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Last sync:2023-10-28 12:30
In which Hank and Katherine follow the spiders into the forbidden forest and sing hilarious songs about toast.
Katherine: Hello!

Hank: And welcome!

K: To this episode of...

H: Hank and Katherine...

K: Play...

H: Lego

K: Harry

H: Potter

K: Years

H: One 

K: Through

H: Four! (Laughing) I was good at that.

K: (Laughs) 

H: Screw you pirate ship!

K: Back in the stupid ship! Oh no, what...I'm...I'm Ron, okay.

H: Ohoh, one of the spiders is...

K: Spiders, so many spiders, so many spiders

H: Can we kill them with the broom?

K: They want me to tap dance, Harry. I don't want to tap dance.

H: Why can't I get on it?

H: (In rhythm with the bouncing) I will stomp you, spiders. And you will...I was but

K: (In rhythm) You weren't pushing the right button.

K: Oh hey, I'm going through this door without you. How does it feel?

H: I don't mind, to be totally honest.

K: Hm. Course you don't. Nooo! Whoa.

H: Whoa, you jumped on a thing!

K: Almost lost it! Is this like...

H: Monstrosity?

K: Yeah. It's like...

H: I don't know, I did something with it. It looks like a battle droid.

K: What is this, even?

H: I did all this stuff. From back...back before you joined me on LEGO Harry Potter.

K: Okay, back...back in the day.

H: Back when it was Hank Plays LEGO Harry Potter.

K: When you was a teenager. Before you had status and before you had a pager?

H: Yes. Whaaat? That was neat!

K: You could...

H: Yes, before I had status and before I had a pager.

K: Hear the abstract? Listening to hip-hop? Okay, good!

H: Hip-hop, don't stop!

K: I was just...

H: I dropped a pop! Wizzle on chop when you get stopped at the hospital when the doctor when I'm not cooperating.

K: Okay. I can just try to one-up me, whenever you want. Sure. Sounds good.

H: (Laughs). Whatever! You knew way old-schooler hip-hop than I did.

K: That's true. I mean, I'm just saying that you could try...

H: Oh, but I'm failing.

K: And...won't do it.

H: Die, you stupid suit of armor! It is unacceptable that you are still in one piece!

K: Ah yes, now build it up, buttercup. Oh...

H: You need to hold down the button.

K: Yes but...but I didn't realize it was me doing it.

H: (Singing) Baby toaster!

K: (Singing) Baby toaster! Just to let me down, and toast me around! Yeah, worst of all!

H: (Singing) You never make panini when you say you will!

K: Oh God, and I love panini so much!

H: (Singing) George Foreman grill! 

Both: (Laughing)

K: (Laughing) That was awesome. That...was...

H: (Laughs)

K: Awesome.

H: You liked that.

H: (Singing) I need you! More than I need a pager!

K: (Singing) Good to grill up my sandwich!

H: (Singing) To make me a sandwich with cheeeese!

K: (Singing) Cruuuunch. So pick me up, buttercup, make me my lunch!

Both: (Laughing)

H: (Singing) Grill me up...

K: No, don't do it! No.

H: No! In cards oh, Hi Lemon! What do you want?

K: She's like, you guys are yelling!

H: Why are you yelling at you? Why are you yelling at each other?

K: Why are you always yelling!? Go on!

H: Where are we going?

K: Why don't you go away?

H: Why don't you go away, Lemon? Because if I go away I may pee on something. Do you want that?

K: That is not ideal.

H: I am so high in the air, I'm gonna push...I'm gonna go as high as I can and push C, and I'm gonna dieee! Except I'm so bouncy.

K: Not how that works in this game. Um,

H: I need a parachute.

K: Yeah, I mean...

H: (Confusion noises)

K: (Sneezes)

H: (More weird noises along with the game music)

K: Bless me. Thank you, honey.

H: I didn't even hear you sneeze!

K: Hm. Mhm.

H: I was so in the game zone!

K: Aw, she went and laid down. Great. Well it is comfortable.

H: Hagrid is not as...

K: And there is no one yelling at her.

H: Even Hagrid is scared. What is this sausage patty? I will have one of those.

K: It's a biscuit!

H: I want a sausage patty, though.

K: No, I don't want a sausage patty though, I would much rather have a biscuit.

H: No, well, a biscuit with a sausage patty on it.

K: It's not that kind of biscuit, honey.

H: Oh. A with tea, and crumpets.

K: No, not crumpets.

H: Cookie.

K: Yes.

H: A cookie like a cookie biscuit.

K: Yes.

H: Is there a warrant for my arrest?

K: Yes.

H: Ballsack!

K: You have to go to Askaban because there's a suspicion that you are, again, the heir of Slytherin opening the Chamber of Secrets and letting out the monster.

H: Yes. Aragoging out. Come on, he's freaking Hagrid.

K: Seriously. He does love monsters, though.

H: Dumbledore is like, one of his major skills as a wizard is like, being a good judge of character.

K: Right, also, seeing people who are invisible.

H: Right, that was one thing he can do. (gibberish)

K: Do not want to be...

H: Ahh! Ahh.

K: Oh great, these guys again.

H: You've just gotta shoot'em.

K: Shoot, shoot it.

H: Shoot it.

K: You gotta shoot it before it shoots you. Hm. 

H: (Singing) Shoot it before it shoots you, baby baby.

K: Oh, wavy! 

H: Hedge dance!

K: (Laughing)

K: (Singing) Hedge, magic, dance!

H: (Singing) Magic hedge!

K: (Singing) Magic dance! 

H: (Singing) Magic, work that magic hedge on me!

K: This part is...just been a lot of, um...

H: Yeah, we've been singing a lot. Singing a lot.

K: Singing! I do not like this thing!

H: (Laughs) It looks kind of scary.

K: I do not want to be riding it, it looks like a slimy!

H: Yes, does, it reminds me of...

K: Can you shoot those things? 

H: What things? 

K: That are red and obviously need to be shot!

H: The toadstools, you mean?

K: Yeah, the toadstools. I just...crushed Fang

H: What is wrong with Fang? Oh, you crushed him! Hop, hop! Oh, you needed that! To get up there!

K: Yeah. Yeah.

H: Help me! I am a dog. Help me, I am a dog.

K: I'll be there in a second.

H: Oh, come on, really?

K: (Laughing)

H: What are you making? Oh, a cloud.

K: I'm building a cloud for some reason?

H: That will come in handy. Make the cloud! Makin' it rain!

K: Ok, yeah I do need to make it rain.

H: I got the bankroll! Makin' it rain, I'm makin' it snow.

K: Ughhhhhh

H: Apparently making it rain just makes it...

K: Stupid.

H: Lots of...

K: Are you stuck now? Come on, come on! Get it, get it!

H: Get it over here?

K: Raaaiiiiiinnnn....

H: Ohh, you're making that hedge monster dance, magic hedge!

K: Bowtruckles go to work! Bowtruckles assemble!

H: I was trying to kill them! But they're good!

K: Yeah, they're...they're building you a ladder!

H: Well that was nice of them. Are Bowtruckles always good?

K: No, but they are in this game, maybe.

H: (Singing) Dance, magic, hedge, magic, dance!

K: (Laughing) I love that song!

H: (Laughs) You remind me of a hedge.

K: What hedge?

H: The hedge with the power!

K: What power?

H: (Laughing) The power of voo-doo

K: (Laughing) Who-do?

H: You do.

K: Voo-dut!?

H: Remind me of the hedge!

K: (Laughs)

H: Voo-dot?

H: (Singing) I saw my hedgy!

K: Oh, in the hell did I end up over here? That is just weird. I did not know what I was doing

H: (Singing) Trying hard as hedges could...try.

K: (Mimics guitar sounds)

H: (Singing) Look what I doo!

K: Why? Again? Dig! Dig dig dig! Dig dig dig, Fang!

H: There you go. What, oh my god, Fang! You knocked over an old growth tree!

K: He is an earth-moving...

H: I am an earth moving! 

K: Piece of equipment.

H: I am an earth mover.

K: Why isn't that...

H: Thingamajig gonna assemble?

K: Yeah. Wait a second, why am I Harry again? 

H: LEGO bolts, assemble!!

K: I am so confused.

H: I am...

K: I thought I was Fang?

H: Oh. (Laughs)

K: Yeah! Uh-huh! Yup!

H: Oh.

K: Stupid, I know!

H: I was Fang.

K: Yeah. Yup. I tried to become Fang...a lot! 

H: I think you were Fang, for a second.

K: And then I wasn't Fang and then, oh gosh.

H: Yes, I, then I became Fang.

K: All the buttons. They just...

H: There's a lot of buttons.

K: Confound me.

H: Confound me! Ohhhh! What did I do?

K: (High-pitched scream)

K: Stinging! Stinging thing of death

H: Fang and I are in the water.

K: If you don't mind, I'm doing something...

H: Ok, well I didn't mean to. I fell. I fell into a thing.

K: Okay. 

H: Into a hole.

K: Okay, see bong bing...bong....

H: Hello! Unravel?

K: I am always gonna do things, and then you do them first.

H: Well. I'm a little bit faster than you because I am less concerned...OW!

K: What are you less concerned about? You sh...!

H: Why did it? Why did Fang just lay down? That was cute.

K: Because he was waiting for us to do something.

H: Oh, get on that broom, Har' Potter. We can only go up one way. Do I need to do something?

K: I have no idea. I need to kill these things before they kill me though.

H: Okay. I'm gonna go on this broom and I'm gonna be bad at it, but I'm gonna do it. I'm just a little slower than you are. What is this?

K: I made a ramp, so you can, you can come up here.

H: Okay, good. Good.

K: Can you shoot this thing? Oh, I can shoot it. Sweet.

H: I cannot shoot it because I cannot shoot when I am on a broom.

K: I made that thing so that Fang could come up, maybe.

H: Yes. Yes. Definitely. Ooh! That is magic repellent!

K: It is magic repellent. I thought for sure I was going to be able to do something to it, but nope!

H: Maybe later we will know how to un-magic repellent things.

K: Yes. Or maybe it's just like, uh, uhhhh...super strong.

H: Sup...yes! 

K: You know. Soup.

H: I like soup.

K: Super strong.

H: I'm standing right next to these mushrooms, shoot the frickin' mushrooms. Do a dance! Do a mushroom dance!

K: (Frustrated sounds)

H: What are those, pixies?

K: Yes, they're being helpful for once.

H: Oh!

K: No they're not!

H: Hey, bad, bad pixies!

K: (Whispering) Stupid pixies.

K: Don't move on yet! Things to do!

H: We can't move on, we need to frickin' pixies!

K: I need the Bowtruckles

H: Oh. Nevermind.

K: Hey, look-it! Every single one of these things!

H: I know, I'm shooting them! Making bolts! Studs!

K: But...good...just making sure!

H: Look at how many of them we made!

K: So many. Sorry Fang!

H: (Sad dog sound)

K: (Sad laugh)

H: (weird voice) Ohoho sad dog noise!

K: (Sad dog sound)

K: It's okay, Lemon.

H: Don't worry about us.

K: She was like..."why?"

H: Why?

K: Why'd you make that noise you guys?

H: What's this, it's glittering?

K: Yeah it's like glowing green. Oh, there you go.

Both: Dance magic hedge!

K: Dance magic hedge! Dance. Magic hedge. Magic hedge. Magic hedge. Magic hedge. Magic hedge. Maaagic hedge!

H: Ahhhh you hit me in the butt!

K: Sorry.

H: Out of my way, Harry Potter!

K: Out of my way, Ronny Potter! Ronny. Ronny...

H: Ah, I got it!

Both: Ron sweater!!

K: Ron sweater. I'm having a, uh...serious flashback because I just did this.

H: Did you?

K: Yeah. (Deep sigh).

H: Die! Die, die die die!. Die. Die. Die. Sorry. I didn't mean for you to die. To the mushroom pants!

K: (Laughing) Everything dance! Everything dance!

H: This is going to be the last one! Ten of ten! Oh my god we got a piece of a thing!

K: (Sings a fanfare)

H: (Mimics her)

H: Alright, you frickin' frackies!

K: Frickin' frackies? You frickin frackies!

H: Frickin frackies. I'm gettin' you. I'm gettin' you. Sometimes. Every once and a while.

K: (Laughs)

H: Yeah! Die! Cornish P....ahhh!

K: Watch out!

H: That was a headbanging tree.

K: That tree was not pleased!

H: Dig it!

K: Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig!

H: Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, ah watch out Fang! Watch out, oh God!

K: Oh, no.

H: Oh, god there's gonna be so many spiders.

K: I don't want to. Okay.

H: Okay, well we're going to face the spiders next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4.

K: I need to steel myself first.

H: Steeling! We're going to, we have to steel ourselves.

K: Alright.

H: Okay.

K: Goodbye.

H: Goodbye!