Good morning Hank, it's Thursday, October 4th, and today's video comes in 4 parts.

Part 1: Stuff on your heads. Hank, I'm totally in favor of the stuff on your heads idea. In fact, it seems to be that this is one of the last great areas for human exploration.

I mean Hank, there's so many things that can go on a person's head and yet so few of them have actually been recorded being on someone's head, and that seems to me a grave injustice.

Part 2: The Happy Dance project. Hank, after your great song yesterday, you said that you wanted me to talk about the Happy Dance Project today, but I don't really have that much to say about the Happy Dance Project.

I mean I'll tell you one thing: We got a lot of happy dances. Incidentally, if any Nerdfighters wanna send us a happy dance video late, they're welcome to do so, although we can no longer 100% guarantee that it will be part of the happy dance project, but we'd like to see it nonetheless. Hank, having watched a lot of happy dance videos now, I can make one observation about happy dances, which is this: they tend to be either arm-centric or leg-centric.

Like your happy dance is definitely arm-centric. It's like (demonstrates Hank's happy dance) or whatever. And then my happy dance is very leg-centric.It's all about like kicking my knees up.

I've noticed that not very many Nerdfighters have torso-centric happy dances, and I think that might be related to our general inability to, you know, bust a move. Anyway Hank, I don't want to build up expectations too much, but when it finally does happen, the Happy Dance Project is gonna be pretty nerdtastic.

Part 3: Raccoons. Hank, it's no secret how I feel about outside. My relationship with outside is like a healthy relationship with an ex-girlfriend.

I want the best for outside. When good things happen to outside, I'm happy. And when outside suffers some misfortune, I feel sorry for outside.

I even enjoy spending time with outside on occasion, but I do think that there need to be boundaries. And one of those boundaries, Hank, is that OUTSIDE IS NOT ALLOWED INSIDE MY HOME. Which is why I'm very unhappy to tell you that I think that there are raccoons in my attic.

And when I say, "I think", I mean, "I know, but am not yet willing to admit." Anyway Hank, I've been in touch with some professionals on this issue, and I will keep you up to date on the Great Raccoon Hunt of 2007. Part 4: Feuds. Hank, I'd like to suggest some topics about which we could potentially feud.

Here are some topics and my opinions on them:

Dragons or fairies? Dragons.

Love or money?Love.
I mean, like you're gonna pick money. Actually, you might pick money.God you love money.

Pirates or ninjas? Ninjas.
Hank, I know that everyone in comments was like, "Pirates pwn!" but seriously? Pirates? Pirates haven't been cool since Goonies.I mean is one of the best online series in history called "Ask A Pirate"?

Green apples or red apples? Actually on that one, I'm for Fiona Apples.

Anybody? Puns? Puns?No? No puns? Ok.

Lakes or rivers? Rivers.
And honestly, I don't even wanna be your brother anymore if you're not for rivers. I mean, who's against rivers? It's like being against puppies.

Speaking of which, puppies or kittens?
Puppies, although I have nothing against kittens, they're adorable.

Mary Kate vs. Ashley?
Ummm, the one that doesn't have a cocaine problem, I guess?

Books vs. movies? Books.

Text vs. video? Text.

Unicorns vs. zombies?
Zombies, although I'm profoundly troubled by both.

Hank, if none of those feud topics work, perhaps you could suggest some more. I'm off to New York for the weekend, Go Cubs, I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh, and Hank? Don't forget to be awesome.