the driver's seat. And -- what are you doing now, Ezio? Oh -- I don't know, why didn't you do that to start? That would have been much easier. Very intelligent. Very well done. "Bang!" is the name of that gamer tag achievement score. I didn't kill anybody before destroying the blueprints, I should've got a hundred percent sync on that! I don't understand. Why did I not?

(10:32) Anyway, infinite grid. Um, I'm going to call that the end of that episode, because that was long and tiring, and I have some other stuff that I have to do today, as you might imagine. So I have to go, but thank you for, uh, playing with me -- that's weird. That's a weird thing to say, Hank. And, uh, you will not see me, I will not see you, but you will hear me, next time, on Brotherhood -- Hank Green plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0. Goodbye.