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Duration:10:03
Uploaded:2011-04-01
Last sync:2018-05-13 12:30
In which Hank slows down a bit among a bunch of androids with machine guns...I mean...WTF!
Hello, and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. Last time on Hank Green plays portal -

(0:06) (GLaDOS: Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable) I don't believe you. (GLaDOS: It has been replaced with a live fire course designed for military androids) Oh, Jesus. Well, now that we've begun that section of the game. Um, so yeah, I did, I did that last level much more, much better than I expected to. 

(0:32) Ah! Don't shoot me, don't shoot me, don't shoot me! Ah, geez. Everybody's freaking out. Stop freaking out! (Turret: Are you still there?) Are you still there? 

(0:52) Ah! Ah. Ah shoot! Okay. Yes! So, as I was saying, last time - there's my blood all over the wall, that's good - I did surprisingly well on a Portal chamber and this time I am-

(1:29) (Turret: There you are) there you are, hey, do you really want me to put you down? Ah! Um, and now, I have a fricking, to take care of a bunch of fricking robots! Which is not fun.

(1:48) I'll at least - oh, here's one of the chambers, "the cake is lie". I don't want. So we've got "a trusted friend in science", "Aperture Science", "Hello?", "Can I help you?". I have a bunch hash marks to describe how long they've been here, "tasty cake", energy ball, very sad. Oh, you should make this fall on that, that's good, that's good to know.

(3:34) How do you crouch in this game? 'c'? No. I don't know how to crouch. There's a way to crouch on the Xbox version. 'Control', 'tab', nope. Well I don't know how to crouch, or else I would go over there and see what's over there, but I don't know how. 

(2:54) Okay, so - ah, ahhhh! So the death! Too much death. Ah, ah! I did not mean to jump down here! Oh geez oh geez oh geez oh geez oh geez oh geez oh geez oh geez oh geez! Ah, man. Well, that's how I died. Um, sorry for the noise, I just touched my microphone. 

(3:30) (Turret: Search mode activated!) Search mode activated. Um, so yeah. "Help", it says. God, that's just so creepy. I find that to be very creepy. (Turret: Searching) Stop searching! Ah, geez. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, this time I will not jump into my own portal and into the direct line of fire. 

(4:03) You can't shoot through my cube! Oh, my goodness gracious I almost died. (Turret: Target lost) Target lost! Excellent, I like it when you lose me. Okay. Stop shooting at me! Geez! Right! That's right, you little - oh you. (Turret: Put me down!)I did put you dow-ah, ah! Stop shooting in random directions! Oh my God. Okay.

(4:58) So, so far this has gone okay. I've only died once. Ah, uh, ah! Oh geez! I didn't think you could see me. (Turret: Resting) Resting. That's not creepy. Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez. 

(5:25) Ah, man. They're covering me from every angle! Ah! Ah. Don't activate! No activating allowed! Yep, you're shooting me, that's great. There's a bunch of these, with a broken shoot. And that's loud! Stop shooting at me, oh my God! Why? Why do - why are you so angry? What? Who just shot me? (Turret: Good night) Good night. 

(6:08) (Turret: Are you still there?) Yes, I am still here. Knock him over! Yes, you are dead, you are so dead. Okay. Alright, now I need that cube again, come to me cube! (Turret: Goodbye) Goodbye.

(6:34) I-I encourage - no-noooooo! How did that happen? Okay. That was my fault. That was my fault. I could have done better. I could have done way - Oh, I have to start all the way back here? That's lame!

(6:50) Oh, stop, stop! (Turret: I don't blame you) I don't blame you. Oh, geez. I walked right over a portal. Stupid portals, always everywhere. (Turret: Whyyy?) Whyyy? Why are you so creepy? Why?

(7:34) That is, that is the death of a small robot. Okay. Now I've got a cube here. Just going to walk right into you. That is how I do. My bullet proof cube. Ah, ah! Man! Everywhere I go! 

(8:00) I look through this, see. Ah, ah! Look at all the bullet holes in that cube! God! Okay, goodnight. (Turret: Deploying) Nope, don't deploy! What am I doing? Maybe if I just run straight across? There's nowhere to go though. Go in the hole, in the hole! Why did the hole disappear? Did I shoot the wrong portal? 

(8:42) Oh, goodness gracious. Oh, I can shoot through the fence. No one told me I could shoot through the fence. Yup, shoot the wall a lot and it's cool. (GLaDOS: Vital testing apparatus destroyed) I'm not a fan of you GLaDOS, I don't care - oh, I dropped it on my head though, that was not ideal.

(9:08) Okay, I can't get behind this one. Maybe I can, right here. Yes I can. Good. I did, I put you down. You asked me to put you down, I put you down. What? I did it? I did it?

(9:28) (GLaDOS: Well done, android...) Yeah, they're pretending I'm an android, they think oh, you must be an android. (Groan) Okay. 

(9:40) Thank you for watching this edition of Hank Green plays Portal. Portal 1, I guess I should say, since Portal 2 is on the verge of existing. And I'm excited about Portal 2, but I'm going to end this episode here. Next time you will not see me and I will not see you, but you will hear me, playing Portal. Goodbye!