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Dr. Doe's contact info:
Support Sexplanations by becoming a sexpla(i)naut:
I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, a clinical sexologist and host of this sex curious show, Sexplanations.  Today's episode is sponsored by leader in sex toy accessibility,  


Usually, our videos are topic-based.  What a pelvic exam is like, how to put on condoms, making your own playthings.  Other times, I just want to answer a whole bunch of your questions.   Quickies!  Each one of your questions could be a whole episode, a whole channel for that matter, but it's nice to go fast and get in and out sometimes.

Is there a proper term for the relaxed feeling after sex/orgasm?  
Physiologically, it's the resolution stage.  There's a surge of feel good endorphins, bonding oxytocin, and sleep-inducing prolactin.  It's also known as post-coital bliss, a relief or a release.  I couldn't find a clinical term so let's call in.  YIM: Yay, I'm Melting.  

Tips for preventing tearing at the base of the vaginal opening?
Vulva massage.  Over time and before tear-provoking activities, and supplemental lube.  Joseph Kramer has a good video on vulva massage and Adam & Eve has lots of lube.  

When in history and why did shaming sex become a thing?
I don't know, but it's really caught on.  

What to do if you're embarrassed to talk to your partner about your kink?  
Check out Watts the Safeword, scope out, go to some munches, include kink-friendly people in your life to alleviate embarrassment, then ask your partner to do want/will/won't list with you.

Why isn't sex aversion discussed more?  How does one even know if they experience sex aversion despite being able to feel sexual attraction?
I almost didn't answer this question because I don't want to discuss it.  It's not fun to think about people having adverse reactions to sex, but I think it's important, so I'll work on a whole episode for you.

What is the best strap-on for a male with erectile issues not helped by Viagra or the like?
Here's a video all about strap-ons.

What are some ways to learn social expectations and norms around sex in other countries?  I'm moving to France next month.
Some social customs have been around for a while, so you can check out sites like and read all about those different cultures.  That being said, lots of norms and etiquettes change rapidly with the internet and ease of travel, so I'd just ask people directly.  Hi, France, can you please tell us about sexuality there, what to do and what not to do?  Merci (?~2:10).  

Tips for getting out of your own head during sex?  Anxiety brain is a major mood killer.  
Play language tapes or an app like Duolingo so you can focus your mind on something challenging while you're having sex.  If your partner is okay with it, you can draw on their body inspiring phrases or artwork to look at during sex.  Ooh!  Let's crowdsource a playlist of songs to listen to that ease anxiety.  Comments!  Sex tape!  We're gonna make a sex tape as a group!

How do you manage different libidos in a monogamous relationship?  
I made a video on this and I'm working on a four-part sex drive series.

Can dom/consentual non-consent fantasies be dangerous?
Everything can be dangerous.  

Fun sex games to play with my partner?
Off the top of my head, roleplay, hide and seek, guess that body part, there are a bunch of games that you can buy at sex toy stores.

When do I get to do it?  
When you consent to do it with someone who consents to do it with you and you're not otherwise inhibited by time, space, physical limitations, or the law.

How do porn stars keep from getting pregnant while engaging in all sorts of unprotected sex, yet people outside the industry get pregnant with one slip up?  
Some adult performers have unprotected sex, yes, that doesn't mean that they're not using contraception, though.  Birth control, like the pill, shot, IUD, etc that prevent pregnancy.  The adult performers I know are incredibly careful and protective of their sexual health.  Also, I'm certain that some of them have gotten pregnant.  Some have had babies.  Some have had abortions.  They might not share that with you like the people around you in day-to-day life do.

Is there truth to the myth that the sex of a child can be determined by whether or not the woman enjoyed the sex?  Example: female children if she orgasmed?  
I don't think so.  From what I've studied, a difference found between the Y-bearing sperm and the X-bearing sperm is that Y are smaller and typically faster and X have a higher endurance, so they're viable longer.  It depends more on when the ovum is ready and when the sperm reaches.  Orgasm can facilitate the cervix moving closer to the semen so that it's easier for sperm to get in, but again, there are many more variables than orgasm that affect conception, let alone the sex of the child.  

Why do people refuse to respect others sexualities and sexual fetishes?
Good question.  I don't know all of the reasons, but I think for some it's because it takes work to confront our biases.  We don't want to re-evaluate everything we think to be true.  We'd rather be wrong than to do the work to change.  Cognitive disequilibrium feels uncomfortable.

I've never had penetrative sex before and all the media I watch portrays it as an easy slides right in sort of deal.  Is that how it actually works mechanically?  
It can for sure, depending on how aroused the partners are, the level of trust, physiology, amount of lube produced or added, the girth of the orifice, the phallus, the previous experience, masturbating, toys, fingers, other partners, and so on.  It can also sting a little or a lot and some people aren't able to slide anything in.  In vaginas, this is often a condition called "vaginismus".  Important to note that media is usually more glamorous, dramatic, and succinct than real life.  That and it's edited.  Sexuality and sex itself are diverse experiences, so stay curious.

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Merci.  Merdre.  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  Okay, Google.  How do you pronounce merci?

That's pronounced merci.