On January 2, 2019, I boarded this snow-covered housecar, put the Sexplanaut key in the ignition and started an epic five month sexpedition.  The goals were to meet up with people who have made Sexplanations what it is in the first place, reach people who still weren't connected to sex ed resources to teach and to learn from others, so with the unbelievably generous help from a planning team, my partner who you may see in a few photos, and people all over the world using the power of the internet and local wisdom, we did it!

Ohh, it's emotional to think back to.  I will forget things, some events I didn't record, not everyone who was there was on camera, but this is my best attempt with a maudlin heart.  At first, we did a lot of driving and acclimating to van life. This is me eating cereal out of a bag.  We met up with friends and colleagues who built us up to keep going.  Love, love, love!  There were a few official stops in Washington, Oregon, and California where we met up with Sexplanauts or did speaking engagements, but at the beginning, we were mostly setting up the office, so to speak, for the project to continue successfully. 

On the west coast, Amp from Watts the Safeword gave us a tour of Mr. S Leather, showed us how their products are made and filmed videos with me on why people are scared of sex and daddies.

Amp: Because our bodies are confusing sometimes and like we were saying, like, if someone's on their period or if someone has like, an ejaculation or wet dream, like, that can be traumatizing.

Lindsey: Dixie de la Tour of Body Storytelling met us at a garden store to record a podcast in the RV and so did Dr. Jallen Rix.  Further south, I found some happy domesticated ostriches and emus, but the leader fretted at Huntington Beach that there weren't any mollusks or seagulls.  

The hardest part of the tour, moreso than doing three shows in a day or navigating busy cities with a wide vehicle, was observing the environmental changes.  There was so much less wildlife than when I was a kiddo and what we did see, didn't look so good.   I love nature!

In Tijuana, Mexico, we met up with Lauren Marie Fleming.  You may remember from an earlier Sexplanations on body image.  

Then we drove together to friends in Tijuana I met at past speaking engagement.  We explored the city, ate, karaoked, then walked back across the border to continue in the RV to nature.  Like beautiful (?~2:14) where we spent the night in solitude.  I broadcasted a livestream from its moonscape and my chair blew away.  To Sheri's Ranch in Nevada to record a video!  The brothel was my partner's first time professionally filming and it was a hard launch.  It was noisy, the lighting wasn't consistent, there were people around who couldn't be in the shot and negotiating with Sky Max as if I was actually a client wasn't possible because of laws governing sex work.  It still turned out great though, so we treated ourselves to Vegas, hung out with my friend Princess, and saw Absinthe at Caesar's Palace.  Someone working there recognized me and gave me a heartwarming hello after the show so that was wonderful.

The next day, we did another podcast recording with Science Mom and another video at the Erotic Heritage Museum, and more self-care and more driving, more working.  By this time, we were a month in, worn out, and homesick.  Was it best to commit to two more weeks of a prescheduled leg of Europe?  Yes?  

We got ourselves together and went across the ocean.  February 4th, we flew to Dublin where we recorded a video at the Intimacy exhibit, ate, met up with my brother and his family, and toured Ireland.  Pretty, pretty Ireland, for a week!  Then we flew to London for a talk at The University of South Hampton, VidCon, visits with more friends, some more tourism, Harry Potter tourism, and a collab video with Thomas TomSka Ridgewell where he tries to guess the meanings of various sex acts.  

TomSka: Is this what people would call scissoring?

Lindsey: Yes!

Europe montage!

My partner did a quick layover in Iceland and I flew back to the US for three talks at the University of North Carolina in Charlotte, where I also got to meet Charlie.  

Then back to Missoula, where I was sick for two weeks.  Here's some knowledge for you.  I had a cold which meant blowing and wiping my nose frequently, which irritated by skin, which instigated a herpes outbreak, but I still managed two episodes and a sketch of the RV wrap design.  

Back on the road, this time no fear of the unknown and a better plan that I'd made with my mom and her partner Jack while in North and South Carolina.  Heads up, it went fast.  

People: Idaho Falls!

Lindsey: Which I livestreamed afterward. 

People: Salt Lake City!

Lindsey: We spent the following day working at Lake Utah, because I still have a full-time job, then went during our downtime to Sunset Crater, Walnut Canyon, and Bryce Canyon National Park.  (?~4:40) was definitely one of my favorite stops.  My brother works and lives there, so lots of the people who showed up weren't fans of Sexplanations.  They were friends of his.  I drew them a vulva and explained smegma.  Then we played VR and I woke up the next day to watch some of the artists pour melted bronze into molds that would cool and become bells.  Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

Next up was a day with my grandparents who were also on a tour of Arizona.  First stop, Dick's Hideaway, which I affectionately called Foreskin.  We saw this art and this art and this art and these fish.  What!  That evening, I spoke in a staging room of a theater in--

People: Phoenix!

Lindsey: And later went to Airness, a very inclusive play.  March 21st was Tucson, authentically pronounced-

People: Tucson!

Lindsey: We met in a church and had amazing discussions and then I met the trip's youngest attendee.  Nine years old.  March 22nd, Las Cruces.

People: New Mexico!

Lindsey: I met up with a couple of fans, one who had a very touching letter for me.  He'd driven almost four hours to get to us, and the barista knew who I was and joined us for a photo.  March 23rd, El Paso, Texas.  Most of the events were posted on Twitter and on the website.  Occasionally, I was able to create a page for them on Facebook, too.  A man in El Paso was looking up things to do with his new girlfriend, found me, and showed up to this cute little coffeeshop for a show.  A date!  They ended up getting a private session.

March 25th and 26th--

People: San Antonio!

Lindsey: March 27th and 28th, Southwestern University in Georgetown, Texas, with time for a KLBJ 93.7 radio interview and an evening to watch the Mexican freetailed bats in Austin.  

March 29th, Amber Bushnell finished the graphic design on the RV so we dropped it off at Creative Wraps and Designs in Houston for it to become the inspiring leader we needed.  I spoke at a library--

People: Houston!

Lindsey: Then cancelled a show for the first and only time to attend a political rally with my 7th grade boyfriend.  I cheered so loudly when the speaker addressed reproductive rights and minority equality and the planet.  We got the RV back from the shop, my friend and his wife posed with their sperm, and we headed to Rice University April 1st with a brand new wrap.  

The parking attendant wasn't so sure about us, but let us in to meet up with the students anyway.  I was on one side of the vehicle talking to folks and I could hear my partner on the other side talking to someone else.  The voice of interrogation.  I went over to investigate before the person could object, I blurted out, "Hi!  Do you like it?"  I think his Southern hospitality and conservative values were in conflict, because he stalled then simply said, "Why do you have it?"  I pointed to the prostate and said, "1 in 9 people with a prostate will be diagnosed with prostate cancer."  I want people to know about their bodies and how to care for them.  He was appeased and walked off.

This was the tour I had wanted all along.  The wrap was our way to reach people who didn't know about the channel, to educate for every mile we drove, to educate while we weren't even driving.  From Texas, we drove to Louisiana, (?~7:36) to visit my friend Virginia.  She took us kayaking in the bayou and out for fried pickles.  We stayed with her for a few days and filmed an episode for her channel about aquatic species reproduction.

People: New Orleans!

Lindsey: I did four back-to-back meetups.  We tried to film a Sexplanations episode.  

(?~7:53): Okay.  You're on.

Lindsey: But rain.  In Biloxi, Mississippi, I met up with these two folks at the mall, reviewed sex ed there, and saw the world's largest puzzle.  

Mobile, Alabama.  We decided to stay an RV park and do laundry.  As we're pulling in to our assigned spot, a man in the spot right next to ours shook his head shamingly.  Mrrrmmm.  Ughhh.  Mrmmm.  This didn't feel good of course.  Putting a wrap on the RV took so long in the first place because we were concered that people would harm the RV and/or us.  We'd finally gone through with it and here we were, living next to the opposition and our fear.  Forget being scared!  My partner and I talked it out and we decided that we were glad.  Our neighbor probably needed the information and he'd have all evening to read it.

Pensacola entailed a boardwalk along the beach.  "The mind dismembered by sexual parts never finds rest."  Sexplanauts took us out for pizza and then put us up in their nice, safe yard.  

Back to Alabama!  We met up folks at the Peace and Justice Memorial in Montgomery.  It was an odd choice to put the brightly colored RV along side memories of those who had been enslaved and tortured, but we reconciled that sex education is also about peace and justice and felt very welcomed by the staff and visitors.  There were people from all over the country to came to ask questions, take pictures, and encourage our mission.

Later I spoke at Auburn University, then drove to Macon, Georgia to meet up with L. Copeland who helped oversee the road tour website.  All these pretty graphics!  

April 9.  We went to the Puppetry Museum in Atlanta, where we were asked to park our RV in the back lot, out of sight of the children and families.  It's not very family friendly.  Then we were asked what we were doing there.  My partner just wanted to see Kermit!
  
We checked out the Botanical Gardens, did a meetup at the CDC, and a meet-up for Thai and ice cream. 

April 10th, back to Alabama.  Small town (?~9:38).  I was entertained by a police officer scoping out the RV while we ate lunch.  Later that evening, we did a talk at a library in--

People: Huntsville!

Lindsey: Next up.

People: (?~9:47)

Lindsey: Where I did a talk at the University, a video on condoms from a hotel room, and had a few days off to play.  One of our raft guides on the (?~9:54) River gave me a book he wrote.  I'm gonna share a line.  "I took my eyes from her then them move down to her full lips then down around the curve of her chin along valleys and rises of her neck, past her collarbones, to her chest.

I reached up with my right hand and unbuttoned the first button of her blouse."  Owww.  

Nashville, Nashville, Nashville, Knoxville, University of Tennessee in Knoxville does sex ed really well, so I was excited to partner with them again and teach Butt Stuff 3.0, the holey reckoning.  That and make a video.  

People: Asheville!

Lindsey: There were so many incredible people working on improving sexuality in their own communities and I got this coloring book.  While I color, I'll tell you about my next visit in South Carolina.  This is where my mother and her partner Jack live.  They helped us immeasurably to schedule stops.  I'd let them know our approximate path and then they'd call or email ahead to cafes, libraries, sex shops, and schools.  They helped coordinate with those of you who had contacted us and they did their best to get something in place and on the calendar.  

I will do a separate episode on the rejection of sex education, but for now, I just want to thank everyone who tried in any way to keep our project going.  

People: North Carolina!

Lindsey: We toured Adam & Eve's headquarters, wandered Duke's Botanical Gardens, saw this adorable couple take in the whole wrap, and then ate dinner with fans in Chapel Hill.  These three produce a sex ed YouTube channel called the Vagilantes.  I recommend checking out.

People: Hampton Roads!

Lindsey: Ocean, still no wildlife, but ocean!  

People: Richmond!  

Lindsey: We set up at a library.  Some of the staff came and I was a bit nervous about offending them, but I proceeded.  One of them approached me after the talk where I'd shown sex toys and constructing dental dams.  She told me that her sex education growing up was also comprehensive, yay, and that she appreciated what we were doing.

Then we drove to friends for the night and an early breakfast.  April 25th, into Washington D.C. to sightsee and meet up with more friends.  I did the most terrifying drive of my life across the Arlington Memorial Bridge which was under construction, then picked up this gem who helped navigate me back to where we were staying.

We were less than a month from our end date.  We did a full day of socializing.  Ethan and I talked about starting a school.  Peter in Kenton helped me develop an AI sex toy at the dog park.  These lovelies in-

People: Baltimore!

Lindsey: Re-energized me for the rest of the Sexplanations road tour, and then nice sir here met us in Wilmington, Delaware with gifts.  Through New Jersey, we went to--

People: Philadelphia!

Lindsey: Where I spoke at the Sexploritorium, tried to get a dog adopted at Doggie Style, and did some work while my partner studied our country's history.  We walked Valley Forge wondering how or if soldiers went without sex and masturbation, admired the joys of flying objects, and saw Avengers: Endgame.  

We skipped New York City for (?~12:42) Hyde Park for enlightening Norwegian fare instead and explored so much.  Did you know that Devil's Head seed pods are a real thing?  They're produced by a tree.  

Back to teaching at Vassar and--

People: (?~12:52)

Lindsey: It was so much fun drawing a big vulva on their chalkboards and answering their wicked smart questions.  Details aren't clear, but I think then we did three states in one day: Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts.  In Boston, Massachusetts, we met up with Kit of The Effing Foundation who had partnered with us on this whole big Sexplanations road tour service project.  We went to three shows at the Women in Comedy festival, including comics from Missoula, Montana.

Charlie: My name is Charlie McCorn and I'm from Montana.  Whoa, shit, surprise.

Lindsey: We made you a video about improvements to sexuality in my lifetime, #NowNotThen, did a talk at MIT--

People: Boston!

Lindsey: And a radio interview with a student named Gabriella.  In addition to dozens of other adventures.  If you're feeling exhausted by this, the journey is being communicated accurately.  Well, part of it.  While we were working full-time and volunteering for the tour, connecting with as many of you as we could, there were times when we got to play my new favorite game, hang out in the RV and listen to people outside.  Back in Alabama, for example, three older women walked over and started reading the statistics out loud to their friends.  

"Unbelievable!  I didn't know this.  Do you see what this says?"  One commented.  I bet they're having sex in their right now.  Love it!  It's worth every moment.  All the energy, all the effort.

Nashua Community College was an impressively organized stop in--

People: New Hampshire!

Lindsey: We met these folks in--

People: Maine!  

Lindsey: Saw boats, more boats, we saw the ocean, flew a kite, went to an eclectic store, and finally, finished a video on what isn't sex ed, which we had tried to film three other times.  

Vermont was the 32nd state on our route.  I ate fiddleheads there for the first time, had a fun game night with friends, and then continued the following day to Montreal, Canada.  We parked the RV in a 24 hour lot and walked around for the day.  There were hundreds of stairs up to a lookout point, which we did climb.  We admired sculptures, then we returned to the RV for the most serendipitous thing.  

The plan was to do a quick hello with someone I'd been corresponding with through Twitter, then leave town.  She came to say hi, awesome person, we were chatting again, we're about to leave, and this wonderful fellow comes jogging across the lot.  We hadn't announced a Montreal stop because we weren't able to secure a location, so he thought he was going to miss us, but then, he was on the bus, going down the road to his friends for the Game of Thrones finale, and saw out of the corner of his eye a wrap, the glimpse of the RV's Sexplanations wrap!  Got off immediately, and there he was, giving hugs and adding to the magic of Sexplanations.

Home stretch!  

People: Toronto! 

Lindsey: Toronto was a very intimate talk followed by a Caribbean dinner.  Niagara Falls was stunning, silly, and romantic before two joyful talks in--

People: Buffalo!

Lindsey: And SUNY and a tour of Frank Lloyd Wright's Martin House Complex.  Then, tour climax, my high school in Hudson, Ohio hosted me for an extraordinary night of sex educating teenagers.  Yes, people can have more than orgasm.  No, you do not urinate out of the vagina.  Yes, you can get pregnant from anal, and no, it is not respectful to have sex in your dorm room just because it's permissible by state law to be sexually active.  

We hiked with my grandmother and then with my parents and then a fan of Sexplanations who wasn't able to meet up with us the follow day.  At the church I grew up in--

People: Ohio!

Lindsey: My grandparents had arranged for us to speak at their church.  We did a quick stop in the Dearborn/Detroit area of--

People: Michigan!

Lindsey: Then on to Chicago to see my aunt.  

People: Madison!

Lindsey: To check out another amazing sex store and have a special stay sponsored by (?~16:28).  A visit in Rochester, Minnesota, St. Paul for time with Ash and Grayson, outstanding LGBT+ YouTubers, then one more hello in North Dakota before racing back to Missoula by May 23rd.  

113 days of service.  More than 16,000 road miles.  Stacks of receipts.  250+ postcards and packages sent.  There were a total of over 60 stops, talks, and meetups across 39 states and five countries.  It was a huge undertaking by a lot of people doing their best.  It wasn't flawless, but it was successful.  It was amazing.  Unbelievable!  

Thank you to the hundreds of people who made this possible, made us meals, put us up, took us out, showed us around, financially backed us so that we weren't stressed about at least money.  Those of you who fulfilled our wishlist, house-sat and dog-sat, made care packages, tried to coordinate our stop.  Thank you to everyone who shared their stories, which definitely motivated us to keep going, and to everyone who showed up and asked questions.  

If your photo isn't here or your contribution not called out directly, that doesn't mean you weren't a valid and precious part of what happened.  Everyone in the last five months touched our lives and we value you.  Stay curious.  You can go to sexplanations.com to learn more and patreon.com/sexedroadtour to help with the cost.

(Endscreen)