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Receiving the Ultimate Blowjob is pretty simple:

1. Clean and tidy up your dick so it's delicious and
2. Be respectful.

Giving one is a lot more tricky. and there's so much social pressure to be really good, even if you've never done it before! Here's some advice for all of life, including the epic blowjob: you will naturally progress with practice. The trick is removing everything that gets in the way of practicing. 

I'm going to go through 14 of the most common fellatio concerns, and give you three times as many ways to cope with them.


Concern # 1: I'm clueless! I don't know what to do!

*This* video; *this* playlist; banana. 

Get permission, choose a private post-shower occasion, and face your friend's crotch. Then look up, let them know that you're ready. Draw saliva from your throat (it's more viscous back here) then lather your tongue, lap at the whole shaft, get it nice and wet, purse your wet lips around the glans, slide on like a vagina, guide it with one hand, move your body like you're getting off, maybe even 69, moan, pull off slowly, then kiss the tip. 

That should get you started!

BJ Concern # 2: Foreskin 
I'm often asked what to do differently if the penis is intact. I want to say it's as simple as the foreskin retracts as your mouth moves back and forth, but foreskin is not a one-size-fits-all situation, so you need to ask your partner how they want their foreskin to be treated during a blowjob. 

BJ Concern #3: Gagging

If the body senses it might swallow something hazardous, there's a gag reflex that causes the tongue and throat muscles to go "Nope! Not getting in!" Regularly placing a large object (like a toothbrush) in your mouth, just shy of the trigger and holding it there steadily, can train your body to trust intentional contact. "See body? I'm not trying to choke you."

BJ Concern # 4: Deep-throating

When it comes to blowjob culture, there is an enormous draw to deep-throat so that the phallus not only enters the mouth without choking, but also the throat. The key is to create an open passageway. If I'm upright, the phallus could go in at an unpleasant angle. Find the positions that are the most comfortable for your unique mouth and your partner's unique penis. 
Here's a trade secret: pressing here, here, here, or holding your thumb in your fist like this can stop the gag-reflex. I prefer to place a hand on the shaft, as an extension of the mouth - if the hand is nice and slippery, and there's a good seal between it and the lips, then it's like deep-throating, without engaging the throat. 

BJ Concern # 5: Hands

Lots of people worry about what they should do  with their hands. These glorious things? Cup the scrotum and the testicles, stroke the whole body, nipples, arms, anus, move them with your mouth, grab the hips, touch yourself, hold a toy, comb the pubic hair, remove pubes from your tongue, spank, rub, scratch, hold, tickle, pull in close or gently push away. 

BJ Concern #6: Talking with your mouth full
Communication tip - if you have a hand that can reach your partner's mouth, while you give a blowjob, your partner can blow your fingers in the way that they want you to blow their penis. Or, you can move your fingers in their mouth the way you want them to move their penis in yours. Moaning is another form of communication. And non-verbal cues set in advance, like: "If I pull my mouth off your penis, I need a break, and if you don't let me free, I'll bite you."

BJ Concerns # 7 & 8: Small mouth and TMD

Temporomandibular Disorders are problems with the temporomandibular muscles or joints - the ones that connect the jawbone to the skull right here in front of each ear. 

First - this medical problem deserves treatment. One form of that is avoiding extreme jaw movement.

Second - a blowjob doesn't have to include penetration. and that goes for everyone. If you want to give the sensation of oral penetration, slide your lips along the penis while giving extra licking and sucking attention to the frenulum. Remember the art of kissing. 

BJ Concern # 9: Taste

The taste of semen depends on the person cumming and the person tasting. My suggestion is to use condoms or request an external orgasm, this way you can dip your finger in it for a small taste to determine what you want to do with it next time. Occasionally you'll get a sweet load, like a warm smoothie. Mostly though, splooge is described as salty or soapy, even as off-putting as congealed armpit sweat. If you don't want that, don't put it in your mouth!

Ask for a pearl necklace - the semen to be ejaculated on your neck.  Careful not to get it in your eyes and watch for skin irritation.

if you choose to swallow, but want to curb the taste, you can shoot it below your tongue, or past your tongue where there aren't taste buds. You can also wrap it up with your own saliva so it's diluted. 

BJ Concern #10: Teeth

Do a test run on a zucchini - they're especially sensitive to teeth, so you'll be able to tell right away if you're at risk for raking someone. Ideally the lips are closed slightly more than the teeth, so that they come in contact with the phallus first and keep it that way. 

BJ Concern # 11: Braces (aka "metal head")

Indeed, braces are a bit more tricky, because they're like teeth, but with tiny TANKS on them! Eating is difficult with them, let alone kissing or oral sex. Do not fear though my brace-faced friends! Orthodontists have wax - ask for extra. When your mouth isn't so sore or cut up, roll it into snake shapes, and then place them here, like bumpers. Like all these new experiences, you'll adjust and it will get easier with practice. 

BJ Concerns # 12 & 13: It takes too long, or not long enough. 

If you're concerned with a blowjob taking too long or not lasting long enough, I want you to think about why this is an issue. there isn't a specific cook time for orgasms. and blowjobs don't have to include orgasm at all. Stop whenever you need to. Take breaks. ask what might slow down or speed up arousal. Sometimes, raising the testicles closer to the body, moaning so there's a slight vibration on the penis, and acting like you yourself are preparing to cum can expedite things. Just as gently pulling the testicles away from the body, and moving attention to other areas and asking your partner to give you oral sex for a while can slow things down.

BJ Concern # 14: Reciprocation

Ah, the debate of reciprocity. "if I go down on you, you should go down on me." If I choose to give head, I am choosing to do something. My partner can choose something else to reciprocate pleasure, but it doesn't have to be oral sex. If I don't like that, it's because I'm blowing with expectations. Blow with enthusiasm, not expectations! And stay curious! 

Feel free to share additional blowjob techniques and troubleshooting in the comments. And while you're in the giving mood, check out our Patreon page to support future episodes of Sexplanations. Please!

You and me dude!

(off-screen) Oh no! (Laughter)