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In which John answers questions.


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A Bunny
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Good morning Hank, it's Friday, it's question Friday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters.

Are there any words you still can't spell?
I occasionally struggle with occasionally. Also refrigerator, where is your "D", refrigerator? (0:11)

Did you see that NASA tweeted Hank's video?
Yes I did! Hank, I'm glad you're not quite as obsessed with space as you were when you were 16, because that might have made your brain explode. (0:20)

Wait, in Hank's video, he said that telescope can see into the past. How can you see into the past?
Okay, so light travels at a speed, so if something is 13 billion light-years away, what we see when we look at it happened 13 billion years ago because that's how long it took the light to get to us. Similarly, our sun is like 8 light-minutes away from us so we have no idea what is currently happening on the sun. All of our sun-related news is at least 8 minutes old. Which is why the sun needs a twitter, Hank. That wouldn't work? Bummer. (0:49)

Which part of Will Grayson, Will Grayson did you write?
Uppercase Will AKA straight Will AKA Schrödinger's Will. (0:54)

Hey do y'all fill up power steering fluid?
Sorry that was my question for Jiffy Lube. (0:58)

Who the eff is Hank?
Hank is a comic book superhero from the DC Universe who first appeared in 1939. Hank is also known as "The Caped Crusader" and "The Hank." (1:08)

Where should I invest a small amount of money?
I recommend a broad index fund like the Wilshire 5000. (1:12)

If you could live in any period of history, which would it be?
This one. Why would anyone wanna live in a period other than this one? Like, I acknowledge that Rome was fantastic and everything but a nerd with 4 days on his hand can recreate Rome in its entirety in Minecraft. (1:27)

What are those blue creatures behind you?
There are blue creatures behind me? Do they look menacing? You can't answer. You're inside the internet. I'm just gonna have to turn around and face the music. Oh those guys?! These were sewn for me by a nerdfighter. Possibly they were supposed to be a present for Henry, but anyway I took them. (1:43)

Peeta or Gale?
I am with the bakers! (1:46)

Do you use hair product?
No. The puff needs hair product like Hank needs caffeine. (1:50)

What's your overall stance on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?
My overall stance is that both sides need to recognize the legitimacy of the other's narrative. (1:58)

Will your zombie novella ever be published?
It was released under a creative commons license so it is freely available all over the internet -- link in the dooblydoo. However, before you download it, you are ethically obligated to leave a comment thanking all the people who donated because without them, this terrible zombie novella would not exist. Also, you have to promise to read one of my actual books -- link in the dooblydoo -- so you don't believe that I'm as bad a writer as my zombie novella would indicate. (2:21)

Why do we have eyelids?
I don't know; blinking is for COWARDS. (2:25)

When you and Hank play clue, who is Mr. Green?
So Hank in the original British Cluedo, Mr. Green is called Reverend Green but when they brought it to America they felt like that was sacrilege -- sacrilege, by the way, is another word I have trouble spelling. So they renamed him Mr. Green, but anyway I'm usually Colonel Mustard. (2:39)

What English word retains its pronunciation even after you take away 4 of its 5 letters?
Queue. Another word I have trouble spelling. This is like the John Green Spelling Bee Nightmare Edition of Question Friday. (2:49)

What's your bracelet?
It's an Esther bracelet! You don't have an Esther bracelet? You should get one, they make the world suck less! Link in the dooblydoo. (2:55)

Why was Henry crying at the end of your last video?
That is not a question that was asked by a parent. There is no "why." Like pretty much the only two thoughts babies ever have are "I am ecstatically happy," and "this could be better." And they really only have one strategy to take things from "this could be better" to "I am ecstatically happy," which is crying. (3:13)

Why is a bubble round?
Because they're minimal surface structures, and spheres have minimal surface. (3:17)

How's your Warner Chilcott stock doing?
Thank you for asking, I'm down $32. Warner Chilcott, you need to do a better job of Warner Chilcott-ing sick people or else I'm never gonna get my money back. (3:27)

Can I be your last question?
Almost. (3:29)

Will you see Hank on Monday?
YES! (3:31)

By the way, Hank, if you want an awesome gold eagle shirt from our friend the Whomping Willow, link in the dooblydoo.