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Uploaded:2009-03-18
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Good morning John, it's Wednesday. [indecipherable noises]. I have to admit this although everyone on Facebook already knows. Yesterday I created a fan page for Dr. Manhattan's dong, and I became a fan of it. You should become a fan of lower Manhattan too. Dr. Manhattan's dong is blue and six feet long. And it lights up the night/ it's a terrible fright when Laurie Jupiter wears her thong.

[music]

Today I wanna talk about brain crack.

Dr. Manhattan's dong is a good example of brain crack. You have an idea, you get it out as fast as possible because otherwise your brain becomes addicted to the idea of ideas. And you think, "oh my idea's so important that I have to keep it in here until I can execute it perfectly."

This is one of the fundamental gifts that I believe Ze Frank has given to the world. There is a link in the sizidebar to Ze Frank's brain crack video in which you can discover how much better he always was than we are. Ugh, he's so good.

And while I was able to get Dr. Manhattan's dong's fan page up and out of my head as fast as possible, that has not been the case with all my ideas. And it's pretty frustrating to recognize that I am indeed addicted to brain crack. And what do I do about it, I can't do anything about it!? And while it is possible that my belief that I do not have the time or resources to get these ideas out into the real world, is just a rationalization, it does not seem like that to me. It seems like I definitely do not have the time or resources to get these ideas out into the real world.

So what I'm going to do, instead of actually doing them, is just share them with you. The only person who matters in having ideas, is the person who does the idea. And so all of these ideas, which I'm tired of thinking of as my ideas, I just want them to be ideas. So I'm gonna share with you some of the ideas that I simply do not want to have anymore. Please enjoy them, take them at face value, and if you want to put some time into doing this yourself, please, please do it.

Idea number one: Some kind of charity slash nonprofit database that's like match.com for charities. And you answer a bunch of survey questions, and you fill it all in, and then at the end of the process the thing just says "these are the charities that are most aligned with your interests. Give to these charities." So you don't have to think about it, and you can be a good person more quickly and with less effort.

Idea number two: I think that we can all intrinsically when someone over the age of eighty dies, it's not as much of a tragedy when someone the age of forty or twenty dies. You know, natural order and all that stuff. So I've always kind of wanted there to be a Death Index that tells you not what the leading cause of death is, but what the leading cause of people losing years of their life is. So this would of course bump car accidents way up 'cos car accidents kill young people and it would push heart disease and cancer down because heart disease and cancer kill old people. I don't even know if it would change the picture that much, but I think it's something that should be done. Because I think that we should be making decisions not just based on how many people things are killing, but at what age the things are killing the people.

Idea Number Three: uh... buttfires.com. Buttfires.com is like an e-greeting card service except that you send them not when it's someone's birthday or they had a baby or something, but when you've been expecting them to maybe get that proposal in. You send them a butt fire. Which would basically be the internet version of lighting a fire under someone's ass.

The next idea is the Recipe Kiosk. Which would basically be an integration between a recipe database and an inventory database at a supermarket. So you just walk up to it of like, what you want. Like, "I want a healthy meal," and it would be like "Vegetarian Lasagna" and I'd be like, "okay, vegetarian lasagna." And then it would show me the recipe, and it would show me how easy it is. And then I would say, I'm feeding two people and then it would tell me how many calories are in that recipe and it would tell me how much it would cost at the grocery store. And then I'd say, "yes, I want that recipe!" and it would print out the recipe, along with my grocery list, and where all the things are in the store, so I don't have to like, search around.

I like this idea, I think that it would be great 'cos I'm always going to the grocery store and I'm like, "I don't know what to get! I don't know how to make food!"

Next idea: Stuff on my cat works really well, so I figured stuff on babies would work, too. Babies are pretty much just as cute as cats. I think that stuffonbabies.com would do well. If anyone has babies and they like putting stuff on their babies, that is a domain name that I actually own, so if you're interested in developing this, just, uh let me know?

I'm not sayin' that's all my ideas. It's possible that I have too much brain crack to let go of it all at once. I can't quite go cold turkey. But it feels good to have those out there. And I hope that you, Nerdfighteria, will also free your brain of the brain crack! The world needs ideas! But it doesn't need ideas that are stuck inside your head, so let them free!

I'd love to see your brain crack spilling out all over the comments and video responses.

Free yourself!

Bye.