YouTube: https://youtube.com/watch?v=kWbYlCi12D8
Previous: Quick Q&A with Dr. Doe
Next: 100 Reasons Delayed Ejaculation Happens

Categories

Statistics

View count:1,531
Likes:204
Dislikes:0
Comments:23
Duration:05:06
Uploaded:2019-07-31
Last sync:2019-07-31 19:50
I've made mistakes over my lifetime. Some are no big deal but others are and it's important for me to do what I can to correct them.
Some of my works in progress include:
1. Not having a system in place to respond in a timely manner, or at all to your messages. Even something as simple as an auto-reply that suggests appropriate resources and addresses my inability to take on an inbox so large.
2. One message in particular was from a dad who deserved my full and immediate attention. Maybe I'll share more about this someday but for now, I'm working on amends.
3. This isn't a mistake so much as a challenge. It isn't possible for me to keep up on every research study, current affair, sex education improvement etc. This means that I can use out-dated language and leave people out. I'm trying and ContraPoints is helping.
4. I've misspelled and mispronounced words.
5. I've reported information on the island Mangaia which many of the inhabitants of dispute. They say that the anthropologists who originally wrote their enthographers were wrong. Part of my amends here is to buy $300 of books about Mangaia to learn more and continue planning a visit to learn first-hand about their sexualities.
These are the ones that come to mind now. There are many others and I'll try to add them as they come up.
Thank you again for learning with me and allowing me to grow as a person. I hope we can all do this for each other on a larger scale and that we stay curious.


Dr. Doe's contact info:
TWITTER : https://twitter.com/elleteedee
TUMBLR : http://tumblingdoe.tumblr.com
FACEBOOK : https://www.facebook.com/sexplanations
INSTAGRAM : http://instagram.com/sexplanations
DFTBA : https://store.dftba.com/collections/sexplanations
WEBSITE : http://sexplanations.com
Support Sexplanations by becoming a sexpla(i)naut: https://www.patreon.com/sexplanations
https://www.patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast
I make mistakes all the time.  Sometimes they work out even if they're not the way I wanted them to be.  Wrong leads to a right.  Sometimes they're benign.  No one cares.  Sure, I know I could have done better, but whatever.  Then there are those times when I have done harm.  It's a gross error, something that has to be corrected if I want to feel good in my body.  As a sex educator, this has happened when I teach.  Informal settings, schools, conferences, meetings, and counseling sessions where partners who are working on their sex lives need someone to give them zero mistake information, and it's happened on Youtube.  I make mistakes.  So I wanted to talk about it and share how I've tried to correct them, partly as a model for others, but also to recognize my own humanness and emphasize that I'm not an invaluable resource for your sexuality.  You have to stay curious.

(Intro)

Mistake #1: This one comes to mind all the time, even though it happened 15 years ago.  I was training adults who work with adolescents on HIV prevention and broader STIs.  For whatever reason, I don't know, I was inexperienced and arrogant, I said "The way you can tell the difference between an STI that is viral and one that is bacterial is by the name.  The ones that end in -is, like hepatitis, are viruses."  No.  Ughh.  This is not true.  It's dangerously wrong.  Syphilis, for example, ends in -is but is not a virus.  It's caused by bacteria which means in its early stages, spots on the palms, etc, it can be cured with antibiotics.  Viruses can't, so it haunts me that someone out there might think syphilis is a viral infection and not seek the medical care that they need.  Hm.  
Correction: The names for sexually transmitted infections do not always reflect what kind of pathogen causes them or what kind of treatment you need.

Mistake #2: Early on in Sexplanations, a company sent me questions for an article they were writing on sexual myths.  I responded, probably late at night after teaching classes, raising kids, and working, then months later, I came across the article with me saying something that didn't make any sense.  I would never say that.  That isn't true!  I got really huffy and went to a mentor who advised me, "I suggest e-mailing or Tweeting the author and saying, hey, I don't remember saying this and don't think that this is true.  Can you provide a source for me and include it in the article?"  So I did this but in a much less curious and less humble tone.  The company apologized and made it better, then I found my original interview in my e-mails, and sure enough, I had said the thing.  I was wrong.  I made the mistake of putting incorrect information out there and then made the mistake of blaming someone else.  Mm.  Since then, the company has disbanded.  There's no direct way to reach them, but I can still make amends.  One: by owning what I did so that any of you who remember this dispute know what really happened and two: I can do better in other interviews, making sure that when I have the opportunity to answer sex questions, I'm on and not exhausted and I soften my tone when there's confusion.

A third mistake I made in a Sexplanations video.  Someone asked if they could eat a cucumber after using it on their own body and I said, "Putting your own semen, vaginal fluid, blood, feces, urine, etc into your mouth is unlikely to cause harm."  I reasoned that if there's bacteria and the like in them, they're from your body.  You already have them.  Dah!  this isn't completely true and thankfully, many of you let me know in the comments.  We pulled the video and edited that part out.

What else? I confused paramour with metamour.  Metamour would be a partner's partner with whom there is no sexual or romantic relationship.  Paramour is an illicit or forbidden partner, the extramarital affair person.  

I recommended ACE bandages as chest binders.  They're elastic and can compromise breathing, so actually, avoid them.  

I left out an important step for using menstrual cups, as Casey T added, when using a cup, do not just grab and pull.  First, break the seal at the top by hooking the rim or pinching the cup.  This will prevent a vacuum effect when trying to remove it.

When I mess up and people call it out on the comments, I pin those comments so that they're at the top permanently to say I was incorrect.  Here's some more information.  

I did this with DIY sex toys.  Packaging material, not so hygienic.  Genital piercings, look for licensed piercers, and he history of Pride.  Someone commented that I left out the trans people of color who were at the forefront of the Stonewall Riots.  Riot leaders Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera identified as drag queens, so it felt uncomfortable for me to describe them as trans women, even though they may identify that way if they were alive today.  It wasn't a mistake, but I can still make it better, which I hope I did with the episode all about trans history, researched and written with people from the trans community.

I want to be trustworthy and reliable.  I don't want to be wrong, but I also don't want to contribute to the myth that anyone, including me, is 100% correct all of the time.  I, Lindsey Doe, have made many, many errors.  Some of them I've worked through, some of them I'm still sorting out how to amend.  I've left notes in the description and comments about my works-in-progress.  Thank you for supporting my efforts to grow and improve and for staying curious.

(Endscreen)