Previous: Ask Lindsey #5: The Future of Sex, Books, and Other Types of Dry Humping - 28
Next: What is Consent? - 30



View count:102,717
Last sync:2022-10-28 06:45
In which Lindsey answers more of your questions like, "Are there male sex toys?" and "What's the difference between Bisexual and Pansexual?"

Get your FREE audio book:

Lindsey is in transit from L.A. and will add the resources mentioned in the video tonight!

You can ask Lindsey Questions at:

Host: Dr. Lindsey Doe

Directing/Filming/Editing: Nicholas Jenkins

Titles: Michael Aranda

Executive Producer: Hank Green

Music Used In This Episode: Mining by Moonlight by Kevin MacLeod
Now I answer the questions!

I've always been confused by terminology. Is a transvestite the same as a drag queen? Alright, so transvestites, or TV's, are people who cross-dress. They wear the clothing of the opposite gender role. A drag queen is typically a man, homosexual, who wears female's clothing but to a dramatic degree. Big eye makeup and poofy wig, sometimes even prosthetic breasts or butt cheeks. A drag king is someone who identifies as female but dresses as male for the same intent of a drag queen. They're looking to perform or pick up somebody who might be interested in that flamboyance. And then there are faux queens and kings who are the same gender as the royalty would imply, but they are upping it, they're going over the top to emulate the drag queens and kings.

Every time I tell someone I'm pansexual, they say isn't that the same as being bisexual? I'm looking for a way to explain it to them so they understand. Mmmk, so I go with the explanation of prefixes. Bi as a prefix means two. Two sexes, two genders, male and female, and pan as a prefix refers to all, so you have two-spirit and gender-fluid, gender-queer, trans and intersex. A pansexual person could be attracted to all of these expressions whereas a bisexual person is attracted to one or the other. Bi or pan, one isn't better than the other, they're just different ways to describe different preferences.

Are there sex toys for men? Absolutely! Toys aren't necessarily gender-specific but there are toys designed for certain body parts like vaginas and nipples and penises and scrotums. Anal products, like beads and cones and plugs, are used to stimulate the male prostate, which can enhance orgasm for a guy. So-called "pocket pussies" or artificial orifices are other "for-the-man" products. The penis, lubed up, is thrust in and out of a rubbery sleeve to give the sensation of penetration while masturbating. There are also dolls and cock rings and vibrators and BDSM gear and position cushions.

I want to know what the scientific term for not being able to label yourself is. Not labeling yourself or not wanting to label yourself? I like the term "ineffable," the same one I talked about in the asexuality video. It means that you can't describe it because it's so great. I also think that you can design your own neologism for this idea. It's fun, right? I tried "alabel" because "a" as a prefix means "without" so it's kind of like "without a label."

Please talk to me about polyamorous relationships and sex with three or more people. I need help! Polyamory, meaning love for more than one person at a time. I'm going to give you some incredible resources for this. First, the Threesome Handbook, which is going to cover your three-person relationship. Then, the Ethical Slut, and finally Franklin Veaux, V-E-A-U-X, I think that's how you pronounce it. More on him (points below) including an amazing non-monogamy map.

Do you believe that it is better/healthier for somebody questioning to not find a title on the sexual spectrum or to be open to all experiences regardless of orientation or classification? I'm glad we have options. For one person, it could serve them better to settle on a title and to build an identity around that and for another person it could be great for them to have experiences and figure out what that's going to look like, if it's ever going to settle at all. What matters is that they have the option to learn about their sexuality and navigate it in whatever works for them.

Thank you for creating a more sex-positive environment! You're welcome for the environment. Thank you for the feedback.

This episode of Sexplanations is brought to you by Audible is an Amazon company that reads books to you. I was first introduced to it watching the Brain Scoop when Emily suggested a natural history find. You can find sex books on there, too! Type "sexuality" or "sex" into the search bar and scroll through audiobook selections for your next road trip or crafting session. I'm particularly pleased with audible's recording of the Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, for all of us who live with disabilities, chronic pain and illness, by an incredible team of authors: Dr. Miriam Coffman, Corey Silverberg and Fran Odette. As you know, I value this book for everybody's sexuality. makes it even more accessible by making an audio version. Can't see well or not at all? Don't read? Audible's so smart! You can get this book free when you try out their service, or this book, or this book. Audible, I have a squish on you!