Previous: December 20th: HANK SHALL BE PUNISHED!



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In which Hank discusses his punishment, and the final days for Brotherhood 2.0.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
December (thinks) ... 21st. (cuts with scissors across screen) Good morning, John, it's Friday, December 21st.

For those of you who wonder how I talk so fast in all of my videos and so rarely screw up any of the things that I say, it's because of these. (snips scissors) iMovie actually has a little scissors logo (snips scissors), so it's like, yes, this is what you're doing (snips) uh, virtually. It's like cutting and pasting. Kids who are born in fifteen years, they won't know what paste is!

They will think that it's control v! (makes a noise like "HENH!") I just went back and watched that noise I made again. (repeats clip of "HENH!" three times) That's a funny one. Anyway, John, I wanted to tell you something. Last night I had a dream.

I had a dream that I was sitting on a stage in front of hundreds of people, and I had to play my guitar in front of all of them. But I couldn't remember any of my nerdfighter songs, my guitar wasn't working, and then by the end of it, I was a member of the Violent Femmes, and there was a little girl who was going to come save all of our lives ... But I didn't know any of the chords to any of the songs, John!

I didn't know any of the chords! I was like, "Guys, Gordon, Brian - two members of the Violent Femmes - I don't how to play this song!" And they were like, "Dude, it's 'Blister in the Sun.' We have played this song at every concert we have ever played since 1987, and you don't know the chords?" And I was like, "No, I don't! I'm not a very good guitar player!

It was very scary, especially because it was the end of the concert, and the crowd was like, "We've been sitting through all these songs that I've never heard you play, and waiting for 'Blister in the Sun' and now we're not going to have it because this guy can't play the chords?" It would have sucked a lot more if it hadn't turned out that like the world was ending, and there was this little girl who had the power to stop it all ... and yeah. So it ended up not being so bad. But I think it's obvious that I have some anxiety here.

However, I have an announcement to make the voting has been pretty clear. My punishment is certainly going to be performing nerdfighter songs for at least an hour, and if I need a drink, drinking Strawberry Hill flavored citrus wine blended with peeps. (sighs) Which sounds like a pretty significant punishment in the (gestures at face)... yes. It sounds, it sounds like I'm getting what I deserve is what I'm trying to say, but I have a second announcement to make as well.

I am coming to you late today because I have something to tell you. Specifically, nerdfighters who live in Missoula. And I had to get confirmation on all of this before I could announce it.

I called a friend who has a friend who owns a bar - and for those of you who live in Missoula you may have heard of it; it's called the Badlander. And my friend booked me for my happy hour at the Badlander on Wednesday, the day after Christmas. So on December 26th from 6:30 to 7:30 at the Badlander in Missoula, Montana, I will be playing my guitar.

In front of people. And I would really appreciate it if some of the people there were nerdfighters. A lot.

I would really appreciate that because if not, it's just going to be really confusing. The guy who owns the bar is totally into it. He would just be playing a CD anyway, so he was like, "Whatever.

If you guys what to do this, you can have our stage." So we just said yes and now I have a gig. So I've been playing some of my repertoire of nerdfighter songs, and it turns out that my dream is shockingly accurate. I don't know the chords to my songs!

And largely I don't know the words to my songs either! So this is embarrassing, but I'm probably going to have to play with a stand with like my music on it. Because there's no way I can memorize enough songs to fill up an hour of space before Wednesday.

The other crazy thing is Thursday is the next day that I'm going to make a video because Monday is Christmas Eve - though there will be a surprise for all the nerdfighters on Christmas Eve. Monday is Christmas Eve, and Tuesday is Christmas, and then Wednesday is your day, and then Thursday will be the day that I will post my punishment, and Friday is your day. So I'm not going to have another video blog that isn't a punishment before Monday, and Monday is the last day of Brotherhood 2.0!

I'm kind of sad. Do you see that? (points to sign) Someone made me a nerdfighter sign. Thanks.

John, I think I'm having some sort of existential crisis, but I'm going to try and enjoy Christmas, and no practice my guitar the whole time because I'm freaked out about this. In any case, John, I will see you - oh my God - on Wednesday. Oh my God.