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Dr. Doe: Can I answer your sex questions?

-- Intro Cut Scene --

Q1. What do you do with the condom after it's been filled with semen?

A1. Tie it in a knot, and toss it in the trash.

Q2. You don't wrap it up in toilet paper?

A2. I tend not to. It's an extra step, and a waste of tissues, and recently I realized that leaving it out, all visible-like, is really sex positive. Anyone who uses the trash gets to see evidence of safer sex.

Q3. How to you "get tested?" Do you have to ask for specific tests, or can you get a sort of all-purpose test at the doctor's office?

A3. You have to ask. I've found that different places and people working in those different places, make different decisions when answering the request "Can you test me for STIs?" Some of them will test you for what's prevalent in your region, others will discourage you from getting tested at all, and even if you ask to get tested for everything, you will most likely not be tested for everything. So it's important to find out what getting tested does and doesn't entail, and tell them what you want. My suggestion is: chlamydia, gonorrhea, maybe syphilis (depending on risk factors) then HIV and herpes.  Know your status.

Q4. Is having your upper and lower body shake and convulse during orgasm normal?

A4. Yes. I've found that I convulse more when I'm being quiet, so if I "AHHHH" my orgasm from my mouth, I'm less likely to be spasming it out of everywhere else.

Q5. Did you know that attraction to giants is called Macrophilia?

A5. I do now! It's a paraphilia that's really difficult to realize. But in fantasy manifests as sexual or romantic interactions with giant people. It can also entail shrinking down really small so that other "normal-sized" people seem really large! Check out these Tumblr hashtags if you want to learn more about macrophilia! (G/t, gt, gts, giantess, F/m, macrophilia, microphilia)

Q6. Advice for a couple who are just starting to have sex who are, let's say, having trouble with logistics?

A6. Height difference logistics? Humping logistics? Putting on a condom logistics? Slow down. And talk to your friends separately and together about how they've worked through logistics.

Q7. Why is "surprise anal" on your girlfriend not funny?

A7. Because if you haven't negotiated anal penetration, and your girlfriend doesn't get to consent, then it's rape.

Q8. What does "fluid bonded" mean?

A8. One another's sexual body fluids have come in contact with one another's sexual mucus membranes. An agreement to have unprotected sex.

Q9. What are some ways to increase the likelihood of orgasm without using a vibrating toy during penetrative intercourse?

A9. Heavy breathing, fantasy, want/will/won't list. Here: I made you an orgasm playlist!

Q10. How can people navigate sex while experiencing mental illness?

A10. Keep a journal of the changes and patterns. Write down your fears and your needs. Recently I've started to journal to navigate writing a book. It's nice to have a place to put my thoughts, and feelings and strategies for getting help!

Q11. What advice would you have for people who feel extreme guilt and disgust of themselves because of their kinks/fetishes?

A11. Find your people! On Tumblr, Facebook, FetLife, and talk to them.

Q12. How can people make themselves comfortable with the idea and eventual act of sex?

A12. Attraction rather than promotion. Instead of promoting sex, like something you should want or should have, think about ways to make sex more attractive and alluring to you. If, ultimately, you're just not into it, nothing is drawing you in - Aven. Asexuality.org for most of your "I'm not comfortable with sex" needs.

Q13. How do I get around overly sensitive genitals?

A13.  Go around sensitive genitals. Like touching the hood rather than the glans, or touching the thighs rather than the genitals. Dams and condoms can be helpful too because they diffuse sensations.

Q14. So menstrual cycles are typically 28 days apart, is that 28 days from when the last one began or from its ending?

A14. Menstrual cycles start on the first day of bleeding, and they start again on the first day of bleeding.

Q15. Can you get pregnant without penetration?

A15. Yes! Sperm have been known to swim from a puddle on or near the vulva to the egg in the Fallopian tube. And there's also in-vitro fertilization - another pregnant without penetration method.

Q16. I'm a high school student interested in a career in sexology. What's my next move after high school?

A16. Volunteer! And here's a Sexology playlist.

Q17. Does "public questions, public answers" mean that you only answer questions publicly?

A17. No, but it means that I have the option to. I think a lot of people feel ashamed to ask sexual questions and I don't perpetuate that shame by responding secretively. Plus, answering privately means that other people don't get to learn from your questions and my answers.

Q18. Do you do the Twitters?

A18. Yes, @elleteedee. I'm also on the Tumblrs, Facebooks, Snapchats and Instagrams.

Stay Curious!

Ok, questions for all of us! Please share your answers in the comments and social media.

1. How do you ask a partner to get tested, and how do you verify if they're clear?

2. Who are the healthiest sexual role models in fiction that you've ever seen?