Hank: Hello, and welcome to Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. We're still in this house. You're making a thing grow. And you found Ginny! There she was!

Katherine: Yeah.

H: She was in the chair that was hopping around.

K: You just have to use this...this part.

H: And we're...ah...stop...ah...where are you going?

K: I'm just shooting because you obviously did not.

H: Okay! You just sh...you're just shooting me. Ooh! Nice...nice little roll there, girl.

K: She's...

H: Hi!

K: Good at it. 

H: Let's go. What did...did you just throw a portkey?

K: Uh...

H: What are we doing?

K: It's floo powder. We're going to...

H: Ah, it's floo powder! 

K: We're going to the fricking...gonna buy some stuff, man! Have to buy some stuff.

H: Learning how to use floo powder. It's so scary to me. Ahhh!

K: Diagonally.

H: The heck...diagonally! Right, he ends up in Knockturn Alley.

K: Yes. That was the point when I said, ohh...diagonally! That's...

H: (Laughs). When you said, oh that's...that's a funny thing!

K: I never noticed that before, I am stupid. Perhaps unobservant.

H: There is a place in Missoula called Diagon Lane

K: Yeah. There's actually a whole...little development over by the airport where the streets are named after Harry Potter characters.

H: But why Diagon Lane?

K: I don't know why Diagon Lane.

H: It ruins the whole thing.

K: That is dumb. Um, something is...oh it's Hagrid, yay! I lost my hand.

H: My...my hand!

K: What? Okay.

H: It's just like Star Wars, suddenly. Losing hands.

K: No problem. Hey, all of the studs! Give them to me!

H: Oh, we get to shoot some...oh I'm Hagrid! Do I have...I can't do anything!

K: You can't? You can't use magic at all?

H: I can shoot. Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! It looks like a giant spider came out of that, but...

K: Get away! I am...

H: I'm so sorry that I'm interfering.

K: I'm growing these heads! I am growing them and growing them! See? I had to do that.

H: And if I was there...you know. I could have caused some serious problems.

K: Well, you were running away...

H: Is that hand holding a kazoo? No. It's not, it's holding some bolts. It needs to open.

K: Yeah, well I'm sure there's something we need to do to make that happen. Hey I built this cloud!

H: Hey! And there are fish! You're right. They are fish.

K: How many times did I say they were fish!

H: (Laughs)

K: Why do you think we put them all in the water? In the forbidden forest! Do you think people like soggy drumsticks? That's not why we did that! We didn't put them in there because people like soggy drumsticks!

H: Hey, I can see! I'm ignoring you. I...thought they looked like drumsticks.

K: That's typical. Ooh I exploded that eyeball! Sorry eyeball.

H: (Sings Hedwig's theme quietly)

K: There's some stairs there? Yeah, let's go up the stairs, eh?

H: (Coughs) Puttin' some clothes on the skeleton. Yeah! Dance around!

K: (Sings)

H: (Sings) Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!

K: What did that get us? Nothing!

H: Nothing! Got us nothing!

K: What in the heck?

H: I've got to open this hand so I can have a kazoo.

K: Seriously. Open! Uh...there's a s...

H: Oh, there's a man. And a painting up there, having a problem.

K: Oh, shoot him!

H: No, he's being chased by a dragon.

K: Oh. Can you shoot him?

H: Wait, no. I see a pull thing! There's a pull thing for Hagrid to pull. Wow. I didn't...couldn't see it.

K: Wow, that was...that's the mirror!

H: Could only see it in the mirror.

K: That's why you had to clean the mirror off.

H: Swoopity swoop swoop swoop. Swoopity swoop! What did you make?

K: I don't know. Something for smashing.

H: It's the...oh it's something for him, so he can have help.

K: Oh, that's nice.

H: Yay! It's a sword! Ohh! I feel bad for the dragon, though.

K: Totally. Poor dragon!

H: But he's giving us a key. Stick it in this hole over here, Harry Potter! Stick it in the hole! Wow! It exploded. It's one of those fancy new exploding locks.

K: I...

H: (Sings)

K: (Yawning) I'm too tired to talk interesting...(regular voice) interesting.

H: Well we don't have, we don't have to do too much. We can just do...the...do doo doody doot.

K: Doody doot.

H: Just doody doot.

K: Ahh! Thank goodness. It was dark back here.

H: You seem to talk interestingly...

K: Eh. Boing! Boing! Why are these...all these things...AHH! Darth Vader! Emperor Palpatine?

H: No? Lord Voldemort? Maybe?

K: He looks like a Sith Lord! It's not my fault!

H: He does look like a Sith Lord. It's unsurprising, uh, that bad guys look so similar...

K: When they're made into LEGO? 

H: From series to series. Especially when they're made into LEGO.

K: (Laughs). 

H: Look at what I did!

K: I did that.

H: Well I pulled the strap.

K: You pulled the chain, I made it possible.

H: Ahhhhh!

K: All brawn.

H: Yes, well I wasn't allowed to finish school!

K: Dooby doot.

H: Because some douche said that, uh, my pet spider killed people!

K: Wait...

H: Which is a total lie.

K: Everyone stop.

H: What's wrong?

K: I need to see what this is, right here. Ah, give it!

H: You got it!

K: Okay, good. Hey! Three of four! That's the most I've ever had.

H: Seriously! True wizard!

K: Ooh, that was fast.

H: I'm on a cart.

K: Yeah you are. Where's the horse?

H: Uh, the cart is the horse. 

K: Oh. That's...

H: It was bucking.

K: What? That's weird. Ahh! Lalalala!

H: It's Harry Potter land. Where are we going? This way?

K: I don't know. I... I guess.

H: Yes, underneath.

K: Oh, hm.

H: (Singing) To stop the train in cases of emergencies just pull on the chain.

K: (Laughs) What?

H: Don't know that song?

K: (Laughing) No? I've never heard that song.

H: (Laughs)

K: That is a song you made up!

H: No I didn't! No!

K: (Singing/mocking Hank) To stop the train in cases of emergency just call Gilderoy Lockhart! He has got...pain for your brain!

H: He's got pain for your brain. Nooo! Don't...this is going to be a bad thing! Yeah you think it's hilarious.

K: Look at their disgusting faces.

H: You have disgusting faces!

K: They look like douches even...even as LEGO. Aw...

H: Ah, it's a bad book.

K: Dobby knew that was gonna happen!

H: He did.

K: What do we...

H: That was it.

K: That...oh that was it.

H: That was it.

K: Okay.

H: We have more time to fill, though.

K: (Yawning) Oh, goody!

H: What? How did we not get all of them?

K: We um...

H: Didn't find the student in peril.

K: We are failures.

H: Well. I'm glad we got that settled. This, this is a beautiful screen compared to our general...screens.

K: It is, actually. What...I don't know

H: Why did, why did...the first year we didn't get beautiful sunsets on our stud total screen. 

K: That is a good point.

H: Leaky Cauldron. We're gonna get this ghost bolts thing (stumbles over words)

K: I knew that I wanted to go to the owl store for a reason! And you kept scoffing at me, and now we know that I was going, I was doing the right thing. My impulse was correct.

H: (Coughs). But not for the right reason.

K: Yes. I didn't know why. But it was right!

H: Heh! Heh!

K: Beh? Beh.

H: Your noise is much cuter than mine.

K: Heh!

H: Yeah.

K: Heh!

H: Heh!

K: Heh!

H: Heh!

K: (Laughs)

H: We get those bolts from like a million miles away now.

K: Do it again, Harry.

H: Do what again?

K: Eh? I don't know.

H: Heh!

K: Heh!

H: Heh! See there's a thing, it's got a gold brick.

K: No, that's not it.

H: Oh. B.

K: There's like a...a...yeah. It's like secret place up here.

H: Oh there's a secret place.

K: That you can't really find. Keep going. Yess

H: Stud magnet...collect ghost bolts! What else do we got? We got carrot wands.

K: No.

H: Disguise. Ice rink?

K: That just makes everything slippery!

H: Which seems like a bad idea, seems like something you wouldn't want.

K: I know considering that we already fall off everything all the time.

H: That's...let's not get that.

K: Let's not get that. And now we are stuck. How do we get out of this room? It is...there we go! There we go! Harry found it. 

H: What did I find?

K: The exit.

H: I'm in a hole?

K: Yeah.

Both: (Laugh)

H: I don't feel like this is really an exit.

K: Hi owls!

H: Hi owls! Shoot you!

K: Wait, there's something here for me to make!

H: I know, I was going to build it myself but then you did a thing and I didn't get to...oh it's one of those! I love them. They're fun.

K: It's your favorite thing to ride around. Sweepy sweep, sweepy sweep! See, you're cleaning!

H: (Singing) I'm cleaning everything!

K: You're cleaning up all the owl poop. You love to clean in video games. So...um...uncharacteristic of you in the real world.

H: Ahh...Ah yes.

K: Look at you clean it up!

H: Why is it so dirty in here?

K: Because it's...the...

H: This doesn't actually look like it's helping at all.

K: One hundred...

H: It looks like it's ma...it's possible making it more dirty.

K: No! Look at the floor, you can see the floor now! This guy is gonna give you something when you're done, maybe.

H: What? No.

K: There's gotta be a reason why this is possible.

H: No, it's just a thing.

K: No. 

H: It..the...the floor looks exactly the same!

K: No it doesn't! Look at the floor over by the thing. And then look at that floor. That floor used to look like that floor, now it doesn't.

H: So you're saying that if I do this over here...it will...it will eventually...

K: Yeah. You have to focus on that area. Clean that area up, maybe.

H: I don't know, man.

K: I could be wrong.

H: I think, I think it looks exactly the same as it always did.

K: (Laughs).

H: It's like, it's like at the...at the old...the old...(mumbles).

Both (Mumble a lot).

H: Pick the dust up and put it right back down!

K: But we're coming straight back down again. (Mumbles.)

H: (Mumbles). I whisk you!

K: (Laughs)

H: That's not doing any good. Okay, I'm leaving.

K: See! HAHA! Gold frickin' brick!

H: (Laughs). Okay. You were right.

K: There is a purpose to everything in this game, you just have to spend a whole lot of time trying to figure it out.

H: Diagon...what the fricky?

K: I don't know I built a bouncing crate for some reason.

H: A bouncy crate man. Oh, hold on. Hold on, stay on there. I'm gonna pick it up.

K: Okay.

H: And you're gonna...oh. Nope.

K: Nope. I'm gonna jump up and down and turn into a crate again.

H: Hey sir, did you want to be upside down?

K: Hm

H: I know sometimes I want to be upside.

K: LA la la la la la la la la!

H: Ah! Cart!

Both: (Laugh)

K: I was not trying to hit you with that cart.

H: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, we're not doing anything.

K: Let's go back to Hogwarts.

H: You mean let's go back to...cart! (Laughs) Blocked! Well that person got hit.

K: Can we go back to Hogwarts. Hogwarts. Hoggy Warty Hogwarts!

H: We can. We have to end this episode of LEGO Harry Potter, though.

K: (Singing) Teach us something please!

H: What, do you know this song?

K: (Sings)

H: (Singing) Pull down the chain!

K: (Laughs) Yeah you can make up songs so I can... 

H: I didn't make that song up! That is a...that is a song!

K: I don't believe you.

H: The comments will hear me out.

K: I...

H: There will be lots of people who will say, Katherine that's a real song.

K: (Mocking voice) I know that song! I sang that song at camp!

H: Shut up!

K: (Mocking voice) 'Cause that's where all the stupid songs come from! And everyone who went to camp belongs to a special club!

H: (Coughs). You're ridiculing me and it hurts

K: (Mocking voice) Our lives are so much better for camp!

H: Because of camp.

K: (Mocking voice) Because of camp!

H: Because of camp I know that song.

K: (Mocking voice) And you can lord it over everyone who never went to camp.

H: Because of camp...

K: (Mocking voice) Like a bunch of douches.

H: I'm better at Harry Potter than you are.

K: Well that's not true. That's obviously not one of the benefits of going to camp. Unless you go to video game camp, which you didn't

H: (Coughing) I have to stop, I think. I can't breath.

K: Alright I'll finish it up. Ahhhh...this is the end of this episode of Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. We will not see you and you will not see us but you will hear us next time. Goodbye.

H: (Coughing) Goodbye!