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In which Hank and Katherine kick the smack talk up a notch, as the fight for the illustrious crown!

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Game I Played:


Hank: Hello and welcome to Games with Hank, I'm Hank, this is games with me, and this is my wife, Katherine.

Katherine: Welcome to Wii Wednesday. 

Hank: Also Wife Wednesday.  Today on Wii Wednesday, we're playing Super Mario 3D World as we have been for the last--well, for--

Katherine: One episode.

Hank: --an entire series of Wii Wednesdays, and-- and last time we completed two worlds, one underground-y and one up, up, fall, death die land.  Up fall death die land.

Katherine: No, it's the Koopa Cave.

Hank: Well, the first one.

Katherine: --with pipes.

Hank: First. underground...first we did an underground one and then we did an up, up, death die one. And I'm wearing a crown because I won and Katherine lost.

Katherine: *sigh*

Hank: Enjoy your tea...loser. Today on...what? Did you just spit tea all over yourself for dramatic effect? 

Katherine: (laughs) It's possible.

Hank: Let's play the game!

Katherine: YAY!

Hank: Here we are, we're going to run into this football player, I don't know why, but maybe we're going to have to jump on his head, probably that's what you usually do

 Chargin' Chuck Blockade (0:54)

Katherine: Chargin' a Chuck

Hank: Chargin' Chuck Blockade. Oh there's two. AHHH, run away! What did you do? Ah, now I'm tiny. You-- Okay well I'm just going to get the coins and the star.

Katherine: You are such a nugget! You know, you got the star which means we didn't get all the coins--

Hank: I didn't know h--!

Katherine: --and you dropped your crown!

Hank: I didn't know the functionality! It's really not fair. That was really not fair. 

Katherine: Yeah, you were not a nice person. Oh, Slytherin! That's the word I'm looking for!

Hank: Oh my goodness.

Katherine: Do you know what a Hufflepuff would never do?... What you just did. Why did we just skip the mushroom house?

Hank: Have a good time..?

Katherine: Whahow. Only if they're playing games with Slythl-- Slytherins.

 Mount Beanpole (1:44)

Hank: Wow, look at that big tower. You just picked me...Ah hey now! Hey there ho there. Do you know what a Hufflepuff would never do? Is throw her husband off a cliff.

Katherine: Whooho!

Hank: Wow, you just almost slid yourself into oblivion. I'm just gonna shimmy up. I'm gonna shimmy up here. Ooh neat. Can we control this? Not with out the game pad, but still very cool. (sings) Ah wicka waka waka waka wika nicka chikca waka. I got it! There was a star up on that one.

Katherine: Oh god, oh god.

Hank: Thanks for killing that thing for me! OH gosh, thanks for killing that thing for me too. Kitty!!! (imitating the kitty sound) Yah! I love it! Whoo, you made me fly, dear. 

Katherine: Wow! Just kicked that thing's buttocks! 

Hank: Oh, hello there.

Katherine: Yeah, why don't you just go get that.--

Hank: okay.

Katherine: I think you're gonna need it since you die so much.

Hank: I like this new antagonistic thing that we've got going on. Hey! Oh well, I was gonna get a thing but I guess I'm not. Oh, get that one!  Yeah!

Katherine: Oh my god, go slower.

Hank: Oh, I did not realize...Ah!... I did not mean to be...oh my gosh, oh my god.

Katherine: Push the run-y button! 

Hank: I'm pushing the run-y button now. I'll let you get it. Come get it. Where are you?

Katherine: I don't know.--

Hank: You're in a bubble

Katherine: --I'm just in a bubble for some reason.

Hank: Get it. See? I'm nice. I'm nice. Gryffindor!-- 

Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: --Ravenclaw, not Slytherin. 

Katherine: I like the kitties so much better than the squirrel.

Hank: Yeah, kitty is better than the squirrel. It's got the attack--

Katherine: The squirrel is really annoying.

Hank: --It's really, it's weird that in Mario you tend to not have an attack. You just have jumping and landing. And like, it's weird to have an attack.

Katherine: AH! Kitty!

Hank: You okay?

Katherine: Nope. Nope. How do I bubble? How do I bubble? Awe...

Hank: Uh, I don't remember. I'm coming! I'm a kitty!

Katherine: I do the work and you take the credit. Sound good? Sound good?

Hank: Sounds good to me. What happens with this thing? Oh.

Katherine: Oh. 

Hank: We're going into it, Oh and then it fires us into outer space! Oh gosh. Oh gosh OH GOSH! I did not, I did not bubble. 

Katherine: Holy Crap. 

Hank: You are a fast kitty! Yeah there it is! That's my girl. Wow. And then ground pound into oblivion. Did I die or did I not die? I don't know.

Katherine: I don't know.

Hank: Excuse me, birds!!!

Katherine: Birds. Oh god. Oh shoot... Shoot, shoot-- 'S okay, it's makin' me really nervous.--

Hank: I died.

Katherine: -- This is making me really nervous. 

Hank: I died. I died.
Katherine: Ooh oh oh...oh kitty. Okay take--

Hank: Oh gosh. Oh god. Oh god.

Katherine:-- take your time.

Hank: Do you know who is not very good at game? Me. Oh, oh well you just go ahead and be the winner then. Got all the moves in all the right places.

Katherine: (singing) All the right --

Hank: Junk.

Katherine: --junk

Hank: Junk? Is it junk?

Katherine: --...jumps

Hank:(singing) All the right junk in all the right...I think it's junk. We got a hundred seconds left. we got a metric minute, left to go. It's all good. Oh oh why is this so low down? Oh you can run up the pole. Oh god. Get up to the top of the pole!

Katherine: (laughing)

Hank: That would have been really angering. I don't like it when I don't get to the top of the pole. 

Katherine: Yay kitty! Meow!

Hank: Meow! Double Meows! Alright...Aww...

Katherine: I left that tea in for too long. It now tastes--

Hank: It's a-- Not so good?

Katherine: --very strong.

 Toad House (5:42)

Hank: I'm sorry. Two.  Go go go go go push a two.  And you just push a two and then you go into the little house.

Katherine: I'm just wondering i-- do you want a big present or the little present?

Hank: Welcome to a toaaad house.  

Katherine: A toad house.

Hank: A toaaaad house.  

Katherine: Boy, I feel like I should pick the little box.  

Hank: Yeah, it's the less obvious one.

Katherine: Alright.  

Hank: We'll do it on three?

Katherine: Sure.

Hank: One, two, three.

Katherine: Oh, well.

Hank: What was in the other one?  

Katherine: I don't know.

Hank: Well, I got a thousand points, that's all I--owww!  

Katherine: Meow!  Meow!

Hank: Sibling rivalry.  

Katherine: It's hard to uh--

Hank: Ooh, I just bounced off Toad's head.  Boink! (6:20) Okay, let's move on, let's do this one.

Katherine: Yes.  Switch Scramble Circus.  It looks so sparkly.

 Switch Scramble Circus (6:25)

Hank: Switch Scramble Circl--nope, nope, nope.

Katherine: Sparkly, sparkly circus.  

Hank: Oh, wow, it is sparkly.  

Katherine: What happened?

Hank: I don't know.  I guess we want them all to be exclamation points.  Hey there, ho there, go into that Ace of Spades!  Wheeeeee!  'scuse me, pardon me, bees!

Katherine: I forgot how to do it.  B.  

Hank: It's the trigger.

Katherine: B.

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: I fell off the edge.

Hank: You fell off the--that's my fault, I'm gonna--oh, I forgot, I also forgot that you can attack.

Katherine: I would like to come out now please.

Hank: Aand now!  Yeah, I got you a kitty bell!

Katherine: Hooray.  I like to be a kitty.  Okay, that's gonna make things hard for me...

Hank: No, it's not, you've got a kitty.  Oh gosh.  And, hiyah!  Oh, so many bees.  So many bees!  So many bees!  So many bees, so many bees, so many bees, so many bees, so many bees!  I killed them all.  I killed all the bees.  Oh, I went into the thing, Katherine.  Oh, come on.

Katherine: Whatever, you killed all those bees.

Hank: I killed a lot of bees.  Um-- I'm-- But it was risky-- it was ri-- this is beautiful.  This game is so pretty.  

Katherine: It is really nice.

Hank: I think that those things are impossible to kill and the only way to do it is by getting all the exclamation points.  Aw, shoot.  No, I was wrong.  They are easy to kill.  You just-- 

Katherine: You do have to get all the exclamation points to make the thing open, though.  

Hank: Oh.  It's okay.  You can do it.  That one and then that one and then do tha--aw.  

Katherine: I missed.  

Hank: Oh!  Cute kitty.  Hooray.  Heart, suck me up, heart.  

Katherine: WHOAAAA.

Hank: Yeah.  That was a little scary.  I agree.  Oh, you made me bounce.  Oh, you made me double bounce.  Oh, oh, oh, you go down, I'll go up.  

Katherine: Ugh, I missed it.  

Hank: Ooh! 

Katherine: Oh.

Hank: What'd we get?  Fire flower, that's it?  

Katherine: Yep.

Hank: Whaaat?

Katherine: I don't know.

Hank: That's not very good.  

Katherine: It's weird.  It's not bad.

Hank: Oh, it's going to this thing again.  It's what you always gotta d-- Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and get this.  Alrigh--what, what else did we get?  Another fire flower.  Ooh, I found a star.  

Katherine: Aw, man.

Hank: Didn't get it though.  Yes, I did.  I thought I was you again, so I shot wrongly.   What are you doing, mister?  Aw.  I got it!  Okay, yay!  What's that one called, the club?  The club.  

Katherine: Club?

Hank: A club!  The suit.  A club of, you know, the three of clubs.  A club.

Katherine: Oh, hahaha, okay.  Yes.  That one is called the club.  

Hank: Not "da club."  Uh, ooh, aww, da

Katherine: No.  

Hank: Oh, no, it was right.

Katherine: Oh, no, I can't get up there?  It's not right?

Hank: I dunno.  I dunno, maybe if I do this?  Yeah, there it is for you.  Don't-- why did you go without me?  

Katherine: Get the stamp. Get that stamp.

Hank: *roars*  You went without me!

Katherine: I did. I did.

Hank: That's the sort of thing a Hufflepuff would probably never do.

Katherine: Next time, I won't.

Hank: Next time?

Katherine: Go without you.

Hank: Okay. Cuz you got what you wanted, right?  Your crown?

Katherine: Yeah.

Hank: Okay.

 Outro (10:30)

Hank: Thank you for watching this episode of Games with Hank.  I'm Hank, Katherine has also been Hank, the game has been Super Mario 3D World, you--

Katherine: That's what it's called.

Hank: --are nice for watching, thanks for doing that, and I hope it was enjoyable.  Farts.  DFTBA.