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In which Hank gives some stellar productivity tips so that you can use your time more efficiently, be a more effective person and, also, stop having fun!

Co-star - Michael Aranda:


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good Morning John.
So as you may have noticed, I like to do, all the jobs.
Vidcon, is coming up at the end of this month.
Lizzie Bennet just passed 50, 000 subscribers.

Sci-show, and Crash Course, and Truth or Fail, and Eco Geek, and DFTBA Records. It's a long list, and sometimes people ask me, "Hank how do you do so much stuff? You must have some excellent productivity tips." and yes, I do. Unlike, apparently everyone else, I put my pants on two legs at a time.

I've developed a faster way of tying my shoes, and also a faster and more efficient way to ambulate. I predict within the next five years everyone will be walking like this.

People also spend a HUGE amount of time eating, and I've stopped doing that, and instead I just ingest 2000 calories of Muscle Milk in one sitting. This has also dramatically decreased the amount of time I spend pooping. Though it has really increased the amount of time I spend peeing. Which is why I've developed this special desk chair.

Michael Aranda: Did you see that e-mail from-

Hank: What's up?

Michael: ..Okay

Hank: Another Tip! I get my medical procedures in bulk.

"I just got my wisdom teeth taken out while getting a colonoscopy."

Also, I get my computer to do work for me. For example, I wrote a script that goes too Amazon for me so I don't have to do it and order more Muscle Milk. Because otherwise I'd spend a huge amount of time, just ordering Muscle Milk.

And I also wrote a script that e-mails my wife romantic messages on important holidays. I mean I was really busy so I didn't write the whole program, it's based on a Russian Spam writing algorithim. Here's an example of one from our last anniversary,

I am very love Katherine, it is more than your life is at it's best which I have seen you to comply. Your hair, as you can see, is in no need of introduction because of course it has no business with you.

My duty, as your man, is now do you want to be your friend for all of the rest of Viagra.

But my biggest tip for all of you, is instead of actually doing things, just imagine doing fun things. That way you can get the maximum amount of stuff done while in the end making sure, that you never really ever do anything.

YES! Kidding. Uh, I don't like muscle milk. God, Michael drinks that stuff, it is so horrible. But for serious, I do, do a lot of stuff, and I am pretty serious about, you know making sure that I use my time productively.

I use this thing on my computer called RescueTime, it like tracks where and what I do while I'm on my computer. And it's great, it's kind of hilarious because it's always like "YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUTUBE." And I'm like Yeah! But that's my job RescueTime!

That leads to another point about how I have the awesomest job ever. I work a lot because work is more like a hobby for me. So that's where a lot of this "ALL THE JOBS! Do lots of different projects!" thing comes from for me. I just like making things. It's one of the things that makes me excited about life.

I also have to say, that you know I could be more productive because I have help. Vidcon has a whole team: Carver, and Monica, and Jenny, and Lindsay. DFTBA Records has: Alan, and Sam, and Kristin. And then with Sci-show and Crash Course, we've got a whole team. I'd love to introduce you to them sometime, everybody. They're great.

But I think that's one of the things that I learned from this project with you, John. Is that I like to collaborate with people. And no, none of them is as good of a collaborator as you are. You're still #1.

But I like to do projects, I like to collaborate, I like too be on a team, it's like sports except you're actually doing something. And let me be the first to say that what works for me in terms of productivity is not going to work for everybody.

I don't like, like rigid micro-managed schedules. I like to let myself sort of like internal stress level decide what I'm going to work on that day. If I get really busy, and I freak out, just you know flip over Emma Stone's eyeball. And the funny thing is flipping over Emma Stone's eyeball for me is work.

So thank's to everybody.

John, I'll see you on Tuesday.

End Clip:

Michael: Did you see that e-mail from-


Hank: -laughter-

Michael: I got spit all over my screen.