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Duration:11:39
Uploaded:2011-04-18
Last sync:2018-05-03 15:00
In which Aperture Science attempts to bake Hank...there is no cake...it was a lie.

Please excuse my complete idiocy on the last chamber...I was tired...also I am an idiot.
Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. Last time I was working on a very difficult chamber, and now I'm working on it again.

(0:07) I have to get, and it's like slingshotty shooty, slingshotty shooty, um, so I have that, and then I have to jump down here, and make a blue one. That was close. I don't know why I keep doing that, I keep making it so that it's harder than it needs to be. Oh God, that makes me so nauseous when that happens. 

(0:37) Oh, no, no no no no noooo! Why do I keep using the wrong button? Every time I do the wrong button. Oh God, well, if I had done it on the first try, that wouldn't have been entertaining, would it? So, orange. Blue. Orange, wait! Oh, ah, doh, God dammit! Okay, stop it! Stop stop stop stop. Jump in the water. End death, death end death death end, I'm pushing the button so restart please!

(1:19) Okay, okay, I am not a retard! I do not, I am not embarrassing myself at all. I did it again. Okay. Where am I? There it is. I have to go through and spin around. This one is - I need the blue. I need - where is it? Where is it? There it is. Missed it. Still need the blue. Show me where it is. Where are you at? Where are you at? What? What? I thought I needed the blue. Ah, I did not need the blue, I did not need the blue. 

(2:06) Ah, darn it. Okay. Get over there, you can do it. Alright. Woah, where am I going? (laughing) It doesn't work if you don't do it all the way from the beginning. So two minutes and thirty seconds spent failing. There will eventually be success though. That is how life works, you fail and then you succeed eventually. So that was blue, this is orange, this is blue, nope. I don't know. I don't understand. Is it always orange, do I always need to use orange? Nope. Oh man.

(2:58) I think I need to use blue, but it's hard to be sure. Yes, I did need to use blue and oh my God oh my God, well done, be advised - yes! Yes! Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes! Yesyesyesyessss! Oh God, that was hard.

(3:27) (GLaDOS: ...For more information please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.) I will be sure to do that. Oh. Now sterilize my spermatozoa once again. Through the particle beam. Alright. Woof. That was hard, but totally worth it. One hundred percent awesomely worth it. What are we doing? What are we doing GLaDOS? Where are we going? What's up? GLaDOS? We're still loading. What's going on? Did it break? Hello? Portal? I would like to continue playing Portal if at all possible. Because, you know, why would you want to stop?

(4:11) Test chamber. (GLaDOS: Welcome to the final test) Final test? (GLaDOS: When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex) I'd prefer not to. Oh, GLaDOS, not a satisfying - not sure what we're doing, to be totally honest. Uhhh where - what's going on? 

(4:41) Woah, woah, accident. That was an accident. Okay, there is definitely a button to push here. I pushed it. That opened that thing. But only very temporarily. Ahhhh. Okay, whatever I'm doing right now, it seems to be not precisely necessary yet. Woah! Got a little extra boos there, for some reason.

(5:26) So that's where I just was. Uhhhh, that doesn't seem to get me anywhere though. Oh, duh. Nope, that's not what I wanted, but. Okay, that's not actually doing anything. So what do I need to do here? That's weird. Okay, okay Hank, puzzle it out. This comes down, goes across. Okay, let's just stop for a second. 

(6:00) That thing, just goes across forever, to be like death ball, that's just a death ball. This, goes across, and here's the only place where I can make it go. So I can put a portal there, and I'm going to kill myself, totally going to kill myself. Put a portal there, and then put a portal here - nope, that doesn't do any good. That does not do any good at all.

(6:34) Put a portal there and put a portal there? And then that makes that do that. I don't understand. Aaaaaah! I died! Somebody out there is thinking to themselves "how stupid is he that he can't see this?" but I - I am tired. And confused.

(7:05) It needs to bounce off there - it can't bounce off there. So if it goes boomp joonk, it needs to come out there, and it needs to come and hit here, but it can't, because this is one of the portal-free walls. Somebody help me, I'm confused! What is that thing? That looks totally scary. Um. So, and this, so you go woop woop woop woop. 

(7:56) Oh. Ah! Oh God! No! I'm stupid. But I figured it out though. Yeah, I'm smart! See how smart I am? Thing's moving. It's on its way. Thing is moving. Okay. Oh yeah!

(8:32) I already had this part figured out. Blue blue blue blue! Good! I did it, I trapped it somewhere else. Go away! Camera shy. Don't know where I'm going now - I am not prepared. Oh man. 

(9:03) Ah. Ah. Cake? Cake! I get cake! I have to be. I have to be baked. This is what - this is the baking. This is what you referred to as the baking. Um, oh, oh, it's - it looks really hot in there! Okay, that was me dying. I died. I wasn't sure - oh up there, that's where I needed to go. Up there - I didn't see up there.

(10:00) Oh, shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot, okay. Get up there! Yes. Quick, no! Oh, you are safe! Yeah! I can figure that out! (GLaDOS: We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.) Uh, huh? (GLaDOS: We are very, very happy for your success.) I'm sure you are. (GLaDOS: We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success) There's going to be cake isn't there? There's no one here GLaDOS, everyone's dead!

(11:01) Should there be? Should I? Should there be a - okay. I guess I should be figuring something out right now. I should. I should. I should be doing that, and doing other things, but I'm just going to end this episode of Hank plays Portal right here because it's been eleven minutes, and that's how long they are. So thank you for watching Hank plays Portal. You will not see me and I will not see you next time, uh, when I play Portal again. Goodbye.