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Duration:04:01
Uploaded:2008-06-04
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In which John introduces 10 of the people considered favorites to run as Barack Obama's Vice President in the 2008 American Presidential election.


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A Bunny
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John: Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday, June fourth, the day after Barack Obama secured the nomination for the Democratic Party for President. But there is a burning question...with whom shall he run? God I've got good grammar.

(Intro)

Hank this is my favorite time of every the four years, these heady weeks in between when we have a nominee and when we have a running mate. Because right now anybody could be our next Vice President. I mean except for the 54% of the American population who is under the age of 35. And anyone who is more than one of the following: non-white, non-christian, non-male or indited for a felony. It's like basically the pool of candidates is like the 20% of Americans who are either old white guys or old white women and Condoleezza Rice.

But Hank we are not here to talk about Republicans. Instead I would like to introduce you to ten of the most likely running mates for Barack Obama in 2008.

Number one, the Junior Senator from New York, Hilary Clinton. The upside; 18 million people have voted for her this year and she is hugely popular with the kind of voters that Barack Obama has had trouble wining over. And she has the highest favorability ratings among any potential VP candidate. But, she also has the highest unfavorability ratings. Also, to be frank, she and Obama have less chemistry than Diane Keaton (meant to be Diane Lane) and John Cusack in Must Love Dogs.

Number two: Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer. Schweitzer is funny and personable and he has the kind of down home thing that plays so well in Appalachia, plus he's a really popular governor in a red state. But, he wears a lot of bolo ties and I've got to say I am not sure the American people are ready to be one heart beat away from bolo tie presidency.

Number three: Delaware Senator, Joe Biden. Upside; he has the best grasp of foreign policy in the Senate, plus he knows the difference between Sunnis and Shias) which is more than can be said for certain Republican nominees. But, there is just Joe Bideny about him. You know you just look at him and just think like "Oh man...you're so Joe Bideny".

Number four: Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd. The upside, I have absolutely no idea. I mean everyone says that this guy is a first tier Vice Presidential candidate but I don't get it. I mean yes, he used to date Princess Leia and that's hot but that was 20 years ago. Now he is married to some woman who wasn't in any of the Star Wars movies. I don't understand why we would vote for this guy.

Number five: Kansas Governor Kathleen Sibelius. Upside; she is a brilliant red state governor and she knows how to get things done in a bi-partisan way. But it's not clear how good she is at campaigning. Also an Obama/Sibelius ticket just doesn't trip off the tongue. I mean Obama might as well pick as his running mate the girl who sells seashells by the seashore.

Six: Virginia Governor Tim Kaine. The upside; he could help turn Virginia blue in '08, plus he's a super religious Catholic and Obama has had trouble attracting Catholics so that could work out nicely. But, I find him kind of boring. Also he kind of has the Jack Nicholson playing the Joker eyebrows thing happening.

Number seven: Seven Fingered, Junior Senator from Montana John Tester. The upside; he only has seven fingers because of a farming accident. That kind of thing plays fantastic in Appalachia. Plus he is funny as hell and has got the same $6 flat-top haircut at the same place in Montana his whole life. I've always said, "The worse the haircut, the better the man." But...he has almost no political experience. But who cares? You can buy political experience. You can't buy seven fingers.

Number eight: the Junior Senator from Virginia, Jim Web. Former Republican, former Secretary of the Navy, big Military guy plus he writes novels and they're actually really good. But...he has a reputation for misogyny and all ten fingers.

Number nine: Republican Senator from Nebraska Chuck Hagel. He is a moderate Republican, opposed to the war, a man of his convictions. Plus he's a Vietnam Veteran and he's from the west and he's super Catholic. Chuck Hagel you are a political demographer's wet dream. But you are also opposed to stem-cell research which isn't going to fly with a lot of Democrats.

And finally Number 10: New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. A popular governor in a state Obama needs to win plus he speaks Spanish. But the media is always saying, "It is not clear whether or not he has been thoroughly vetted". Which in this case is code for, "everybody knows he cheats on his wife".

So Hank that is a brief introduction of some of the people we could be seeing a lot of in the next few months. Hey nerdfighters, let us and potentially Barack if he happens to be reading the comments on our YouTube channel, know who you think should be Vice President. And Hank, I believe I'll see you tomorrow.