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In which John Green answers 100 questions in less than four minutes while wearing the shirt that was his worst impulse buy.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')

Morning Hank, Sunday, 100 questions, four minutes, go!

1. How many puffs would a puff puff if a puff could puff puff? Six.

2. What kind of dog is Willy? The barky kind.

3. How will the world end? Whimper, not bang.

4. Favorite picture book? Little Pea in your pants.

5. Do you like your bobblehead? (Wiggles bobblehead to make it nod "yes".)

6. Nikon or Canon? Canon.

7. Favorite Disney Movie? Fantasia.

8. Would you ever get a cat? The Yeti's allergic.

9. Favorite year of high school? Senior.

10. Will Paper Towns be published in France? Je pense que oui.

11. Are you a ninja? Hiiii-ya! Oh, ah, no.

12. Cheese? (Nods while eating cheese)

13. Height? 6'1"

14. Who the eff is Hank? He's a mass of incandescent gas.

15. How long have you had the puff? Long time.

16. Favorite Hank song? Anglerfish.

17. Can I hug you? Not right now I'm answering questions.

18. Why? 'Cause I said so.

19. New Star Wars trilogy or old trilogy? Come on.

20. Big Macs or Whoppers? Fitness Challenges.

21. Where is the puppy? (Holds up Willy)

22. Do you like apples? (Eats apple)

23. Favorite band? The Mountain Goats.

24. Second favorite band? Still The Mountain Goats.

25. Third favorite band? Hank.

26. Fourth favorite band? Then back to The Mountain Goats.

27. Favorite shirt? (Holds up shirt reading "NERD FIGHTER")

28. Paper or plastic? Tote bags.

29. Favorite scent? White musk.

30. Did you like The Hunger Games? Yes.

31. Argyle? Double yes.

32. What's next? (Holds up copy of Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

33. Favorite city? Amsterdam.

34. First job? Steak and Shake.

35. Ikea bookshelves? (Again bobbles bobblehead)

36. Star Wars or Star Trek? (Performs Nerdfighter Salute)

37. Will you write a sequel to Looking For Alaska? Probably not.

38. Did you like Kenyon? (Once again bobbles bobblehead)

39. Wait, when? (Asked while holding aforementioned Will Grayson, will grayson) April.

40. Joyce or Yates? Joyce.

41. Best video editing software? Final Cut.

42. Anagram 11 + 2?  12 + 1, riddle pwned.

43. Link or Mario? Mario.

44. What's the meaning of life? Other people.

45. Why do you sweat so much? It's hot.

46. Favorite time period? Now.

47. Are you worried about balding? Jeez, I wasn't 'til you mentioned it, but now I am.

48. Can you speak Klingon? nuqDaq 'oH puchpae' (Where is the bathroom?)

49. Alaska, Lindsey, or Margo? Hmmm, Margo.

50. Unstoppable force or immovable object? Force.

51. Who? Monkeys.

52. What? Monkeys!

53. Where? In your pants!

54. When? Now!

55. Why? I don't know, you got some bananas in there or something?

56. What's a question? It's like a statement, only it ends like this?

57. Faulkner or Whitman? Whitman.

58. Briefs or boxers? Boxers.

59. Favorite arcade game? Nerdfighters.

60. Do you wish you had a different name? There's a guy in the US Marines whose real name is Lance Corporal Max Fight Master. I wouldn't mind being Lance Corporal Max Fight Master.

61. Worst president? Buchanan.

62. Ketchup or mustard? Nom nom nom nom nom nom(While eating ketchup). Ahhhh. Ketchup. Actually not that good as a main course.

63. Sox or Yankees? Cubs.

64. Favorite type of pie? The mathematical constant type.

65. What's your favorite word? Together.

66. The accidental onion ring in your Burger King fries annoying distraction or pleasant surprise? Pleasant surprise.

67. Favorite play? Hamlet.

68. Where's Waldo? By the cotton candy.

69. What's up? Uh, not much, I'm just trying to answer 100 questions in four minutes.

70. Favorite teacher? First grade, Ms. Newton.

71. One thing you can't live without? Water.

72. Who loves you, baby? My mom?

73. Favorite Beatle? John.

74. Favorite color? Green. See what I did there?

75. Monet or Manet? Manet.. ze.

76. Near or far sighted? Near.

77. How's the weather? 78. Do you like pizza? 79. Am I too nerdy? 80. Do you like your iPhone? 81. Worst impulse buy? Sunny, yes, no, yes, and this shirt.

82. Pie or cake? Pake.

83. Who's your hero? This guy. (Screen cuts to picture of David Foster Wallace)

84. Glasses prescription? About that. (Said while holding glasses to camera)

85. Favorite veggie? (Eats asparagus) Nom nom nom nom nom.

86. Picard or Kirk? Picard.

87. Muffins? Yes.

89. Nirvana? Sure.

90. Hope or despair? Hope.

91. Am I cool? You're jokes.

92. Colin or Q? Q.

93. Lefty? Righty.

94. Do you love me? Yes.

95. Are you happy? Almost.

96. Is this the last question? No.

97. Is this the last question? Yes!

I'll see you on Tuesday! Ugh, I am a hot mess.