Hank Green: Hi, this is Hank. Today on hankgames you will see us!

Katherine Green: Yeah!

HG: What.

KG: It's very exciting.

HG: Today, we're playing Story War with Hank and Katherine and Emily and Michael. I don't know how this is going to go. A live hankgames episode with real people playing a real game, and today we are playing a game that is having a Kickstarter right now, so we're very lucky to even be able to have a copy. This is Story War. Which is out of focus, and on the back it says prototype in comic sans. Story War is a game designed by some friends of mine. Vondell Swain did all of the art. Vondell Swain who designed the nerdfighter crest, among other awesome design thingies. And Frezned, or Tom, and also, we're not sure, but the guy who either created or popularized keyboard cat.

[Katherine sings keyboard cat song]

Emily Graslie: I love keyboard cat.

HG: So he will maybe play us off at the end of the episode. So Story war is basically like Apples to Apples or Cards Against Humanity. It's a party game, but instead of word matching, the idea is that you have, uh, warriors that fight. They have a war, and you have to tell a story of the war,ah, in order to get the judge to choose your warrior as the winner of the battle. So...

KG: Give us some cards!

HG: I'm going to give some cards. So... I think that everybody starts out with-

KG: How many?

HG: Three warriors.

EG: And we can look at them?

HG: Yeah.


EG: Okay.

HG: And three items.

EG: I'm bad at remembering

HG: And then the judge will turn over an environment for the battle to take place in, and everybody will choose which warrior they think is best. Were you looking at my cards?

KG: No, I was just getting a little closer...

[laughter]

KG: I'm halfway through a fellowship. 

HG: I just... (laughs) 

KG: What? 

HG: Katherine is halfway to a fellowship. 

KG: I want to look at your cards, honey, cus 

HG: Stop looking at them!

KG: cause they're so... I'm so curious. 

HG: Don't do it!

KG: Also right there.

HG: I haven't read them yet! I want to read them out loud because that's part of the fun of this game is the clever things in the description. 

HG: I think I'll be the first judge. 

Michael Aranda: It's not called HankGames for no reason. 

[laughter]

HG: I'm always first, 

KG: Okay, 

HG: And also I always win. 

HG: So I turn over the land and then you all, you all choose your card then we'll all flip at the same time. 

KG: Ok

HG: All right, I've read all my cards, I'm informed of them and how they operate, um. 

KG: But you don't get to play one. 

HG: No, um, the card, 

[laughter]

HG: No, but I wanted to know, 

KG: So what's the point 

HG: I wanted to be ready. 

KG: Okay, alright. 

HG: Was everyone else ready and they were waiting for me? 

KG: Uhh... 

EG: Uhh... Meh.. 

HG: The first battle will take place in Sky Port. This once sleepy port was catapulted to fame when an earthquake threw it high into the air, and apparently it stayed there. 

HG: There's a spaceship, or an ornithopter, possibly. I think it's an ornithopter; I don't think it's a spaceship. 

KG: What is that word? 

HG: Ornithopter? 

KG: Yeah.. 

HG: It's like a, um, mechanized flying device, but it flies like a bird instead of like a plane 

KG: That's what it looks like. 

EG: Makes sense, because ornithology! 

HG: Yeah! Bird! Bird-opter! 

MA: Kay

HG: Okay. It's all, it's all gonna just gonna break loose, it's gonna just

KG: *Sighs* 

HG: Go crazy, as soon as you guys flip it over, and then, you just have to argue with each other for

KG: Sounds fun 

HG: So, three two one go! 

KG: Sounds like my kind of game. 

HG: Oh!

*exasperated noises from Hank, Katherine and Emily*

HG: There's a Sky Whale? 

EG: It took you that long to figure out? 

HG: "Which one should I choose? I have a Sky Whale." Did you also have a Sky Mammoth? 

[lauger] 

MA: Well, I had another thing that maybe would've been okay. 

EG: This physiologically does not look very uh.. viable 

KG: Well, there's this thing, though, about the Sky Whale, I mean, it's just big. 

[laughter] 

KG: It doesn't seem to have any weapons 

MA: The idea.. 

EG: It doesn't have any prehensile limbs that would've  

KG: We're fighting.

EG: I would totally argue that my Blue Dragon, the one that breathes frost and can most likely fly, given that she is a dragon, 

HG: There is a wing. The pictures, I was told, that the pictures are an important part, so they should not be ignored. Whatever's in the picture counts as an ability of the card. 

EG: I think it's pretty clear that if she even attempted to take on your fat, tubby Sky Whale, which has to be hollow, if it weighs over a couple tons, but is lighter than a cloud. 

[laughter] 

KG: I don't think we're operating in a very scientific realm here? 

EM: I mean, I just, we have to argue our point, and I'm just arguing it the way I know how. 

KG: My Dwarf is very strong, and also is wielding an axe. And, he's very agile. I can tell because he's got some boots. 

KG: Dwarfs can, uh, pretty much kick anyone's butt. And, his only limitation in this realm is probably that he can't fly, but he's on a flying carpet, so. 

HG: OHHH

EG: OHH, oh come on! 

HG: He's on a flying carpet! 

EG: So Dwarf on Flying Carpet versus Sky Whale versus Blue Dragon. 

KG: He's about to show you, the world. 

HG: Wow. 

EG: But she's as cold, she's a cold intellectual. 

MA: I feel like a Sky Whale could like, just swat the Dwarf off the Flying Carpet, with his giant tail.

E: I feel like the Sky Whale's gonna be way too derpy on this.

H: i'm gonna get youuuuu.  I'm calling last arguments.

E: uh, Blue Dragon can fly, can breathe frost, and is a cold intellectual.  It can take, obviously overtake the Sky Whale.

H: How?

E: Well, it has superior flying ability and it's way more smart than *all laugh*

H: All of Emily's arguments are going to rest on the intelligence levels of the creatures in the game.  Michael, last argument.

M: Umm, I mean, I feel like it would just, like, eat the Blue Dragon and, you know, strain it through its baleen.

E: It's totally omnivorous.

M: And it would knock this dwarf of the flying carpet with its giant tail.

H: Okay.  Now my job is to tell the story of how it actually-

K: Oh I don't get a last argument.

H: Oh! Sorry, no Kath-!  Final argument.

K: Well, the dwarf on the flying carpet is agile, he's very strong, he has a, an obvious weapon.  He's a human, so he's smarter than a dragon by default.

E: No, uh, nnn...

H: I don't know, I don't accept the final... I do not accept

K: Well, he's not human, but he does have...

H: First of all, he's not human, second, there's no reason why a human, er a dwarf, OR a human should be smarter than a dragon.  In fact I think that generally,

K: Probably.

H: If there's, there's a high probability that all dragons are smarter than all people.

K: You don't have a  argument in this round.

H: I don't , but I do get to decide, see here's the story, here's my-this is like, I love this.  I get to now tell the story of what happened in the battle, that's the judge's...

K: Very exciting.

H: It is very exciting, so here's what happens, in the battle.  We are in Sky Port, and three epic warriors have come together to do battle.  The Blue Dragon is like "I must fight, uh.. because I've been told that there's a battle going on here."  And so the Blue Dragon flies toward the Sky Whale, with the breath ablazing with frost, and the Sky Whale opens its mouth and closes it upon the Blue Dragon.  The Blue Dragon flies around inside of the Sky Whale, which is definitely hollow to support that it is both flying and a whale, and then freezes its baleen, and blows through the mouth of the Sky Whale which is now gaping, a hole in the front of its face.

E: Heeeyyy.

H: Then, 

K: Awww, it's okay. Aww.

H: As it does that, a dwarf on a flying carpet flies and chops off the Blue Dragon's head, just right off.

E: Aw, come on!

(7:45)