[Eli] I've got another one.

[Victoria] Unrelated. This is at least a hundred miles from any of the other sightings.

[Eli] I'm pinning it anyway.

[Victoria] There's a system! I only want reports that could potentially be the same suspect.

[Eli] The creature. They're calling him the creature.

[Victoria] I know. It's not fair. Shoulda named him when I had the chance.

(intro)

[Victoria] Multiple witnesses in the town surrounding Engle state have reported strange incidents involving a mysterious moaning and staggering figure. They're calling it...

[Eli] *clears throat*

[Victoria] The Creature.

[Eli] Most people were reporting a strange wondering man who doesn't speak, though one guy says it's the chupacabra.

[Victoria] That's a statistical outlier.

[Eli] We don't know much, no one's gotten too close, except one little girl who says the creature threw her into the river.

[Victoria] She's a child and she was frightened, but she definitely saw something.

[Eli] Next you'll tell me you believe the old blind guy who said the creature came over to his house for soup.

[Victoria] Don't be so quick to discount people's testimonies. We're looking for a pattern; it's important to keep an open mind.

[Eli] Don't you think it's strange that none of the witnesses have been able to grab a picture, I mean everyone has a camera in their pocket.

[Victoria] What about this?

[Eli] Ok, that's a blurry picture of a man standing behind a bush.

[Victoria] What about the rash of animal attacks. A rise in missing dogs and cats?

[Eli] They could've all died suddenly, of natural causes.

[Victoria] What about William?

[Eli] The kid from up the street?

[Victoria] Missing since last night.

[Eli] Kids run away.

[Victoria] Listen. I'm not saying that this creature is definitely my creature. I maintain the most likely scenario is that he's already dead.

[Eli] Exactly, so can we get away from your vision board for just a moment and go get a taco?

[Victoria] If there's even a remote chance that he's still out there, I have to find him.

[Eli] *lets out breath* Ok. D'you want me to take down the chupacabra guy?

[Victoria] *slap*

[Eli] Owwwwwww

[Victoria] The co-ordinates are spot on. It otherwise fits the pattern. You never know.

[Eli] Some wrestler decides to go walking his dog at night, and I miss out on dollar tacos.

[Rory] *door opening* It's me! Oh my goodness, dollar taco night is the best! Am I right? *hi fives Eli* This guy knows what I'm talking about!

[Eli] I do love tacos, and only paying a dollar for things.

[Rory] Oooh, creepy murder board. Who's the next target? it's the vice-chancellor. It's the vice-chancellor, isn't it? (laugh)

[Victoria] There have been reports of animal attacks in the areas. We're... just compiling some data.

[Eli] A little game I like to call 'pin the tail on the inhuman abomination'.

[Rory] Oooh, this again.

[Victoria] I appreciate your concern, but I'm being perfectly rational. It's just some preliminary research, all following standard scientific protocols.

[Rory] Hmm. Chupacabra. Very sciencey.

[Victoria] Eli put that one on there!

[Eli] You told me to keep it up!

[Rory] Wow, he sucks blood out of goats?

[Eli] I know it's really specific, just goats.

[Rory] Huh, grass-fed goats. Progressive.

[Victoria] What?

[Rory] Uh, err, nothing. I dunno, it just seemed like the whole gang was back together again, y'know. Like, Victoria says something smart, Eli pretends to know what she's talking about.

[Eli] Hey!

[Rory] (laugh) I gotta make some snarky remark, and then we all go play in the mud.

[Eli] Uh, maybe later I just bought these pants.

[Rory] And the moment has passed. Heeeyy, Vic. Soo, uh, you wanna go on a little girls camping weekend with me?

[Victoria] Are you serious?

[Rory] Yeah! Justine and I found this great cabin with an amazing view of the lake.

[Eli] Could be good, fresh air, get some time away from your 'wall of nightmares'.

[Victoria] Wait did you know about this?

[Eli] What, no, I mean maybe, not the Justine part.

[Rory] As it turns out, Justine is pretty awesome, and sweat pants are super comfortable and there's no reason not to wear them. I might have been wrong.

[Victoria] Well, I would love to, but if something breaks on the creature case...

[Rory] Because we are not in a cartoon from the seventies, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say 'if something breaks on the creature case'.

[Victoria] I'm sorry, I'm just not up to it.

[Eli] You sure? Sounds like fu-un.

[Victoria] Maybe you should go then.

[Eli] Pff what? No way. Camping, with two of my ex-girlfriends? Alone in the woods?

[Victoria] Go on, you've clearly thought this scenario through a few times.

[Eli] Not even once.

[Rory] Ok, I'm gonna go before it gets any more charmingly awkward. Y'know, it's nice. Seeing you two together again. I like it. It pleases me. Oh and, uh, Eli. Just so you know.

[Eli] What?

[Rory] Justine told me.

[Eli] Told you? I can't imagine what?

[Rory] (laugh) The gummy worm story.

[Eli] Why, why would she do that to me?

[Victoria] What's the gummy worm story?

[Eli] Don't you dare!

[Rory] I couldn't, even if I wanted to; I'm sworn to secrecy.

[Victoria] You have to tell me! I'll find out sooner or later!

[Rory] I'm taking it to the grave!

[Eli] You can't make me tell.

[Victoria] I think we all know I could.

[Eli] Y'know, you could've gone with her if you wanted, I'll stay here and keep an eye on 'Creaturegate'.

[Victoria] There'll be more camping trips.

[Eli] That's for sure. She loves 'em.

[Victoria] Y'know, you could have gone, if you wanted.

[Eli] I'll never become a full time member of the Monster Squad with that attitude!

[Victoria] Hey. I'm serious.

[Eli] Me too. I'm right where I wanna be.