Jimmy: Good morning.

Charlie: I am Charlie.

J: I'm Jimmy

C: And on today's show: babies. Both normal and regal.

Both: But which is which? It's Cereal Time!

(Intro)

C: Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to Cereal Time. This is a brand new show, episode 2 for us. We're gonna be here every single weekday morning playing games, doing challenges, having lots of fun!

J: Yeah! I'm having fun! We've made it to day 2, which is a good thing. Thanks for sticking with us!

C: Yes, thank you.

J: If you want to get in touch with us on the show then we would welcome that. Please do send us an email. We're hello@cerealtimeshow.com, or you can leave us a comment, or you can tweet us. All that stuff.

C: We're on all of the social media things.

J: All of the platforms.

C: You'll find us somewhere.

J: We're all over it.

C: And given that this week, the theme of this week, is beginnings we thought "Well, what is a good beginning? What's the real beginning in life?" Well it's...

J: In many ways, the only beginning.

C: Yeah. It's babies, isn't it.

J: It's birth. Yeah.

C: And this show is kind of like a baby.

J: So I'm gonna give birth on the show, right now.

(Both laugh)

J: No I'm not.

C: This is what it's all been leading up to. This is why the show has taken so long, you've had to make a baby.

J: It has been a bit like having a baby though. The creation of the show, it's taken, it's taken many months. There's been some pain involved, some mess, but at the end of it we've got something beautiful to share with the world-

C: Hopefully beautiful.

J: -i.e. the show. Is that too tenuous?

C: I don't think so. Not any more tenuous than what I'm about to do. So, obviously the best kind of baby, right? Beginnings, baby. The best kind of baby is the royal baby. So we're gonna play a game today involving the royal baby.

J: We are. So there. Deal with it, yeah? (Charlie laughs) And there's nothing you can do about it. We've got some pictures, though. Actually, we're gonna start with a GIF. Yeah, we're pretty fancy on this show. We've got GIFs.

C: We're pretty up with the Tumblrs and the GIFs and the JIFs.

J: And the JIFs.

C: We're very hip.

J: Is it GIF or JIF? I don't know. But this says: "How the royal baby was made?" I mean, is that how it was made? Just cast... It's not, is it?

C: No.

J: It's not. They're just at Harry Potter World. I went there, didn't come away pregnant.

C: Came away happy, though. I went there too.

J: Did come away happy.

C: It's a very nice place.

J: Did come away happy.

C: We've also got a fella here who dressed up like the royal baby as his Halloween costume, baby George.

J: I love this.

C: This is, it's kind of an amazing costume, this one. I do really like this.

J: I love this so much. It took me a while to work out what was going on. There was a moment when I thought it was actually Prince William with a big-headed baby on his chest. (Charlie laughs) I wanna dress up as this for Halloween this year. I need to make this costume happen. It's brilliant.

C: I wish he'd shaved his head or something, though.

J: Yeah, I know.

C: But it is very good.

J: You know. Commit all the way if you're going to those kind of lengths. We're gonna play a game though now.

C: Yeah, clearly people still care about the royal baby enough to do this sort of thing, so now we're gonna play a little royal baby game called:

Both: Is that baby royal?

J: Is it royal? Is it normal? Is it royal or is it just a normal baby? Who knows?

C: So this game, this game is basically... What we're gonna do is we're gonna look at some pictures of babies and we have to guess is the baby royal or is it not royal. Very simple concept, hopefully should still be a lot of fun.

J: The clue will be is it wearing a crown because we all know that royal babies come out of their mothers wearing a crown.

C: And that is a Cereal Time fact.

J: Cereal Time fact.

C: Shall we look at the first one?

J: Let's have a look at the first one.

(Baby 1)

J: Is it royal, is it normal? It's wearing a cape.

C: It does look pretty like it's quite self-important.

J: Yeah, it's definitely got a regal look about it.

C: Yeah.

J: Like "I own land". Looks quite... Do you know what? Can I have a guess to as who this might be?

C: Yeah, go for it.

J: That wasn't a sentence. I think it's royal and I think that is Queen Elizabeth.

C: Oh God. Are we gonna give him an extra point if he gets that right?

J: Is it? No, it's not. It's not. Wrong!

C: Alright, let's just stick to it. Royal or not royal, what do you think?

J: I'm gonna say royal.

C: OK. I'm gonna say, I want to say royal as well for this one. Let's have a look. Royal, OK.

J: OK, we're off to a flying start, one point each.

C: It was Prince Harry.

J: Oh!

C: So you got the gender wrong. Oopsie daisies.

J: Soz Prince Harry. That looks like a really old photo as well.

(Baby 2)

J: Ooh.

C: OK, who's this chappy then? Alright.

J: He is playing the piano, that's quite a posh instrument, isn't it. I don't know, this guy. He seems quite smug, like "Oho. Yes I can play the piano. Deal with it." (Charlie laughs) So I don't know. Royal I'm gonna go with.

C: I'm gonna go for not royal.

J: OK.

C: Yeah. No, he just looks like a normal chap. Not royal.

J: Damn! Damn!

C: Yeah. Who was it?

Both: Elton John!?

C: Ah.

J: Wow.

C: Yeah.

J: That has shocked me.

C: Makes sense doesn't it? Playing a piano.

J: Well yeah, it makes perfect sense.

(Baby 3)

J: Oh God! (Laughs)

C: OK. Ooh! That's... (Laughs)

J: Is it riding a giant tadpole?

C: Is that an octopus or an elephant it's riding?

J: That baby does not look pleased to be playing a lute or whatever it is.

C: It's having a very big day, isn't it.

J: Don't put a baby on a giant tadpole in the sea. (Charlie laughs) That's not a good approach to parenting.

C: But the expression on it's face says "Oh, I can't believe I have to do this again".

J: (Laughs) Yeah!

C: A bit like "Oh, I've got to go through this whole charade..." (Laughs)

J: Well painters took quite a long time to paint, didn't they, so maybe it's just been there for hours and hours, days even.

C: What do you think? Royal or not royal?

J: I am going to, I am going to say not royal. No crown.

C: Yeah, I want to go not royal for this one. Not royal.

J: Yes!

C: Pretty good.

J: Point each.

(Baby 4)

C: OK. This is a pretty royal looking baby to me.

J: Yeah, it's screaming royal, isn't it.

C: Yeah.

J: Red and gold, favored colors of the monarchy.

C: I love that fringe as well, like so light.

J: (Laughs) Yeah, it's a great fringe isn't it.

C: It's almost like it's just been drawn on. I mean it's a painting so, but still.

J: And a really, that is the poshest rattle I've ever seen. (Charlie laughs) That is the rattle of a royal baby.

C: Yeah, I kind of want to go royal here.

J: I, yeah. I'd be mad not to. It's royal, course it's royal.

C: It's royal. It is indeed royal. That's Edward VI.

J: Oh. Very good.

(Baby 5)

C: (Laughs) Another strange looking child painting here.

J: Have you ever seen a baby with hair like that?

C: No. It looks like it's got a receding hairline, doesn't it?

J: Yeah. I mean times were odd in medieval days though.

C: That's a very fancy apple.

J: Probably aged a lot faster. It looks quite stressed out as well, doesn't it?

C: Yeah.

J: They couldn't get hands quite right, could they, in medieval times. They struggled with the hands.

C: They did an OK job, I think.

J: I mean yeah, yeah, that's true. It's better than I could do.

C: But yeah, that's a pretty odd looking thing. (Jimmy laughs). I'm gonna say, I don't know, I'm gonna say royal for this one. I don't know, the little cross, it just looks like...

J: Is it the pose as well? It's quite a regal pose.

C: Yeah.

J: I'm gonna say not royal, again no crown. I'm sticking with that methodology.

C: OK. It's not royal.

J: Yes, point to Jimmy.

C: Well done Jimmy. Who was that? That was Jesus.

J: Oh, that was Jesus. Hi Jesus.

C: Could you not argue that was royal though? He's the...

J: Maybe. I don't want to get into a deep theological argument with you.

C: He's the king of, king of gods? I don't know much about Christianity generally so...

J: No points, Charlie. Move on.

(Baby 6)

C: OK.

J: Aw. Who's this cheeky chappy?

C: So that is, I believe that is one Charlie McDonnell when he was quite young. I really wish that my mother had decided to pick a, just a slightly different haircut for me, but...

J: You're so happy though.

C: I know. I remember when we took this picture I was just really pleased to show off my missing tooth. That was the whole thing.

J: Oh, bless you.

C: So I'm going to go for not royal because I know myself.

J: Again there's no crown so I'm gonna go not royal.

C: It's not royal and it is indeed me.

J: Oh, little Charlie. Little Charlie McDonnell.

(Baby 7)

C: Who's this guy then? I'm assuming it's a boy.

J: Dungarees are great, aren't they? I want to get a pair of dungarees.

C: I have a feeling that this one is a royal baby. I don't know what it is but something about the fact that it looks quite...

J: Fist clench.

C: Yeah, yeah. But it, it... Don't know. It just seems like it shouldn't be royal so I think it is. I don't know what it is about it.

J: The fist clench is saying to me "I'm gonna have a great life." So I'm gonna go royal.

C: We're both going royal? Not royal.

J: What?

C: Oh, OK.

J: Who was it? Jimmy Hall? (Both laugh) Like Jimmy Hill.

C: It was you! Sort of.

J: Oh yeah, it was me.

C: Close as we could get.

J: When I had a different name and lived in the 60s.

(Baby 8)

J: Very frumpy outfit, isn't it? (Charlie laughs) It's not saying to me the joys of childhood. It's saying more like "I've got a funeral to go to".

C: Yeah, just like a really fancy funeral.

J: One glove on, one glove off.

C: Yeah.

J: I...

C: That baby has so much more sophistication than me.

J: I'd love a hat like that.

C: Yeah?

J: Yeah. I think I'd look really good in that.

C: I want to say not royal?

J: She's at the beach as well. That's not suitable beach attire.

C: I don't know.

J: I'm going to say royal.

C: You're gonna go royal?

J: Yeah.

C: It's royal.

J: Yes. Can I guess who?

C: Who is it?

J: Queen Victoria.

C: Princess Victoria.

J: Princess Victoria.

C: Well there you go.

J: Alright. Royal.

C: Yeah.

J: I'm good at this.

C: You are very good at this.

J: I'm really good at this.

C: And that's all of the babies.

J: That's all of the babies. That's all we've got!

C: Yeah.

J: That was Is this baby royal?

C: It's the end.

J: Who's the winner?

C: Who's the winner, Josh?

Josh: Alright, well five points to Charlie, and seven points to Jimmy.

J: Yeah! Winner! I am the king of royal babies. (Charlie laughs) In a way.

C: King of kings, really.

J: Where's my crown? Where's my crown?

C: Ladies and gentlemen, it's Tuesday which means it's Old News Tuesday. We cannot be bothered to be topical here. We're not going to talk about news stories that are recent, we're gonna talk about news stories from exactly one year ago today, starting with:

J: Police offer... Offer... "Police officer dives into lake to save dog from sinking car".

C: It's good that we have this job and not actual news... (Laughs)

J: They fluff it on the news sometimes guys, yeah. I've not read news before. So this is a story, well I mean it's less a news story more a picture, but here is a police officer who has just dived into a lake to rescue this little dog!

J: I mean that's incredible.

C: How buff does that police officer look? He looks like a cartoon policeman. "Hrr! Yes, I have just saved a drowning dog".

J: In my head I like the idea that this is maybe a picture taken by a newspaper and they've asked him to, like, go back to stand on top of that car being like "Oh, that would make a really good photo" and the dog's just like...

J: And the dog's just like "No! I don't want to go back there!"

C: But I, I always like to hear about animals being saved.

J: Yeah.

C: That makes me quite happy.

J: Yeah.

C: Oh, I've got to do mine now. Are we ready?

J: Don't drive your car into a lake if you've got a dog in it. Tips from Cereal Time.

C: That's the moral. Alright. "Skateboarding bird pulls off rad wheelie". So in this story a bird was on a skateboard and it did a wheelie.

J: Yeah. That's, that's pretty much it. Next. (Laughs)

C: (Laughs) That's the news.

J: We've got some pictures. I don't know whether that's a tiny skateboard with a normal sized bird on it or a normal sized skateboard with a giant bird on it which would be pretty news worthy.

C: Yeah. But I feel like if it was that that would be the news headline wouldn't it.

J: Yeah.

C: I don't really believe this to be honest 'cause that doesn't so much look like a bird who's skateboarding, more just like a bird who's standing on a skateboard who at one point shifted its weight and then...

J: Possibly superglued on there.

C: Yeah. I feel like I need a video to go along with this one and actually see the little bird, like, you know, do a little ollie or something.

J: I've got another headline. "Woman teaches dolphin to speak English and it falls in love with her".

C: Yeah. So this is actually a story from the 1960s, so...

J: Very old, ancient news Tuesday today.

C: Yeah. But it was picked up again at this point last year. And yeah, it's about a woman who basically lived with a dolphin.

J: So it was a science experiment. Basically they put a dolphin in a house that was flooded with a woman, scientist Margaret Howe, and they were supposed to live together just to see what would happen, I think. I don't know if, I don't know what they went in there with the, with getting, you know, what they wanted to get out of the experiment.

C: Well dolphins have pretty big brains. Dolphins brains are actually much bigger than human brains actually, so I think they were gonna say "Can we teach this guy how to speak English?" But instead, I don't really think he really learnt much English at all. He definitely couldn't, like, say words or anything. But yeah, she did form quite a strong bond with the dolphin and vice versa.

J: I mean it is a dolphin. Did anyone think it was gonna be able to speak words? Was that ever a serious...

C: For some reason this does seem like an experiment they would do in the 60s, just, like...

J: I can't imagine you would be able to get away with that now.

C: Yeah.

J: You can't put a dolphin in a house.

C: Did they just run out of good science to do? "Let's just try and teach a dolphin how to speak English".

J: "We've got a dolphin, we've got a house, let's shove it in and see what happens".

J: There you are, that is the end of Cereal Time. Don't forget to subscribe though so you don't miss new shows from us. We're here every single weekday. Give us a like too and leave us some comments. Get in touch.

C: And just thank you as well. Thank you for watching episode 2. We're doing our best.

J: Yeah. It's exciting.

C: Thank you for sticking around. I know it's been a long time coming.

J: We're gonna end though, we end the show as we always do with Twitter Thought of the Day. The way it works, basically we want to give you an inspirational quote to start your day with. Normally we will take this from Twitter but because no-one's watching the show yet we thought for this week only we'd come up with our own. Charlie, it's your turn to invent an inspirational quote on the spot. I've got some words for you though that you have to include.

C: OK. I'm ready.

J: Those, those words are: Rita Ora, DVLA - that's the driving association - optimism. Good luck.

C: I'm not entirely sure who Rita Ora is.

J: She's a pop star.

C: Pop star.

J: Yeah.

C: OK. "When Rita Ora went to the DVLA and failed her test, didn't matter. She went straight back in because she had optimism".

J: Yes!

C: That was actually not that bad was it?

J: Inspirational!

C: Yeah. See you tomorrow.

J: See you tomorrow guys.