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MLA Full: "Hank's Haircut and Related Existential Crises." YouTube, uploaded by vlogbrothers, 31 March 2015,
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In which John addresses the pressing matter of Hank's haircut. John is playing FIFA right now (as of 2pm ET) on Twitch: and you can follow the many adventures of the AFC Wimbly Womblys here on YouTube:

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Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday.

So we need to talk about your last Vlogbrothers video, and not the one where the Gregory Brothers song-ified our fight about Batman, the one before that where you talked about... I actually don't remember what you talked about because I was too focused on this.

So Hank, Nerdfighter reviews of your new hair cut were universally positive, but then again, Nerdfighteria is a very supportive and loving community, whereas I am your brother.

Hank, in my my life I've had three major hair styles. For about the past fifteen years I've had some variation of short on the sides, messy up top. Before that, for many years I had a hair cut called "The Junior Senator from Maryland" and then of course there was my original hair cut "Toad from Mario Kart."

Meanwhile Hank, your entire life you've had just the one hair style, which I call The Hank, I can't even describe the exact properties of The Hank to you because it just is. It's like trying to describe water to a fish. "The Hank" is that which sits atop Hank's head. And then suddenly, change! Unannounced, radical change!

Now Hank as you know, I'm not a huge fan of change. I just think change is tremendously overrated. People are always like: "Life is change!" And that's true, but you know what else is change? Death. But Hank, your hairstyle change upset me particularly because it reminded me a little bit of Kennedy's haircut. You know, the left-back of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys, the fictional soccer team I play FIFA 14 with.

Now Hank I realize when it comes to hair I live in the glassiest of glass houses, but I've been throwing rocks at Kennedy's hair for years now. And then, suddenly, my own brother adopts a version of The Kennedy. Well Hank, this led to a bit of an existential crisis. Now Hank, admittedly, these days it doesn't take much to point me in the direction of an existential crisis, but I started thinking about my brother, who is a real person in real life I really like, and then there's Kennedy, a very talented, but fictional, left-back who's technically made out of pixels. But now in my head they're connected, so anything I say about Kennedy's hair I'm sort of implying about your hair.

And the whole thing just made me think about how nothing that happened in one's so called "virtual life" could ever be fully disconnected from what happens in your so called "real life", right? I think realness might be more of like a continuum than an actual thing, you know? Like ultimately, self-hood and relationships and experiences and FIFA playing and whatever else are varying degrees of real rather than simply real or not.

Like Hank, in my life there are two AFC Wimbledons, right? There are the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys, a fictional FIFA team who have worked their way up from League Two and are now enjoying their first season in the Premier League, and it's going great because Bald John Green and Other John Green, our two strikers, have found renewed form since the adoption of their baby boy JJ. And that whole Wimbly Wombly world is to quote Severus Snape "Real for Us", us being the weird and lovely people who support the Wimbly Womblys. And then we use the ad revenue from that series to sponsor the other AFC Wimbledon, you know, the real one. That AFC Wimbledon is an actual professional Soccer team in England, but it started 13 years ago from nothing except a bunch of fans who had the idea to make a soccer team.

The fact that imagination and work can make ideas real is what finally resolved this existential crisis, because it's like the most beautiful and lovely thing about life to me. The whole thing just made me want to support AFC Wimbledon more if we can, so I'm gonna try to do more video gaming stuff. I've, started a Twitch TV channel, and even though I don't really know how it works I'm gonna try broadcasting today. There's a link in the doobly-doo.

So basically Hank, your new haircut made me think about what's real and what's not real and how much I admire people like you and the founders of AFC Wimbledon for working so hard to make awesome things real. And then I was like, you know what? I kind of like Hank's new haircut, which, by extension means that I guess now I kinda like Kennedy's haircut in FIFA.

This was a very weird Vlogbrothers video. I will see you on Friday.