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part two:

for posterity!
on blogtv, september 26th, 2008
hank has spoonfingers
Katherine: Okay.
Hank: Well we- we'll have to-
Katherine: Y'all ready?
Hank: -put it somewhere.
Katherine; Ready? Ready?
(Clunking noises)
Hank: Hello! This is Hank Green at fallofautumndistro's channel doings one of the many excellent vlog TV recording chat thingies! And I have just become for the first time in my life and the first time I believe possibly in anyone's life, Edward Spoonfingers.
Katherine: (giggling)
Hank: Welcome to the channel. Obviously good stuff goes on here. For example, this.
Katherine: Spoonfingers time! 
Hank: Right here. My thumb ones, the ones on my thumb are actually bigger, and uh, as a punishment, the one on my pinky is much, much bigger.
Katherine: (giggling)
Hank: Uh, But...
Katherine: You made fun of me.
Hank: Edward Spoonfingers. The ones on my thumbs are actually much more pendulous. 
Both: (Laughing)
Hank: Uhh... Nerdfighter Sign that's a great idea. Huh, huh, ha. Nerdfighters! It's harder. It's harder with spoons.
Katherine: Oh, yeah.
Hank: Nerdfighters! So yes, if you send me, anyone who's watching this including people who aren't at the live event, if you sen me a picture of yourself as Edward slash Edwina Spoonfingers I will send you a link to a Hank Green recorded song which you will enjoy very much and which no one has ever heard before and won't be released until my album comes out. Hurray...
Katherine: And what's your email address..
Hank: Spoonfingers. The email address is S-P-A-R-K-S-F-L-Y-U-P..
Katherine: by..
Hank: at
Katherine: Like people have to send it by..
Hank: And you have to send it by.. I don't even know what today's date is. You have to send it by October 1st. I know that that's in the future. So you have to send it by October 1st, that's when my album will be complete, but it won't be for sale until at least, like on- it won't be for sale online, for like two months after that. So if you want to get this song, you have to send me a picture of yourself, with spoonfingers. It's fairly easy to do, it only took me and my wife about, I think like you have to have a friend (laughs) I think to get the full hand effect, you have to have a friend nearby. Because there's no way that you can spoonfinger yourself with one hand already spoonfingered, like you couldn't do the other hand while you already have the other hand... (spoon clanging noises) (giggles) I feel like I need a bowl of eggs. 
Both: (laugh)
Hank: So I can do some blending. 
Katherine: Hey, (giggles)
Hank: Give me something to blend. I could, I could make a meringue   in like, thirteen seconds. I could, I could whip up some cool whip faster than anyone with cool whip ever, with these spoonfingers. I am the king of the Spoonfingers. Ah, I can whip it, in to shape.
Katherine: (giggles) You can whip it.
Hank: Shape it up. Get straight, go forward, my spoons are stuck.
Katherine: (giggles) Wha...(giggles)
Hank: They're stuck together. Try to detect it.
Katherine: Ow (giggling)
Hank: I just poked my wife. To whip it. In shape. I can't do a happy dance with spoon fingers. I would probably break something. Either something in the house, or a spoon, or one of my fingers. Uh, any, any of those cases would be...I'm really amazed at how they're holding. Like there's, there not coming off. Oooh... Uhhh...please clap. I can be all diabolical like.. mm..huh
Katherine: Excellent
Hank: Excellent. Uhh, just fold my fingers over hmm...hmm...hmm
Katherine: The Church...
Hank: Yeah, yeah, here's the church.
Katherine: That's not how it works, it's 
Hank: Here's the steeple.
Katherine:'s, it's like this. (laughs). See, yep. Now turn it, yep there you go. Yeah, here's the church, 
Hank: Here's the church, here's the steeple.
Katherine: Open the church.
Hank: Open the doors, and show all the people. Ow! Some freakin' pinky spoon got caught! And I almost broke my pinky. This is a serious punishment. Don't use abnormally sized spoons, it's very dangerous. 
Katherine: (laughs)
Hank: Eat cereal! Kath, go get me a bowl of cereal.
Katherine: (laughs) 
Hank: I need to get some cereal. 
Katherine: No.
Hank: I love cereal, I'm hungry!
Katherine: I'm sorry, I'm not doing that because it's going to be messy.
Hank: No, it's okay, it'll be alright we have hardwood floors. 
Katherine: Don't whine.
Hank: Listen to the nerdfighters they want you to do it. I'll be very careful.
Katherine: They want me to put spoons on you're toes, too, should I do that?
Hank: Well, no, but they want, cereal more than anything. I'll use only the index finger. I have a lot of control. I'll use only index right hand. I probably will try...
Katherine: You probably will.
Hank: I'll probably try to use some other fingers to see what it feels like, but don't tell Katherine. I'll be very careful. I'll just use the big, the big pinky one. The ginormous pinky spoon. Ummmm, um, with regular cereal bowls, like, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine. My hands are spoons, dun dun dun, du du du du du, my hands are the spoons. There's actually a vineyard in Missoula called Ten Spoon's Vineyard. And I should, I should send a picture of this to them and be like, oh, Ten Spoons and hey, I have ten spoons. I hope you people are taking screen shots of this stuff because dang, this is spoonfingers time. Poof! Poof! Poof! 
Katherine: Wha...
Hank: Poof! I can't believe that the number of viewers is going down.  I know it's late but, Jesus Christ I have spoonfingers! Huh, how could you not be here for this. Freakin' spoonfingers! You know, now every time I go on vlog tv, everyone's gonna be like, hey, captain of spoonfingers. And I'm gonna be like, I hate spoonfingers. I don't do spoonfingers every time I go on vlog TV. 
Katherine: How are you gonna eat this? Do you want me to hold the bowl? 
Hank: No, put it in my legs. 
Katherine: No, I don't trust it.
Hank: Do it.  
Katherine: I don't.. ahh! No! No..No, it's gonna pop off.
Hank: Well, I certainly can't hold it. Oh great, this is definitely not gonna get my pants dirty. It works. Okay, more than one spoon at a time doesn't work. That was fail. 
Katherine: He said (laughs) three spoons in the bowl at once! Right, because these two are stupid. 
Hank: Yeah..
Katherine: They got together. 
Hank: Which, which finger is best?
Katherine: Try them all.
Hank: Mmm. I love this stuff. I feel like I can hold it with one of my hands. Yeah, there we go. I got the spoonfingers, holding the bowl. This is, like, our nice china, too, I'll have you know. We, this is what we got for our wedding. If I drop this, I'm in trouble. I just spat on my computer. So, and I'm totally blaming you guys if I drop it. Maybe I can do, like, pincer. Like, chopsticks. No, that's not working.   I am made of spoons. Gosh darn it, this is hard. I'm holding, like, the bowl in my big pinky spoon hand.
Katherine: Come on.
Hank: Okay. It's so happy.
Katherine: No, do it, hold it with this one. (laughs) Big pinky spoon.
Hank: Big pinky spoon.
Katherine: Do it!
Hank: It's totally not gonna work. Oh, I guess it is.
Katherine: Oh, aww..(laughs).
Hank: Big pinky spoon.
Katherine: Not the most efficient way to eat cereal.
Hank: No, you'd think that if your hands were spoons you can do one thing well. Eat cereal, but no. Even that is more difficult.  The life of the spoon-handed is not a piece of cake, people.